aspguy wrote:
I'm 25, I'm fat, I don't have a job, I don't have a car, I live with my mother, I think about sex too much and sometimes I just randomly talk about it, I have giant fatty manboobs, I'm only 5'8", I wear glasses, I'm confusing, and I try to avoid arguments because I don't want to ruin things. I want somebody to love me for who I am now, but that's impossible. Also I have social phobia and I'm afraid what might happen
A girl who is also overweight, has no job or car, lives with her mother, thinks about sex too much, wears glasses, and has social phobia would probably consider you a match made in heaven! But it may be difficult to find such a girl. Of course, all of the things in your post are things that you can change, although some may take longer or be more difficult than others. For example, if you are overweight, you can get into a regular habit of dieting and exercise. Not only will it make you more attractive, but it will make you infinitely more healthy, and you will feel better and have greater self-esteem. You do have to keep it up once you lose the weight though, that's why you have to make a habit of it once you make the appropriate lifestyle changes. If you don't like wearing glasses, you can switch to contacts. Those in my opinion are the two easiest aspects to change, that you can start on right away. Losing the weight may take a while, but adopting a healthier lifestyle doesn't
. To get rid of acne/facial scars, I'd recommend trying some over-the-counter acne medication and maybe some facial creams, and seeing a dermatologist if they don't help.
If you have severe social phobia, I'd recommend seeing a therapist, perhaps try to get some medication for it also. It may take a lot of effort on your part to make any noticeable progress, but it is indeed treatable (I used to have terrible social anxiety a few years ago, now it's almost a thing of the past). For the job/car situation, that depends more on your personal situation. Do you have any education or work experience? If not, then I'd suggest either trying to obtain some in whatever field you would like to work in, or look for a good job that doesn't really require any (I always recommend construction in this case, it's really hard work but it's very stable with good pay). And with a job, you solve 3 of those issues at once: employment, car, and living arrangements! Albeit you may have to work a while and save up some money first.
You say that you want someone to love you as you are, but how can they, when you don't seem to love yourself? That's step #1: developing a positive self-image! Not to mention, in relationships people want to be with someone who is self-sufficient and is able to take good care of themselves. And just note that all of these things take time, they will not happen overnight. And you may not be able to change all of them. But if you could even change just one, that would be an improvement, would it not?
Going after a similiar girl as the op is ideal. But problem is alot of fat,poor girls still want to only date the ''alpha'' male, so no one really wins.