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I really like a guy who has Aspergers and i'm nt...Advice?

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girl123456
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24 Nov 2012, 5:31 pm

thewhitrbbit wrote:
I think it's good your interested and interested in learning.

There's a few things worth nothing though.

Aspies may struggle with affirming affection.

Aspies may require a lot of time alone

Aspies may not be a reliable social outing companion.

But

Aspies may be very loyal

Aspies most likely will not be players

The best advice is to understand these issues and be prepared to live with them.


Thanks! I think i like him so much as a person I'd at least try my hardest to live with that! I think I could...but I'm not going to jump the gun. I think I might as well try...I always see the best things in people so I think that will work to my advantage. Thanks for taking the time to help me out!



girl123456
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24 Nov 2012, 6:02 pm

Evy7 wrote:
girl123456 wrote:
Evy7 wrote:
I tried every trick up my sleeve to create ways to show I likedmy BF, but he still had no idea! I had t5o suck it up and be direct, which was very hard since I'm very shy, but I was really to do it. And it worked out well.


Thanks! I'll try and work up the courage gonna be difficult though!

Yes, I think you'll do fine, cute pic btw so pretty.


Thanks :) I hope so :)



Northeastern292
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24 Nov 2012, 6:17 pm

In my case, be upfront. Your mileage may vary.



BrenJB
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24 Nov 2012, 6:41 pm

Adam82 wrote:
Wow, an NT girl who likes an Aspie guy? I wish I could have met someone like you in college. For me, it's always the other way around, and the results are usually dire


I am an NT girl that has been with my aspie guy for over a year.

If you ever want to chat just message me here I'd be glad to help all I can. Research and this site saved my relationship. Understanding is the key. I think he is probably very interested in you so don't let your insecurities worry you. :)

Good luck!



DoodleDoo
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24 Nov 2012, 10:43 pm

I think the goal is to get physical, that's what will initiate a relationship right. Baby steps right. From what you describe he is interested.
So everything you do is to gently get more and more physical.
Shake hands longer than you should.
Offer on the spot massage.
Ask if you can practice kissing because you need the practice or personal kissing research.
Just keep nibbling away until you succeed.
It is cold season you could take care of him when he gets the virus, you know hot lemon tea, stuff to sooth.
Any excuse or corny reason will do.

May I ask, what is your strongest point??



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25 Nov 2012, 3:44 am

What I get from responses to similar questions, though:

Don't be too quick. When you point out your intentions, don't force a response. He might need a few days to think about it.
My impression is that lots of aspies are more comfortable going on a date with someone who they know. So dependent on how well you know each other at the moment, you might want to wait a week before putting your cards on the table.

Aspies are often bad at getting hints in language or even body language, but if you are just friendly towards him, he will notice that.



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25 Nov 2012, 4:13 am

"Aspies most likely will not be players"


Why did I get the exception to the rule? :x

I don't know if he was a player, but he admitted in lying, as to have it easier that way. His own words.

I *hate* lies. All sorts of lies. They just kill it, no matter how you look at it, they serve no purpose in the end, for people like me. But for players? Yes, lies are what gets them through. Otherwise they would still be at the starting line without a chance in hell.



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25 Nov 2012, 4:50 am

Asperger's and lying ...
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt15464.html



girl123456
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25 Nov 2012, 6:12 am

Vectorspace wrote:
What I get from responses to similar questions, though:

Don't be too quick. When you point out your intentions, don't force a response. He might need a few days to think about it.
My impression is that lots of aspies are more comfortable going on a date with someone who they know. So dependent on how well you know each other at the moment, you might want to wait a week before putting your cards on the table.

Aspies are often bad at getting hints in language or even body language, but if you are just friendly towards him, he will notice that.


Thanks that sounds like good advise and I can deal with that :)



girl123456
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25 Nov 2012, 6:18 am

DoodleDoo wrote:
I think the goal is to get physical, that's what will initiate a relationship right. Baby steps right. From what you describe he is interested.
So everything you do is to gently get more and more physical.
Shake hands longer than you should.
Offer on the spot massage.
Ask if you can practice kissing because you need the practice or personal kissing research.
Just keep nibbling away until you succeed.
It is cold season you could take care of him when he gets the virus, you know hot lemon tea, stuff to sooth.
Any excuse or corny reason will do.

May I ask, what is your strongest point??


Well I try, I'm not exactly that forward as a person and I really don't think I'd get away with suggesting to practice kissing! The problem is we spend a lot of time with each other around other people and directs a lot of what he says at me, but I just haven't had enough time alone with him. So I'll suggest a drink or something this week.

And what do you mean by strongest point? In what way?



Vectorspace
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25 Nov 2012, 7:46 am

girl123456 wrote:
Well I try, I'm not exactly that forward as a person and I really don't think I'd get away with suggesting to practice kissing! The problem is we spend a lot of time with each other around other people and directs a lot of what he says at me, but I just haven't had enough time alone with him. So I'll suggest a drink or something this week.

Sounds like a good idea. Just keep in mind that some Aspies are afraid of public and/or crowded place.
Also, don't be surprised if something like in this video happens. :)



BrenJB
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25 Nov 2012, 11:48 am

aspiesandra27 wrote:
"Aspies most likely will not be players"


Why did I get the exception to the rule? :x

I don't know if he was a player, but he admitted in lying, as to have it easier that way. His own words.

I *hate* lies. All sorts of lies. They just kill it, no matter how you look at it, they serve no purpose in the end, for people like me. But for players? Yes, lies are what gets them through. Otherwise they would still be at the starting line without a chance in hell.


Well said. I got an exception to the rule as well. He has improved but we still have our rough spots. Good to meet you on here!



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25 Nov 2012, 11:54 am

girl123456 wrote:
Well i'm NT and there's this guy on my course at uni who I really like but I can't tell if he likes me. I've spoken to him quite a lot and he told me that he was diagnosed with mild Aspergers. I invited to him to a dinner party I had with some friends and quite a lot of people cancelled so I let him know he didn't have to come if he didn't want to. He did and it was just me and him and my friend. He was lovely to talk to and I keep finding more and more that I really like him. After uni I invited a group of people (including him) to come for a drink and he didn't come so I texted him to ask if he was busy and he said he didn't realize that I'd invited him so he did come even though he'd already gone home. He made more eye contact with me than anyone else but he did look at my breasts quite a lot and it was very noticeable. I didn't mind though I was just a bit embarrassed. He talked a lot about his interests which is great because I have the same and he kept asking if it was ok to carry on because he didn't want anyone to find him boring. I just would like to know how to approach it as I tried hinting before I knew that he has Apergers and now I realize that wasn't the best thing to do! The problem is that when it comes to men I'm quite insecure and although I seem confident I find it hard to talk about my emotions and I don't know how direct I could be without knowing if he liked me. I would love for someone to be able to give me some insight as I would really like to get to know him better and I really don't want to make him feel uncomfortable! Any advise would be fantastic! :)
Thanks



O_O ----> (__)(__)

Naughty...naughty aspie boy :lol:



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25 Nov 2012, 1:33 pm

Well? Have you asked him out yet? :D I'll bet you a coffee he'll say yes!



girl123456
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25 Nov 2012, 1:38 pm

BlueMax wrote:
Well? Have you asked him out yet? :D I'll bet you a coffee he'll say yes!


Well not as such we went for a walk today which was lovely and i asked him for a drink on tuesday...the problem is trying to steer the conversation in that direction...or even getting a word in edge-ways... which I don't mind usually haha



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26 Nov 2012, 12:53 am

The strongest point is what are you good at, what do you like doing, what comes easy. I am trying to guess at what your like. My best guess advice for you is to be more straight forward as you may not naturally do this. Even harder is you may be unaware you are not being straight forward. This thought is trying to keep you from getting trapped in no mans land.

P.S As I was typing the first sentence my girlfriend who is next to me suggest exploding :lol: . She is very naughty.