young single women just don't like me.

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billiscool
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30 Dec 2012, 2:09 pm

Janissy wrote:
billiscool wrote:
fluffypinkyellow wrote:
What do you mean by "don't like" you? Your post sounds more like they're simply more reserved around you. This isn't necessarily a bad thing.

It may not be anything personal about you in particular. A lot of young single women tend to be cautious around strange men out of necessity. Your motives may be pure, but they don't know that yet and it is in their best interests to err on the side of caution. 1 in 3 women have experienced sexual assault. There are a lot of sleazy men who make gross comments. It's a daily reality for a woman. Women are living in a world where sexual assault is an ever-present risk. As a man, it's a lot harder to see that.

So if a young woman seems reserved or unsure around you, I would advise you to keep conversation light and casual, and if she starts to appear particularly uncomfortable (trying to walk away from you or giving several one-word answers in a row) then leave her alone.


Im glad you said them things. Ok first if a man going to sexual assault a woman he is going to do it, no matter if she talks to him or not.
some reason women think if they just ignore or don't say hi to a guy that going to stop him from attacking them

plus alot of men, who do attack women are not creepy looking guys either. some are very charming and can get a women to trust them and then they attack.

guess women think if they don't say hi they will somehow prevent a guy from attacking them.


Back when I was in my 20's I used to do the same avoidant thing with the ocassional man so I can explain the rationale and hopefully you may be able to mitigate it.

From my point of view back then (and quite possibly these young women too), the goal was Stay Off His Radar. Now and then I would come across a man who gave me the feeling that if I made myself memorable to him in any slight way, even by so little a thing as light conversation, he would focus on me in a negative way which could lead to stalking or even assault. So I avoided any interaction with him so as to Stay Off Hisd Radar and be unmemorable and therefore unworthy of stalking or worse. Now I don't worry about this at all because the stalker types seem to not fixate on older and/or married women. I have entered the demographic that is happy to talk to you (and to the men I would have avoided 20 years ago).

If you are being uniformly avoided by single women in their 20's, you are probably giving off this vibe. In order to stop giving off this vibe, you need to be seen as the sort of man who is not given to fixations with other people. You need to be seen talking relaxedly with lots of different people and preferably to visibly have friends. I realize that this is almost the exact opposite of what comes naturally to an Aspie, but from your posts, I think you are giving off this vibe.

You said that you talk easily with older/married women and with men and they are happy to get in conversations with you. Use that fact to demonstrate your harmlessness to single women in their 20's. If they see you easily talking to older/married women and to men, they will be more inclined to talk to you themselves. The men I avoided so much as saying hi to when I was in my 20's were all absolute loners who I did not see talking to anyone else. That was a major thing that disturbed me. So you need to be seen talking to other people before attempting a conversation with a single 20's woman. The women in their 20's need to see that before they will be confident you are harmless.


I don't think anyone women think Im stalker, but I have no idea if they do or not. and don't really care if they Im a stalker or not, if they do, well then they are just not for me then. Now let see if you can solve this out, ok here it is.. older women like to talk, the married women like to talk, the men like to talk, then you have the younger women (under 35) .............,

now, Im not saying every older women and men get along with me. But they do put more on the table. when I have a bbq and Im not the best at throwing bbq, the older women they bring the meat, the men they bring the beer, the married women they bring the fruits, and now younger women, well they don't bring nothing to the bbq, they want me to plan and cook everything.
you know, eccentric autism men like myself sometimes need a little help from the other. But when one side ain't put in no effort.
then,well no friendship will ever happen. Unless they like hearing me talk. figure it out. That what I think it is.



Janissy
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30 Dec 2012, 2:31 pm

billiscool wrote:
I don't think anyone women think Im stalker, but I have no idea if they do or not. and don't really care if they Im a stalker or not, if they do, well then they are just not for me then. Now let see if you can solve this out, ok here it is.. older women like to talk, the married women like to talk, the men like to talk, then you have the younger women (under 35) .............,

now, Im not saying every older women and men get along with me. But they do put more on the table. when I have a bbq and Im not the best at throwing bbq, the older women they bring the meat, the men they bring the beer, the married women they bring the fruits, and now younger women, well they don't bring nothing to the bbq, they want me to plan and cook everything.
you know, eccentric autism men like myself sometimes need a little help from the other. But when one side ain't put in no effort.
then,well no friendship will ever happen. Unless they like hearing me talk. figure it out. That what I think it is.


Ok it sounds like CrazyStarlightRedux is right and they simply aren't interested in you. If you put out a scary vibe, no one would come to your house for a bbq. That was a literal bbq and not just a metaphor, right? If literal, then you are already being seen talking to older women/married women and men and it didn't help. The one thing that the people who talk to you all have in common is that there is no relationship potential. The only people avoiding talking to you are the ones who could potentially get in a relationship with you. And they are going out of their way to make sure that there is not even the slightest possibility of that.

The only thing I can think of at this point is that the only people who can reaklly analyze this situation are the ones who know you personally. Many women my age are "fixer-uppers", trying to help other people get relationships sorted. I should know. I'm doing it right now. But the only ones who can really be effective at this point are the ones who know you personally. So maybe ask one of those older women who brings food to your bbq for some tips. They can see things that can't be conveyed on an internet forum.



BlueAbyss
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30 Dec 2012, 2:34 pm

I've noticed in recent years that a lot of young women seem to not get the idea that they can be friends with men.

My husband has always gotten along better with women than men, to a great degree, and he's had a lot of female friends through the years.

But younger women now tend to get the mistaken idea that he's coming on to them. It's kind of disheartening. All those young women are missing out on some great friendships.

Who knows where they get this - maybe from TV and films or something, which seem to focus so much on sex and romance and very little, it seems to me, on friendship.



Tequila
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30 Dec 2012, 2:36 pm

Janissy wrote:
That was a literal bbq and not just a metaphor, right?


Spit roast! :lol: :lol:

What about older women, billiscool? Have you thought about that instead?



Janissy
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30 Dec 2012, 2:52 pm

BlueAbyss wrote:
I've noticed in recent years that a lot of young women seem to not get the idea that they can be friends with men.

My husband has always gotten along better with women than men, to a great degree, and he's had a lot of female friends through the years.

But younger women now tend to get the mistaken idea that he's coming on to them. It's kind of disheartening. All those young women are missing out on some great friendships.

Who knows where they get this - maybe from TV and films or something, which seem to focus so much on sex and romance and very little, it seems to me, on friendship.


But there is so much complaining about "the Friendzone" that I think many young women really are comfortable being friends with men. There have been many threads about "friendzone" here and I've heard about it elsewhere too. So if billiscool can't get into the "friendzone" even, then there is something else going on.



1000Knives
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30 Dec 2012, 3:01 pm

Janissy wrote:
BlueAbyss wrote:
I've noticed in recent years that a lot of young women seem to not get the idea that they can be friends with men.

My husband has always gotten along better with women than men, to a great degree, and he's had a lot of female friends through the years.

But younger women now tend to get the mistaken idea that he's coming on to them. It's kind of disheartening. All those young women are missing out on some great friendships.

Who knows where they get this - maybe from TV and films or something, which seem to focus so much on sex and romance and very little, it seems to me, on friendship.


But there is so much complaining about "the Friendzone" that I think many young women really are comfortable being friends with men. There have been many threads about "friendzone" here and I've heard about it elsewhere too. So if billiscool can't get into the "friendzone" even, then there is something else going on.


Yep, being super duper autistic and having zero empathy and being weird. I can't get into the "friendzone" either, because I'm apparently a jackass.



BlueAbyss
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30 Dec 2012, 3:07 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Janissy wrote:
BlueAbyss wrote:
I've noticed in recent years that a lot of young women seem to not get the idea that they can be friends with men.

My husband has always gotten along better with women than men, to a great degree, and he's had a lot of female friends through the years.

But younger women now tend to get the mistaken idea that he's coming on to them. It's kind of disheartening. All those young women are missing out on some great friendships.

Who knows where they get this - maybe from TV and films or something, which seem to focus so much on sex and romance and very little, it seems to me, on friendship.


But there is so much complaining about "the Friendzone" that I think many young women really are comfortable being friends with men. There have been many threads about "friendzone" here and I've heard about it elsewhere too. So if billiscool can't get into the "friendzone" even, then there is something else going on.


Yep, being super duper autistic and having zero empathy and being weird. I can't get into the "friendzone" either, because I'm apparently a jackass.

Those are the very men I was mostly likely to be buddies with as a young woman - even now, come to that. I was always a sucker for the unusual and eccentric. :)



1000Knives
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30 Dec 2012, 3:10 pm

BlueAbyss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Janissy wrote:
BlueAbyss wrote:
I've noticed in recent years that a lot of young women seem to not get the idea that they can be friends with men.

My husband has always gotten along better with women than men, to a great degree, and he's had a lot of female friends through the years.

But younger women now tend to get the mistaken idea that he's coming on to them. It's kind of disheartening. All those young women are missing out on some great friendships.

Who knows where they get this - maybe from TV and films or something, which seem to focus so much on sex and romance and very little, it seems to me, on friendship.


But there is so much complaining about "the Friendzone" that I think many young women really are comfortable being friends with men. There have been many threads about "friendzone" here and I've heard about it elsewhere too. So if billiscool can't get into the "friendzone" even, then there is something else going on.


Yep, being super duper autistic and having zero empathy and being weird. I can't get into the "friendzone" either, because I'm apparently a jackass.

Those are the very men I was mostly likely to be buddies with as a young woman - even now, come to that. I was always a sucker for the unusual and eccentric. :)


Not when your social skills are on the level of Chris-chan...



billiscool
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30 Dec 2012, 3:10 pm

Janissy wrote:
BlueAbyss wrote:
I've noticed in recent years that a lot of young women seem to not get the idea that they can be friends with men.

My husband has always gotten along better with women than men, to a great degree, and he's had a lot of female friends through the years.

But younger women now tend to get the mistaken idea that he's coming on to them. It's kind of disheartening. All those young women are missing out on some great friendships.

Who knows where they get this - maybe from TV and films or something, which seem to focus so much on sex and romance and very little, it seems to me, on friendship.


But there is so much complaining about "the Friendzone" that I think many young women really are comfortable being friends with men. There have been many threads about "friendzone" here and I've heard about it elsewhere too. So if billiscool can't get into the "friendzone" even, then there is something else going on.


yeah, I know. I guess young women just don't like me. No one has to like me ( I know about the whole entitlement thing I hear all the time) but it would be nice if at least one young,single female would like to do something with me. There is no way my ex gf is the ony under 35, non-married woman that ever want to hang out with me. There has to be at least another one out there. I know many young women hate me for dumb reason, they can't all be part of the same club or are they?

Maybe Im the one with the problem. Perhaps I do come across as being a stalker but that don't explain why older women,young married women have no problem with me. a while back I talk to some 21 year old married woman and she has no problem with me.
But when I talk to young,single women they just don't like me. Or perhaps that why they are single, maybe young single women are just more cranky and paranoid about every guy who talk to them and maybe that why they are single. Older women, and married young women are just more nice and mature, and not parnoid about every guy who talk to them.



billiscool
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30 Dec 2012, 3:15 pm

Tequila wrote:
Janissy wrote:
That was a literal bbq and not just a metaphor, right?


Spit roast! :lol: :lol:

What about older women, billiscool? Have you thought about that instead?


ha,ha yeah you remind of this older woman at my work. She is always talking to me. A while back she want me to go on vacation with her (I knew her for a couple weeks) and she has invited me to her house. she not bad looking, but I would never date her.
when she talks to me, she always get like 2 inches from my face.



MXH
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30 Dec 2012, 3:35 pm

well, what do you have or have done for them to like you



billiscool
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30 Dec 2012, 3:41 pm

MXH wrote:
well, what do you have or have done for them to like you


Im awesome and cool. and have good abs too. and tough, Im a jiu jitsu guy. and has done karate and litte boxing here and there.
and Im fast too.



1000Knives
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30 Dec 2012, 3:46 pm

billiscool wrote:
MXH wrote:
well, what do you have or have done for them to like you


Im awesome and cool. and have good abs too. and tough, Im a jiu jitsu guy. and has done karate and litte boxing here and there.
and Im fast too.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iui94VWFhnA[/youtube]

But can you do that?!



MXH
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30 Dec 2012, 3:54 pm

billiscool wrote:
MXH wrote:
well, what do you have or have done for them to like you


Im awesome and cool. and have good abs too. and tough, Im a jiu jitsu guy. and has done karate and litte boxing here and there.
and Im fast too.


well, does it seem to be working?



1000Knives
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30 Dec 2012, 3:59 pm

MXH wrote:
billiscool wrote:
MXH wrote:
well, what do you have or have done for them to like you


Im awesome and cool. and have good abs too. and tough, Im a jiu jitsu guy. and has done karate and litte boxing here and there.
and Im fast too.


well, does it seem to be working?

Image
Image



billiscool
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30 Dec 2012, 4:15 pm

speaking of bbq. Im at the bbq and go to the older woman and say ''say, you like the bbq chicken'' the older woman just opens up
and goes on and on about the chicken.
I go to the married woman and say ''about them corn'' and the married woman goes '''boy, I sure like them corn'' and on and on
I go to the man and say ''I don't know about them burgers'' and the man goes ''boy, you tell me sir, them burger they ain't right'' and on and on
I go to the young single women and go ''how are you doing'' and the young women goes 'good'' and I go ''this bbq sauce, it don't taste good''
and the young women just blanks out and just whirls away.

and at the end of bbq, I got a surpise party. all the men are there, the married women are there, and the older women are there.
they all get me the present and they buy me the cake. But no young single women are at the surpise party.

that just what it is