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a good question for the men here who never been laid

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WantToHaveALife
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06 Dec 2012, 5:03 pm

billiscool wrote:
all men here who never had sex. Let say you finaly get a girlfriend and go out with her for one year or less, have sex with her and
then she dumps you or you dump her.
Now let's say after this girlfriend, no other women ever shows any interest in you.
would you be happy and say ''yeah, I got laid once or had a girlfriend once''
or would you be ''Can't get another women to like me'' ''I hate not having another girlfriend''

would you retire from dating and live a celebacy lifestyle
or would you try to get a second date?

(this question is for men who have very hard time getting dates, but all are welcome)


yes i would be very happy and satisfied, i would feel like i finally got the monkey off my back, finally ended, broke my streak of futility with women, i would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all



Evinceo
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06 Dec 2012, 5:09 pm

I think it'd be something like "well, at least it's not impossible." Also, I'd be able to confidently navigate the next experience knowing how everything is supposed to work.

I guess what you're asking "is never having gotten laid really worse then never getting laid" and the answer is "yes."



hyperlexian
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06 Dec 2012, 5:17 pm

some people will always find a down side, even though they finally had it happen. whether it was the age at which they lost their virginity, the "quality" of their partner ("slut", unattractive female, desperate female), the level of their performance, the type of relationship it stemmed from, whether money was involved, etc... those people who are fixated on their virginity or who define themselves by it will continue to focus on it afterward, just in different ways.

it's not like it's a doorway that people cross through and everything magically changes. if you are worried and fixated and unhappy now, you will be afterward too.


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Evinceo
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06 Dec 2012, 5:36 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
some people will always find a down side, even though they finally had it happen. whether it was the age at which they lost their virginity, the "quality" of their partner ("slut", unattractive female, desperate female), the level of their performance, the type of relationship it stemmed from, whether money was involved, etc... those people who are fixated on their virginity or who define themselves by it will continue to focus on it afterward, just in different ways.

it's not like it's a doorway that people cross through and everything magically changes. if you are worried and fixated and unhappy now, you will be afterward too.


True, however for guys saying that they're a virgin is convenient shorthand for being lonely.



hyperlexian
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06 Dec 2012, 5:40 pm

Evinceo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
some people will always find a down side, even though they finally had it happen. whether it was the age at which they lost their virginity, the "quality" of their partner ("slut", unattractive female, desperate female), the level of their performance, the type of relationship it stemmed from, whether money was involved, etc... those people who are fixated on their virginity or who define themselves by it will continue to focus on it afterward, just in different ways.

it's not like it's a doorway that people cross through and everything magically changes. if you are worried and fixated and unhappy now, you will be afterward too.


True, however for guys saying that they're a virgin is convenient shorthand for being lonely.

that isn't what they are saying, though.


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MXH
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06 Dec 2012, 5:45 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Evinceo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
some people will always find a down side, even though they finally had it happen. whether it was the age at which they lost their virginity, the "quality" of their partner ("slut", unattractive female, desperate female), the level of their performance, the type of relationship it stemmed from, whether money was involved, etc... those people who are fixated on their virginity or who define themselves by it will continue to focus on it afterward, just in different ways.

it's not like it's a doorway that people cross through and everything magically changes. if you are worried and fixated and unhappy now, you will be afterward too.


True, however for guys saying that they're a virgin is convenient shorthand for being lonely.

that isn't what they are saying, though.


is it not what they say, or rather not what you hear



hyperlexian
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06 Dec 2012, 6:16 pm

MXH wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Evinceo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
some people will always find a down side, even though they finally had it happen. whether it was the age at which they lost their virginity, the "quality" of their partner ("slut", unattractive female, desperate female), the level of their performance, the type of relationship it stemmed from, whether money was involved, etc... those people who are fixated on their virginity or who define themselves by it will continue to focus on it afterward, just in different ways.

it's not like it's a doorway that people cross through and everything magically changes. if you are worried and fixated and unhappy now, you will be afterward too.


True, however for guys saying that they're a virgin is convenient shorthand for being lonely.

that isn't what they are saying, though.


is it not what they say, or rather not what you hear

i can only read what they write. if they have something else to say, then the onus is on them to say it.


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MXH
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06 Dec 2012, 6:25 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
MXH wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Evinceo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
some people will always find a down side, even though they finally had it happen. whether it was the age at which they lost their virginity, the "quality" of their partner ("slut", unattractive female, desperate female), the level of their performance, the type of relationship it stemmed from, whether money was involved, etc... those people who are fixated on their virginity or who define themselves by it will continue to focus on it afterward, just in different ways.

it's not like it's a doorway that people cross through and everything magically changes. if you are worried and fixated and unhappy now, you will be afterward too.


True, however for guys saying that they're a virgin is convenient shorthand for being lonely.

that isn't what they are saying, though.


is it not what they say, or rather not what you hear

i can only read what they write. if they have something else to say, then the onus is on them to say it.


all im saying is if theres one thing that i learned in highschool english class its that what is written on the paper is not always what it means. Language can be used in many ways (stronger or weaker) to bring the same meaning. Complaining about being virgin can come from either genuine complain at simply not having sex or as showing how unwanted and lonely they are that they are virgins



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06 Dec 2012, 8:19 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
i can only read what they write. if they have something else to say, then the onus is on them to say it.


Most of the guys who complain here about their virginity have said that the reason they are so bothered by it is because it is symbolic of how alone and unwanted they feel.



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07 Dec 2012, 4:59 am

If I had known what I know now, I wouldn't have gone through with it. I'm basically ruined.



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07 Dec 2012, 6:39 am

Stalk wrote:
If I had known what I know now, I wouldn't have gone through with it. I'm basically ruined.
ABORRRRRRRRRRT ;P


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Tequila
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07 Dec 2012, 7:21 am

mds_02 wrote:
Most of the guys who complain here about their virginity have said that the reason they are so bothered by it is because it is symbolic of how alone and unwanted they feel.


That's probably not massively far away from the truth.



J-Greens
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08 Dec 2012, 4:40 am

mds_02 wrote:
Most of the guys who complain here about their virginity have said that the reason they are so bothered by it is because it is symbolic of how alone and unwanted they feel.

BlueMax wrote:
I'd say it's good for your psyche to know that someone found you desirable enough at least once - so you're not only "worth something" but also that it can happen again.


These sums it up.
After all nobody wants to feel like the ugly duckling everyday.



nessa238
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08 Dec 2012, 7:04 am

I would advise anyone who had had sex once to assume it will happen again - this is the right mindset to have as how your mind thinks about something has a direct impact on what occurs in your life.

Also you need to like and value yourself - this will then be projected out to others who are then more likely to respond accordingly.



Pabalebo
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08 Dec 2012, 12:50 pm

Skittledeedee wrote:
I'd like to know how on earth anyone who's never had sex would know how they would act after they have. :?:


^This.



Pabalebo
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08 Dec 2012, 12:51 pm

Evinceo wrote:
I think it'd be something like "well, at least it's not impossible." Also, I'd be able to confidently navigate the next experience knowing how everything is supposed to work.

I guess what you're asking "is never having gotten laid really worse then never getting laid" and the answer is "yes."


^also, This.