are we aspie men bad with women or are women bad with us

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You don't dress in-style
Your shoes are ugly
You don't read Cosmo magazine
You don't talk about things women are interested in
You're too nice and don't have a badboy edge to you

Perhaps with married women you don't feel any pressure and you are much more relaxed.That's a pretty broad generalization ''young,single women just don't like me'' and it likely isn't true.Talking with a married woman for the most part isn't a possible romantic encounter[though I am sure it has obviously led to one for some people].Your perceived failure with single women may just be your approach or the anxiety you are bringing to the encounter.

I think that is quite common in regards to older women .Older women don't receive as much attention from men [in general] as younger women do.If all you are doing is saying one line then I would guess you have happened to encounter a chatty older woman .I don't mean to play devil's advocate to your arguments but it is quite a common experience with men with AS who are not naturally skilled in romantic encounters.

I think Aspie men can sometimes be bad with women & women can sometimes be bad with Aspie men because women & Aspie men can be very different sometimes. Men & women are generalized to have lots of differences & Aspergers is thought by some to a more extreme male brain so that would make Aspie guys more different than NT women. Being different does NOT mean that Aspie men are bad or that NT women(or women in general) are bad but rather incompatible. I know from my personal experience that I'm horrible at getting dates with NT women & have problems getting along with them sometimes partly because they are not straightforward & direct enough & we don't relate with lots of things. However my 1st gf had ADHD, dyslexia & OCD, my 2nd was an Aspie who I met here on this site, & my current one(who I also met on here) has some Aspie traits & she might be an Aspie but we're not sure; I think Aspie guys can be good with the right women

This is very true. There are plenty of woman who are understanding and even find aspie traits desirable. It's just a matter of finding them and being willing to weather a lot of rejection along the way. Most Aspies aren't willing to put themselves through that.

yep. i haven't ever met a single man or woman who fit the exact criteria for the male or female stereotype, so it doesn't really make sense to create an "us" and "them" mentality.

i act the same around married women as I do with single women. The only difference is the married women are more open and more willing to talk, no matter how dumb I act. which Is probaly the reason why some of these young women are single, because they put in no effort in talking to guys. there is a good reason why the women get along with me are married because they are fun, they know how to have fun, they don't freak out over a guy who talks about ''adam sandler''. women are single because they have terrible social skills and reject any man who comes along.

There is some truth in this but an intelligent Aspie can minimize the amount of rejection by acknowledging his/her strengths and weaknesses. I hate to generalize but for example,when I used to go out to the bars ,it should have dawned on me that the majority of women who frequent bars regularly were not likely going to be attracted to my quiet,shy personality.I wasn't putting myself in a location where I could shine.

I think it is a bit of both. Asperger men often suck with women, but they suck at responding well to us too. No one's fault, but it is the way the cookie crumbles.

I think its just your imagination making views of women, rejecting "any man" as you say. Someone i previous comments said girls are not being direct enough and they want to play "the game", but guess what-I'm a NT, and I prefer the guy to be straightforward with me, whatever the issue (be it inviting me for a date or dumping me). And its the Aspie that I felt hard for, preferred this "being mysterious" game - he didn't ask my phone number when we met though it was obvious he liked me (got it from our mutual friend), I never knew where I stand in our "relationship"(whether he wants me as his gf or are we just casual), until he finally started ignoring me right after I asked him directly about that after several months of guessing. So don't tell me about terrible social skills of NT women.
Another thing is that many people know nothing about Aspergers, so yes, some women know nothing about that too and that might be the reason they don't want to talk to a guy which acts odd in comparison with what they usually see.
Or they have bad experience with Aspie-NT relationships like I did - when the Aspie party seems to accept your attention and affection, but is very reserved in showing his - and they don't believe Aspie can make a good partner, so they choose to push any of them away.

I've had some luck at bars actually. Keep an eye out for the shy akward girls that look out of place. Typically they are in the same boat.

Nah,it will never happen for me at a bar.I have pretty strong sensory issues being around a crowd of people with loud music .I am like a spooked deer in that kind of environment.

LOL i had this girl flirting with me other night, turned to her to dance and walked off halfway through cos of nerves...
didn't even realise what a douche move that was till today, AS guys ... awesome.

It's not like it's easy to find them. Of all the years this site has existed someone should have sifted through the data and built a profile of the type of NT woman (or man) who likes aspies.

I'm sure, if research were done, it would be possible to identify 3 or 4 "types" (similar to the 4 types of autistics) of women who like aspies. I have no idea what these characteristics would be. So it's mostly a matter of blind firing and chance (I've definitely done lots of firing and sleeping around that led to naught as far as long-term relationships). And that is where the problem lies: no guidance. And given social anxiety and sensory issues, it's not like most aspies have a surplus of social energy.

So a guide of some sort would be quite quite useful.

I think aspies and women dont fit very well, but its nobodies fault. Maybe you already have read, but for many aspie women it is much easier having male friends then typical female friends, because many of the typical aspie habbits just dont fit with "normal" women. So with my male friends when we meet, its about doing something. So we meet to to play xyz or to visit an event or whatever, but we barely just sit hours around to talk how we are feeling about this and that or what we are thinking of this person and so on. So when i am forced to waste time in typical female gatherings its just so terrible boring for me, and i am no professional actor, so normally people recognize sooner or later that i am absolutely not interested in any of their talk, which includes what they are thinking and so on.... Normally, for NT people, this means that you are not interested in themselfs, so they may recognize that you try to fake it to be polite to them, but still it seems to them, that you are not interested in them if you dont like that gossip and small talk.

I wouldnt be whondering, if it was the same with aspie men, that it just seems to "normal" women that you have no real interest in meeting them. So you say so, but according to NT-rules you just dont act like a "real" NT would do.

Dilbert would call it, "Nature's way of getting stuff done!" If the working world didn't also ostracize we weirdos, we'd be the geeks who kick in the door, march proudly into the office and FIX EVERYTHING. Without that pesky dating to get in the way, Aspies solve all problems with thier advanced non-social abilities. Once gone, the office breathes in a collective voice, "Who was that masked marvel??"

... hey, one can dream.

[sigh] Where's my coffee...