There's a very distinct difference between someone who is merely narcissistic and someone who has degrees of anti-social-personality-disorder (ASPD). A person who is a socio/psychopath is probably going to have a degree of narcism, but a narcissist is not generally a socio/psychopath.
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The psychopath is dangerous from a different perspective as they may kill to get what they want. The other two will just torture you emotionally just because they can. It seems as if Narcissists have very fragile egos. Sociopaths are known masters of social skills and manipulation and use this to get what they want and I think could potentially have someone like me put in prision based off a lie. The sociopath makes the hard work look so easy. The Narcissists are all about ego boosting and hate to be proven wrong, and the sociopath is the one that cannot be proven wrong.
Not quite true. A socio/psychopath is not always out to torture, hurt or kill. They may in the course of their life, but it's not their goal. The animal thing? Overblown.
To the person with ASPD, life is a game and there are rules. They recognize the rules of society, how society functions within the framework of the rules, and enjoy gaming the system.
In polite company, you'll encounter someone with a serious pedigree of ASPD 1-3%, in various locations (aka ghetto) that can rise to 10%. It does seem to run in the family, and it does appear that the environment helps "refine" it.
In jail, 25-30% of the folks there are going to have ASPD. In prison, that number will climb upwards of 60%. However, pretty much everyone that winds up in prison will have first hand experience with someone with ASPD (not simply because of their time in the system). Why? Because the person with ASPD will have demonstrated what is possible, what rules can be bent, and when the rules are bent, how much better/easier life is, and the 'normal' person was simply along for the ride, and the 'normal' can just be the one holding the bag.
A good (easy) read on the subject is "The Sociopath Next Door" which can describe the situations and traits by which a person with ASPD can be identified.
If you suspect someone you're with has ASPD, drop them. Don't try to diagnose, don't try to see if it's true or if you can make it better, just drop them. Why? Because it's a game, it's all a game. You're merely a piece for their enjoyment/enrichment and when the fun/interest wears off, you're dropped at best or used at worst. They have many acquaintances but few they'd call friends even in their 20-30's.
In business or the service, someone with ASPD can get ahead, and indeed, many of the traits are actually looked at as positive qualities.
E.g. In business or the military, the ability to treat people as disposable resources is a plus, you simply weigh the merits of the goal and dedicate what you need to achieve it. If the goal isn't achieved, shrug and move on ignoring the "people" cost.
They are charming, considered intelligent (street, book or emotionally) and able to get along in a variety of situations - because they recognize the rules by which the games are played.
Strangely, they don't find others of their ilk inhospitable, and in fact get along pretty well - as long as the set of predetermined rules are adhered to. Cross them though, and it's in fact 'game on'.
E.g. In jail/prison where there is a 'bunk' system, one side is yours and the other belongs to the other guy. When you get in, when you get out, you use your side (your "yard" if I remember the terminology correctly) and before you enter someone's "yard", you knock. And you never sit on a man's bunk when visiting except with explicit permission.
They can easily recognize weakness, play on people by their actions and trigger them using words or inflection. It seriously comes easy to them and they have fun practicing on each other. It can be called "punk'ng" or merely pushing each and everyone's limits.
E.g. In certain areas, you constantly push the younger wanna-be's or recruits to harsher and harsher levels. This may include marches, cleaning, standing at attention for hours, etc. Because you simply want to see what is too much -- for grins and giggles.
The reason why they wind up in trouble? Like I said and continue to say - it's all a game and eventually they push too hard and get caught up in something a little too much for them. Something they can't explain their way out (or blame someone else for).
Are they narcissists? I've not met one that didn't think they were the ____ (insert positive affirmation) at something. Regardless of where they were at.
Now, take this with a grain of salt, but I've met more of these types of people than most happen to in a lifetime. I have found them in the military, business and of course on the bad side of town. Get a bit of respect and you'll survive and in fact you/they may enjoy each others company -- if you know how to play the game, but for most it's very risky and you'll simply wind up to used.
Ultimately, they are the wolves of society, with the ability to create packs around them (devotees), and the worst are those that pretty much shun much of what society has to offer.
E.g. I knew one guy, 300+ lbs, ran with the 'skins' and was doing his 8-9th time in jail for something. He was telling me that when he was in prison, he was near death row in California. He said that when you look into the eyes of someone like Manson (when they walk by, you're supposed to look down, never "at" those guys) the eyes are a dead give away. Never had a chance to continue the conversation, as he went back into prison for a few years afterwards.
Anyhow, a narcissist is someone that loves themselves, think they're "all that" and ultimately is in it for their own enjoyment. This doesn't mean they can't love, nor can't find meaning in a relationship, it's simply difficult for them to rationally put someone else's needs before their own. Selfish? Absolutely, but when they want something for themselves, they can be very charming. But once the benefit to the "self" wears off, you can be discarded and left wondering what happened.
17 Dec 2012, 8:44 pm
