What exactly constitutes "drama"?

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League_Girl
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09 Dec 2012, 2:03 pm

I think it means someone who doesn't have any issues like low self esteem, doesn't get upset over little things or take things out of proportion, someone who doesn't have anger issues or blow up at you, someone who isn't in a custody battle with their ex and dealing with their ex trying to alienate their kids from them. and the partner is fighting hard to get joint custody over them or to see them.


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BlueMax
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09 Dec 2012, 2:18 pm

ColdEyesWarmHeart wrote:
I'm awesome.

Yes you are! :D

Seriously, this description is fantastic and explains it best - right down to those personal vendettas, NEVER letting things go, plans to "get even" and never, ever forgiving even the smallest transgression.

Awful people. *sigh* ...but I suppose life would be boring without them...



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09 Dec 2012, 4:01 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
On dating sites, people say they want a partner who's drama-free.

What exactly constitutes drama?


Most couples and partners are not* drama free. At first you maybe be drama free but slowly drama creeps up. The survival of your relationship depends on how you deal with it.



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12 Dec 2012, 1:37 am

Stargazer43 wrote:
What is drama? Watch this clip, it should clear up a lot for you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30HZd6Bc0Uk[/youtube]


The women look like they're wearing the same style shirt, but a different color.



blue_bean
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12 Dec 2012, 6:51 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
On dating sites, people say they want a partner who's drama-free.

What exactly constitutes drama?


In my experience the people who usually say that are the people who are drama themselves but lack the honest self-introspection to see that they themselves are the cause of their own drama. Most drama magnets deny they're the cause I've found.

If you see that in a profile press the back button and never look again.



MCalavera
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12 Dec 2012, 6:59 am

I admit to any drama that I personally may cause, but I'm also one of the people who genuinely would prefer a relationship without much drama only because it's less stress and less headache and the last thing I would want in a potential relationship is to fight and argue every now and then when the whole point of a relationship is to share personal (happy and sad) moments with the other person and show support for each other. I have enough drama from some of the people around me that it's quite reasonable to want to seek someone who's drama-free.



DialAForAwesome
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12 Dec 2012, 8:34 am

Aharon wrote:
People who say that, in my experience, usually are drama factories. They incite chaos and then complain about it.


How weird. I didn't see this thread until now, but I posted a status update on my FB page about this very subject. It is almost universally true that people that say they don't want drama are the ones that really do want it.


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MCalavera
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12 Dec 2012, 8:36 am

DialAForAwesome wrote:
Aharon wrote:
People who say that, in my experience, usually are drama factories. They incite chaos and then complain about it.


How weird. I didn't see this thread until now, but I posted a status update on my FB page about this very subject. It is almost universally true that people that say they don't want drama are the ones that really do want it.


How "almost universally true"?

So to get this straight, it's wrong/narcissistic to not want drama? And that you are more likely not to be a narcissist if you don't mind drama?

Come on, that doesn't sound right at all.



DialAForAwesome
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12 Dec 2012, 9:00 am

It's from my experce. If you have different experiences somehow, share them instead of dissecting my posts.


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MCalavera
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12 Dec 2012, 9:09 am

Share what exactly? It's probably 50/50 in my experience. Never really did count.

But you did say "almost universally true" suggesting that you speaking in an almost absolute manner if that makes sense.

Also, out of curiosity, do you prefer drama in your relationship rather than peace and harmony?

Just trying to make sense out of this, that's all.



aspiesandra27
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12 Dec 2012, 3:10 pm

I think Ai Ling was spot on.

I don't even think of drama free situations in a relationship. I think that's like saying I just want someone who is happy all the time. What constitutes drama for one individual, may not be the same for another. It *is* how you deal with potentially dramatic situations, that counts. I was once called a drama queen, because I refused to go out with my partner to social gatherings. WTF?



Kjas
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12 Dec 2012, 8:27 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
On dating sites, people say they want a partner who's drama-free.

What exactly constitutes drama?


For me, it would be anyone who is living out of fear and is insecure.

Anyone who does that or is doing that is inviting drama into their live with open arms practically. It's also the way that most people live.

When you have a small misunderstanding, it generally can go two ways:

1) You trust your partner and your connection with them - therefore you know that this is simply a small misunderstanding, that your partner never intended to hurt you, so you be loving open honest direct and calm and address everything from a place of trust and respect. This way the small misunderstanding is solved, it was easy and never evovles into anything bigger - both of you put it behind you there and then.

2) You're too busy operating from fear, insecurity or ego so you take the small misunderstanding as "they hurt me, now I'm going to hurt them back". Rather than staying open, you close off. When they attempt to solve the issue, you start the blame game or start arguing, justifying , defending or denying everything. It blows up and turns into sopmething much, much bigger than it ever needed to be.

Most people choose the second way to deal with issues - the second way is the way that tends to cause drama.


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BlueMax
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12 Dec 2012, 8:34 pm

Kjas wrote:
2) You're too busy operating from fear, insecurity or ego so you take the small misunderstanding as "they hurt me, now I'm going to hurt them back". Rather than staying open, you close off. When they attempt to solve the issue, you start the blame game or start arguing, justifying , defending or denying everything. It blows up and turns into something much, much bigger than it ever needed to be.

Most people choose the second way to deal with issues - the second way is the way that tends to cause drama.


EXACTLY! You even see it here on WP, where insults get hurled around, vendettas start up and the hugest of reactions stem from the smallest of contrary opinions.

Drama, drama, drama... ignore something you don't like and move on, rather than badger that user until they leave WP in frustration.



MCalavera
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12 Dec 2012, 9:37 pm

Drama is when something is done that is attention-seeking and that provokes people.

Small conflicts/misunderstanding is NOT == drama. They're only considered drama when both sides together don't end up resolving the issue in a relatively short time and only make it worse.

It is easy to avoid drama. As long as both sides are sane enough to live in peace and harmony together. But if you happen to be a drama king/queen, then I can see why you would not want someone who wants drama-free relationship.