creepy guys have such confidence

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rabidmonkey4262
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22 Nov 2012, 10:21 pm

billiscool wrote:
what about men who are just annoying. are they the same as creepy?


Yes. When guys are annoying, we see it as an invasion of our privacy and it makes us uncomfortable.


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LKL
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22 Nov 2012, 11:33 pm

I would say no. Some people are annoying in a creepy way, but it's also possible to be annoying in a non-creepy way.



again_with_this
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22 Nov 2012, 11:47 pm

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
Yes. When guys are annoying, we see it as an invasion of our privacy and it makes us uncomfortable.


This sounds like it could be an excuse for poor manners or ill treatment of another human being. If you find a guy "annoying," that's all the justification you need to treat him like shiit?



LKL
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22 Nov 2012, 11:52 pm

turn-about is fair play. Being /deliberatley/ annoying is poor manners and ill-treatment of another human being. I have no moral obligation to be polite to someone who is impolite to me.
If it's not deliberate, then I need to /politely/ tell the person that I find their behavior annoying and that they need to stop - and if they don't stop, they're being rude.



rabidmonkey4262
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23 Nov 2012, 12:33 am

again_with_this wrote:
rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
Yes. When guys are annoying, we see it as an invasion of our privacy and it makes us uncomfortable.


This sounds like it could be an excuse for poor manners or ill treatment of another human being. If you find a guy "annoying," that's all the justification you need to treat him like shiit?


Who said it was justification for treating anyone like s**t?


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rabidmonkey4262
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23 Nov 2012, 12:40 am

LKL wrote:
turn-about is fair play. Being /deliberatley/ annoying is poor manners and ill-treatment of another human being. I have no moral obligation to be polite to someone who is impolite to me.
If it's not deliberate, then I need to /politely/ tell the person that I find their behavior annoying and that they need to stop - and if they don't stop, they're being rude.


People need to realize that they're adults. That means that they have the responsibility to figure out how to control their impulses. I once had a really good friend. Unfortunately the friendship had to stop because he went into the creepy/obsessive mode. I told him several times to stop and he just wouldn't.


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23 Nov 2012, 2:14 am

I had a goose that kept trying to hump me
I keep pushing him off and we finally just became friendsImage



billiscool
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23 Nov 2012, 2:27 am

I say annoying and creepy are two different thing/
a annoying guy will go up to a woman and say thing like ''flash your tiitys'' or act like a douchebag.
Gets on the woman nerve.

a creepy guy is a guy that really scares and makes a woman uncomfortable.



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23 Nov 2012, 2:47 am

well groomed tall european guys in suits are not creepy
unshaven cargo wearing t shirted ageing hippies could freak some chicks out
spech if they got the aspies
but in Auckland round here
some crack heads have the market cornered
meth amphetamine psychosis = creepy



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23 Nov 2012, 3:35 am

Creepiness is defined by making the other person uncomfortable one way or another.

If someone is uncomfortable by you just being at a place and you dont approach them/ do anything unusual to give them this impression then thats their own problem and theres nothing you can do about it.

If however you have issues being labelled as creepy Id advise you to make sure that you are approaching women in a friendly manner(bonus points if she is at an event where its expectable that she´ll be approached by strangers(yes there are said places, I cant point them out because they vary from place to place))

Also if you fear that some of your clothing gets you labelled as a creep and you want to avoid this you may want to look into alternatives to this item. You wouldnt have to wear them 24/7 but when you are trying to approach women for example.



spongy
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23 Nov 2012, 3:41 am

billiscool wrote:
I say annoying and creepy are two different thing/
a annoying guy will go up to a woman and say thing like ''flash your tiitys'' or act like a douchebag.
Gets on the woman nerve.

a creepy guy is a guy that really scares and makes a woman uncomfortable.



You are in the street and a random woman that you arent attracted to asks you to drop your pants/underwear.

Are you uncomfortable?

Im going to take a leap and assume that the answer is yes for over 90% of the guys on this board.

We have now defined that you can be annoying to the point of making someone feel uncomfortable and get labelled as creepy regardless of your gender(yes Ive seen girls labelled as creeps and Ive in some rare occasions labelled girls as creeps for annoyingness to the point of making me feel uncomfortable, Ive seen male posters here do the same).



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23 Nov 2012, 3:56 am

spongy wrote:
billiscool wrote:
I say annoying and creepy are two different thing/
a annoying guy will go up to a woman and say thing like ''flash your tiitys'' or act like a douchebag.
Gets on the woman nerve.

a creepy guy is a guy that really scares and makes a woman uncomfortable.



You are in the street and a random woman that you arent attracted to asks you to drop your pants/underwear.

Are you uncomfortable?

Im going to take a leap and assume that the answer is yes for over 90% of the guys on this board.

We have now defined that you can be annoying to the point of making someone feel uncomfortable and get labelled as creepy regardless of your gender(yes Ive seen girls labelled as creeps and Ive in some rare occasions labelled girls as creeps for annoyingness to the point of making me feel uncomfortable, Ive seen male posters here do the same).


It's still more likely that guy would be labelled a creep than a girl though. The thing is, what makes someone a creep can be highly subjective. While I know there are some guys who genuine creeps and simply don't respect a woman's boundaries, what happens when it's unintentional?



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23 Nov 2012, 5:57 am

When a small beach community were all talking and meeting about a paedophile living amongst them, the girl in the general store served me with much disdain and venom. I paid and left. A few weeks after wards I saw her on the beach and she was was really humble and sorry looking, as some one told her I was a local aspie.

A lot of NT's to react badly to us autists, and often feel ashamed afterwards.... and then learn from their dealings with us.

Many NT's have never met an aspie, and dont even know what they are

Also fearful neurotypicals, will due to fear and paranoia [as well as ignorance] find more people creepy, than say a confident well adjusted [and experienced] neurotypical

So essentially the perceiver[programmed by societal norms], sets the bar for what is acceptable and what is creepy



CrazyStarlightRedux
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23 Nov 2012, 7:22 am

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
Cheesy lines only work with drunk girls or the ones who aren't so smart. You might think that guy is lucky, but the decent women are looking for someone with more intellect and class.


And yet many of us are labelled creepy just because we can't read the signals. I would say that most of us here are smart.

Yep, woman really know how to find a intellectual dude just because he's got confidence. :roll: Most of the time, you either get a confident dude who isn't as smart as you hope or a smart dude who is labelled creepy because he can't tell the signs. Very rarely you get both intellect and confidence.


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ColdEyesWarmHeart
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23 Nov 2012, 7:35 am

Problem is that it is hard to define what creepy actually is. I've met a few guys who I think, looking back, might have been aspies, but they didn't come across to me as at all creepy. Awkward and shy yes, but that to me isn't remotely creepy.

What I think creepy is:
The guy that starts chatting a woman up, won't take no for an answer, and follows her around all night being a nuisance. Even more so if she tries to leave and he tries to follow her.
The guy that starts turning the conversation sexual way too soon and won't change the subject despite being asked to.
Being too touchy-feely, especially after the woman has asked him to stop.
Any form of real life stalking, i.e. following her home, following her to work, hanging around her work, trying to find out where she'll be on a given night and turning up there. This isn't just creepy but criminal behaviour.

It doesn't help that in so many films and TV programmes the hero has to pursue the woman long and hard before she eventually changes her mind and he wins the prize (her). In real life that behaviour is not romantic in the slightest, the woman would probably be terrified that this man won't leave her alone and her friends and family would be helping her to get a restraining order. But it has become a cultural meme, that Real Men chase and the Hero gets the (beautiful and compliant) girl as a trophy for his perseverance, and Real Women might say no but don't mean it, poor thing doesn't know what she wants and if a man stalks her enough, she'll bend to his will. Is it any wonder men get confused when we are bombarded with this stupid trope day-in-day-out?



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23 Nov 2012, 8:09 am

Creepy for me comes from a combination of any or all the following:

- unsafe
- entitlement attitude
- refusal to recongise the lack of interest, response and reciprocity from the person in question

The reason aspies (often inaccurately) get considered creepy is because we usually fit the last category - but we fit it due to our AS, as an inablity which is mistaken for a refusal.


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