It's impossible for me to date, ever

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MR20
Stop crying!
Go the gym and get your six-pack. If you have no money for the gym then do it in your room. The same for push ups etc. It will make you feel better.
Do some running outside and sweat. It will make you feel better.
Follow the evening classes and get a diploma. If you don't want to go to a school then study in your room. A diploma will make you feel better.
Hire a funny movie, let say "Ted". You will laugh and that will make you feel better.
Etc etc.

And stop watching porn. It is fake and will not make you feel better.

Just an advice

There's tons you can do.

It's really not that hard to have good hygiene. Shower once a day, wash everything with soap, use deodorant. If that's not controlling the smell, see a medical doctor.

Keeping your room clean will also do a lot.

If your upset you don't know anything except video games and anime, put down the controller and pick up a book.

Turn off the anime and put on Discovery Channel.

Basically if your not willing to try to do things to change, your gonna be miserable.

I think you people are expecting too much from me.

For starters, I'm black and I come from a very poor background. My mother is a schizophrenic, (she had a breakdown right before I was born) and she's been in the state hospital ever since. My dad, from what I've been told, was a crackhead and had several big mental problems as well.

Most of my relatives are mentally unhinged, on drugs, poor, and/or in jail. VERY few have graduated from HS let alone even went to college.

You see I have really bad genes. I was predestined to be this way. I was never really supposed to be anything. I'm probably worse off than most in my family and that's saying something.

I can't be anything better because I'm not capable.

Jeez, man... what do you want? Our permission for you to give up and be a waste of human life?

Plenty of people have been born from worse places/stock and made something of themselves. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.

Get busy and improve - or get used to your life exactly as it is.

Why are you bringing your race into it?

Soap cleans black skin just as easily as it cleans white skin. Deodorant works on any race. You obviously have a place to live that is safe, you are getting access to video games and internet and not working so your grandma obviously isn't too poor.

What's stopping you now?

You say we are expecting to much from you, I disagree. No one here is saying you have to change tomorrow, but it sounds like your not willing to make even the smallest of changes.

For the last time, and this is all I have to give you. Deep down inside you know that you have a lot to offer yourself. You allow your mind to take control of who you are. Connect with your inner being and allow yourself to experience who you really are. Your parents being a certain way doesn't have to mean anything about who you are in this moment or in the future.

I'm sorry about your family situation, but you have to assess what you want for yourself. Your mother is a schizophrenic and wasn't able to control who she really was. Does that mean you have to allow something to control you? Your father allowed drugs to control his mind. Do you want your fathers pain to reflect on who you are? Your relatives situation is simlar to your fathers, so the same thought on your father applies here. It's not bad genes at all. You were not predestined for anything. You control your destiny, noone else does. You are capable of being something better, but your mind refuses to allow yourself to see this. I want you to feel free. Everyone here does. That is why we are offering advice. Free yourself from the world your mind created for you.

I use my SSI to pay for most of that stuff, as well as food and bills.

I do not believe you.

Being illiterate means not being able to read or write. If you were borderline illiterate, you would have written your sentence like this:

"so basicly i larnd nofin and is bordrlin ilititit"

but you didn't. You have an excellent vocabulary, you capitalise the beginning of sentences and use correct punctuation, and you even know how to spell "schizophrenic," a word I always balk at.

Also, if you genuinely knew nothing about politics, literature, science, math, history, art, religion, and philosophy, you would not even know what those concepts were. But you do. You listed them. A lot of genuinely uneducated people do not know what philosophy is. But you, apparently, do. And you also know what fractions and times tables are, despite claiming to barely be able to do them.

You are in a far better position than the vast majority of the world's poor. In places such as Africa or India, many people cannot even read or write. You can.

If it really upsets you so much that you don't know politics, literature, science, math, history, art, religion, and philosophy, why don't you learn them? You can obviously use the Internet, because you're on here typing these posts, so why don't you educate yourself? Not all education has to be obtained from an official educational institution. Many people (including myself) enjoy learning just for the sheer pleasure of it. It is never too late to learn. Knowledge is free. Why don't you pick one of those subjects on your list and go and learn about it?

I'm struggling not to let go with both barrels here. I think it's probably best if I abstain from further comment.

Why are people being so mean to me. I only posted this because I wanted to vent and get some sympathy. You people are all like the meanies my grandma warned me about.

I experienced it in school, in adult life, and now here. My grandma told not to trust most people in fear of ridicule, being used and made fun of.

She's always been right about that. Maybe being a hermit is not so bad after all.

The person who is really the meanest to you is none other than MR20. MR20 holds you back. He puts you down. He kills your self esteem. He thinks you are a loser and is determined that is all you are going to be in life. He seems to be very successful with this self-assassination.

That. Right there.

Why won't people feel sorry for me?

I'm a ugly, poor, slow, stupid, uneducated, smelly, poor, ignorant, unattractive, repulsive, depressed, lonely, uninteresting bum that can't do anything right.

I came here so people can cheer me up and give me pity, but it seems you people treat me the same as other mean people did in the past.

I just want to feel happy for once.

Over and over and over... You've had your vent and lots of people in MANY previous threads have been nothing but supportive.

In return, you flushed all of their gifts of sympathy, help, advice and concern down the toilet - then cry some more because you're not getting even MORE support. Heck, you had someone offer to help you IN PERSON and you still turned her down then whined about it!

People ARE trying to help! I hope this gets through your thick head - when you invalidate other people's support, you insult them! When you insult people, they don't want to support you any more. Alienate everyone, you end up alone. Nobody's being "mean" - they're trying to shake you out of your stupor and make you come to your senses!

YOU are the cause of many of your problems. YOU need to be the one to fix them. Nobody else can or will!

If someone said those things to me I'd punch him in the eye. You take all that crap... FROM YOURSELF! You are your own worst enemy. Until you acknowledge that fact and move on from there your life will be miserable... because it is all you think you are fit for.

Anyway, I'm not posting in this thread again. I can only cope with small amounts of your whining self-pity before I feel nauseas.

Some Buddhist.