I want to say this

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I always suspect when I hear stories about how aspie guys get girls that they are using pick up artistry. I tried some when I was in high school and I got my first girlfriend less than a week later. If you get the good stuff it's not memorizing lines or routines, but getting familiar with an attitude that women find attractive, and improving social skills in general. I think a lot of guys could use it without destroying their personality, but I thought it was unpleasant to use and I got attention from girls I wasn't really that interested in when I used it, so I tried to forget it. I'm kind of bitter about the experience. I worked really hard for several years to try to improve my social skills and I found out when I got good that I didn't like it. It's really kind of obnoxious that I know how to get girls to like me, but I dislike doing it and I think being attracted to some of those traits is really unattractive.

Maybe my personality just sucks. Before I learned that pickup artistry stuff I always got more attention from girls when I kept my mouth shut.

And I want to say this.......MEOW!! !

I don't like attributing things to luck. Of course you don't have any control over whether people like you or not, but whether they like you isn't random. People are attracted to certain things.

Unless you're dealing with stochastic relationships, then luck is usually what people use to describe things that they either don't understand or aren't very good at.



And I'm not going to approach 100 girls a night because I don't want to get laid by random girls. If you'd paid attention to what I wrote then you would probably understand that. If that were all I were interested in then I would still be using the pick-up stuff.

And I don't see how it is like religion at all. There aren't any dogmas in the stuff I looked at (or very few). They didn't teach you what to do in certain situations and they didn't teach you routines/rituals, they taught you a methodology. They also focused a lot on the types of things that girls like to talk about in conversations, but nothing in particular that you always had to say. Also it actually worked, because before I got random offers for sex from girls I didn't like or know, but when I used it, very often I got success with interactions that I initiated. Also, my understanding is that I'm kind of hot, so just ignoring every girl you ever see like I did in high school will probably not work for most guys. And I haven't gotten any random offers like that since getting out of high school. The atmosphere in college is probably different.

I'm so confused with all these posts.

I am insecure as it is, and now I'm just going to dwell on this artistry comment. So the guy I met and have been seeing is an aspie. I'm an aspie. He made an effort with me. Does that mean he is just using me? He tells me I look good, (not all the time obviously) but I tell him he looks good too, because I believe it. He tells me he's never had a girl like me tell me he looks good. I don't understand what he means because what is "a girl like me"? I ask him a lot of questions but he goes into overload when I do, so I have stopped asking. Who cares about looks deep down, though> I don't. I know initially I didn't like the way he looked and now I have changed my mind and really find his face attractive (his body I always liked from the start).

The way I see it theres a reason things like PUA work.
They are based on approaching people constantly until you are no longer affected by their rejection.

When you take into account quite a bit of people that are "suitable" dont have a relationship going on this days you can see why this sort of thing "works"(just the other day I was introduced to a smart average looking girl with a degree that blushed when a female friend said she was pretty in a jokey tone(standard thing to do around here), day before that a 35 year old that was above average asked me about my relationship so I asked her about her life and she said she had nothing going on, the list is endless and I dont actually ask them)

Youd have the same success rate or higher with a full honest approach and you asked just as many people(quite oftenly a girl that is interested loses interest when she sees its a routine for example)

That's a good point... Fear Of Failure (FOF) is crippling, particularly for men, and prevents people from even attempting to seek what they want.

Based on conversations I've had with NT friends that went on online dating sites, the NT women tend to answer messages that don't only speak to how they look. They want to see some indication that the guy is aware they have interests listed, and that they have brains. It didn't always matter what the guys looked like or how successful they were. Humor can go a long way, and so can showing that you have some grasp of language.

Thanks for being positive OOM. It's a shame it mostly didn't have the intended effect.

Most of the discussions are just plainly getting old, but there is still one point I'd like to address, about PUA. It's not as bad as it sounds. I used it quite a lot back in the day, found through experimentation and trial and error how some things worked, and what were the concepts that made it work, and it was definitely better than being utterly clueless as I used to be, even though it also led to some quite embarassing moments~ PUA material, as many other things in this world, is a tool, that can be used in a good way or in a bad way.

are girls not as attracted to looks as guys are? is that the point?