asked a woman out today

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It's customary to tip. In America, anyway, waiters and delivery drivers are much of the time paid below minimum wage, and it's expected the tips will make up the difference. For example, when I was a delivery driver for a week or two, I got paid $6 an hour cash, when minimum in my state was like $7.85 (I also didn't get reimbursed for gas.) This keeps food prices lower at restaurants, in some ways artificially, as the management doesn't have to pay as high salaries to the workers. At Pizza Hut, I'm assuming they pay minimum, but non-corporate places often don't, and also won't reimburse for mileage. And the reason delivery fares exist is because brilliant people like you decide that tipping is lame, and thus they need money to give drivers for at the very least their gasoline to get to your house.

However, some European countries the opposite scenario exists. They just automatically include the tip price in your bill or in the cost of the food, and tipping isn't customary there. My friend from Sweden thought it was weird, he at first was like "Wow food is so cheap here!" and then he didn't realize he needed to tip. Also, one difference he said in Sweden (and I assume this applies in Europe) is if you're in a restaurant and the food and service is bad, you're allowed to just walk out and refuse to pay for the food. I don't know if you're allowed per se, but at least from what he was telling me, I don't think you'd get arrested for it like you would here. So different strokes I guess. He said food prices were about equal, though.

As far as paying for people, well. It's what friends do. I've paid for my friends to eat out with me (a very small amount of times) and my friends have paid for me to eat with them. This happens with just platonic friends. I don't see why it's absurd to do if you think highly of a girl. I mean if you don't got money, you don't, and you'd have to be upfront with the girl that you do not have money. She'll eventually find out, I'm guessing.

But regarding paying for people, it's an interesting test. Jobs actually do it. When I interviewed for Subway, after the interview they offer you a 6 inch sub. Refuse it. There's two things about it. First off, in a job interview scenario, you should be coming prepared. If you need food, it means you didn't eat breakfast or whatever. Second, if you get something, it shows you're willing to take, but not give. Strange psychology, I know. If you do take something, though, don't take something complex, take something small/simple. Starbucks also does this if you interview for them, too.

How you can apply this to dating, or business, or whatever, is taking people out to eat and offering to pay for them. If they pick out really expensive menu items or a really expensive restaurant, it pretty much means they're willing to take advantage of you. In some cases, too, it could be different socioeconomic factors in play, too. If a girl is rich, she could pick out a "rich" restaurant almost inadvertently, and then you'll know she expects you to be rich, too. Also, even food choices can tell a bit about a person. I personally love cooking, it's a big hobby/special interest of mine. If a girl is adventurous and will eat foreign food/spicy food, I'm gonna be a lot more interested in her and I think there'd be a higher level of compatibility compared to a girl who orders a plain burger and fries or something. That said, if you do end up taking a girl (or even a friend or person you're doing business with) out to eat and she racks up a huge bill on you, take it as a lesson. It only cost you that meal to know that person is not good for you.

My friend who's a bit more socially better than me taught me this. I think it's good for us, as unlike social cues like body language or something, this is fairly concrete to figure out.

Lastly, to billiscool, yeah, you're not Tom Cruise. You cannot say lines like that until you become Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. Then you can do whatever you want all the time and still be "cool" and not creepy. So I'd say you bombed this one pretty hard. But congrats, you have more balls than everyone on this board, so feel proud of that.

Lastly, one thing that always confused me is people suggesting coffee for dates. I don't get that. Everyone suggests coffee for dates. It seems like your intents are fairly obvious just by saying coffee alone. Everyone is like "Oh, ask her to coffee" and I'm thinking "Why don't I just go be like, 'Hi, wanna go to my house and bone right now?' " As that's how obvious coffee seems to me. It seems like coffee is suggested because it's a "neutral" place, but it seems to be the least neutral thing you can possibly suggest for a date. I'd like a little feedback on this. Am I right, or is everyone else just more oblivious than me on this one?

Well, coffee is certainly associated with dates, although moreso in the USA than around here; it's also about the context; if you meet up with someone specifically to have coffee then it would look like a date, while if you're just having an interesting conversation, maybe you've been standing outside tha classroom talking for 10 minutes, then suggesting to keep going over coffee seems just natural.

I don't "buy" anyone's time, and it's usual that women will pay for themselves during a friendly meet-up anyway.

Even the King of the swingers is facepalming at this attempt.

The person asking pays for the first date regardless of their gender.

You may however mention that next time is on them(with a jokey tone) or ask if its always going to be your treat(with a jokey tone) after a couple of followup dates.

Anything else is just wrong. Unless you are either extremely handsome or extremely funny and Id say those are still taking a risk doing what you did.

it's all cool. That same night I ask another woman if she wants to buy me coffee and she said ''maybe'' but then I left shortly after.
and I talk to another lady after the first lady I talk to ( One I told I was a millionare) but I didn't ask her to ''buy me coffee'',
she had tattos. One of these days, some lady will go out with me. (for maybe 1 day)

I want to know how the original conversation preceding asking her out went.

haah

It can work if it is done in a playful manner, Bill just didn't execute is right. Those guys that do it in your area probably have the playful or cocky persona nailed down.

me: hey how you know Im not a millionare
her: well, I don't
me: yeah, I could have been a millionare, I could have gaven you some money

What the f**k were you thinking at this point?

Why did you demand she buy coffee?

Man i think your doing this thing i do.. basing your personality on the last film you saw...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9nlzNcujFs[/youtube]

About time someone get the reference!

Sorry I couldnt resist saw Rainman when I was alot younger because my family members say I reminded them like rainman haha I was pretty bad when I was much younger but not as bad as rainman!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H47ow4_Cmk0[/youtube]

Man i need to give this a full dissection, so you could atleast learn from your mistake..

me:say you like coffee
her: yeah
So a good opener, not the best but you have a conversation, her reply leaves it open for you to ask her to go with you...

me: so, how about you buy me some coffee at starbuck
her:uh, no
This is really weird line to go down.. you have engaged her, you are the one seeking her approval, you are not a god king for whom she out drop her panties at the slightest notice...
However that line salvagable, shes still in the game.. a quick witted guy would shoot back.. well how about i buy you some coffee then?

me: really, oh well
me: hey how you know Im not a millionare
This line is completely unrelated to the conversation, i mean the conversation is over.. this line is akin to going off on a tangent.. its not relevant to the above conversation...
her: well, I don't
me: yeah, I could have been a millionare, I could have gaven you some money
Dude why on earth did you say this? it makes it seem like shes a prostitute... ? its really odd and out of line.. for a start, she isn't going to buy that you are a ballin millionaire.. she isn't even interested at this point..
( I think left sometimes after that, and came back)

me: hey, my lawyer are going to talk to you bout not buying me coffee
^ this is where the aspie stuff comes out really badly, its something rainman would say, the topic is over and you shouldve left it, it can be unsettling for women to be accosted by men..
her: ok
me: well, you have a good thanksgiving, bye
^ nice line, it would have been great if you had have started off polite instead of trying to be a playa

The woman didn't want to go out with me. So why should it matter what I say to her? she didn't want to date me, oh well.
didn't get my free coffee .

here what makes no sense. If a woman has no interest and does not want to date me, then why should it matter what I say around her.

Because what put her off may lay in what you said rather than who you are/look.
She only has a few seconds to decide if shes going to nosh you or not, so you gotta go upto her with all the positives showing and none of the negs.
If a women isn't going to sleep with you, you shouldnt disrespect her... you have a reputation to uphold..