Gawd why.....

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Yuzu
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29 Dec 2012, 2:39 am

Magnus_Rex wrote:

But he answered her first question sarcastically and she proceeded to ask him if he believed in half-half (which would justify my reply). I still do not see why he could not have answered it directly.

Note to self: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM RELATIONSHIPS! IT'S A TRAP!!

Or maybe people are too paranoid about "traps" to say what is on their minds.

Hey you're supposed to make what you really want to say bigger not smaller.

I've always felt that the one who invited should pay too and I've done that before.
But everyone I asked (4~5 people) straight men & women, and even a gay man said I shouldn't have paid.
It made me feel like I was the wrong one.

BlueMax
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29 Dec 2012, 3:17 am

blue_bean wrote:

Surely there was a better way to handle that other than jumping on the angry defensive.

He didn't jump there right away... she really pressed the issue, refusing to let it go until he finally lost his cool.
Obviously it was really important to her...

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2012, 4:23 am

Who_Am_I wrote:

What I would have got out of that is that you're a grumpy so-and-so who can't give a straight answer to a question.

because the question itself (with the half half explanation)was offensive and I did give her a full answer, read my thread well before posting nonsense.

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2012, 4:29 am

Magnus_Rex wrote:

It would be totally fine if she only asked about half half but she linked that to generosity - besides, I did pay for ALL the previous dates with her and never complained about it, seriously ... thinking about that again in the morning makes me realize what a jerk question it was.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 29 Dec 2012, 4:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2012, 4:40 am

EMTkid wrote:

I see nothing wrong with the question. As for the idea that time is the only way to know things, I see no point in sticking around long enough to find out if a person has undesirable traits if you can simply ask early in the relationship. Why would you want to be in a relationship for six months only to find out your boy/girlfriend is stingy/lazy/psychotic/hates kids or whatever it is you can't handle in a person. Sounds like a huge waste of time to me. And if someone is intolerant of the questions themselves, they certainly will be intolerant of dealing with me in the future...

Do you think a lazy or psycho man will admit it if asked directly? or that he's even aware of this trait?

"Are you paycho?"

"Oh yes, I am!! I have an axe under my pillow too!"

This is a very childsih and unreliable way to get info"

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2012, 12:19 pm

Kjas wrote:

Interesting.

I asked something similar to the last guy I was seeing on the first date. We had paid seperately of course.
The reason I asked was due to the cultural differences.
We live in a country that isn't our own, but both of us come from different places.
I was trying to figure out whether he wanted to follow said country we were in's rules, his countries rules, or my countries rules.
All very confusing, because what is normal in one is downright insulting in another, and vice versa.
And being aspie, I suck at social rules at the best of times, so I thought it best to ask for clarifcation, rather than risk insulting him.

It did not even cross my mind that me being aspie and seeking clarification of social protocol could be taken from his point of view as a sh*t test.

So Boo, I'm curious, because I know you live in Lebanon and that there is a sort of dual culture there.
Are the two cultures all that different on this one point? Did she actually have a valid reason to seek clarification?
It would amuse me greatly if in the end, after all of your adventures, you ended up with an aspie chick. Oh the irony! :lol:

.

I don't think seeking clarification was her intention.

Some people do half half, some don't; but the vast majority throws anything financial on the man's part.

hyperlexian
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29 Dec 2012, 12:46 pm

Boo, there is a right answer to the question. i think you figured it out, but you didn't really take a stand. she sounds like she wants to be cared for financially or she would not ask that question (putting aside my judgement of that aspect of her personality, *sigh*, moving on...)

if you want to bestow lavish gifts upon her when you are getting serious, then the right answer is yes. if not, then the right answer to her question is no. if you said no, you would be a fundamental mismatch. she would move on to another man who would do that for her. problem solved, you dodged a bullet that another man may take willingly.

what you have done instead of answering is stall her out, but why?

EDIT: i should add that maybe she doesn't want to have expensive prezzies later on, and perhaps she is trying to filter out men who are likely to act like that. or like Kjas said, it could be a cultural/social question. but regardless, Boo can still answer the same way and get the same result - filtering out a non-match, or conversely keeping a good match.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2012, 1:47 pm

Quote:

what you have done instead of answering is stall her out, but why?

because as you said, I figured it out.

The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Dec 2012, 6:10 pm

Quote:

what you have done instead of answering is stall her out

She's trying to ask me out again though; duh....

Stalk
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29 Dec 2012, 6:36 pm

figures, because a woman that wasn't interested would have bailed quite early.

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29 Dec 2012, 8:45 pm

Stalk wrote:

figures, because a woman that wasn't interested would have bailed quite early.

Beware of the stranger who expresses too much interest...

EMTkid
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30 Dec 2012, 6:12 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

EMTkid wrote:

Yeah, because we're all so great at reading people... Besides, my ex-husband told me up front he was a psycho. Should have listened...

Shau
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10 Feb 2013, 5:28 am

My answer to that question would have been "I'm generous to people that deserve it."

BlueMax
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10 Feb 2013, 3:05 pm

Shau wrote:

My answer to that question would have been "I'm generous to people that deserve it."

Then comes the response... "Ohhh, don't I deserve it? tee-hee" (bats eyes and pouts)

[long, dramatic pause before..]

Shau
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10 Feb 2013, 4:27 pm

BlueMax wrote:

Shau wrote:

My answer to that question would have been "I'm generous to people that deserve it."

Then comes the response... "Ohhh, don't I deserve it? tee-hee" (bats eyes and pouts)

If you have to ask, probably not.

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