Is there a line between cruel and "guy talk"?

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Okay I checked out the other thread . . .
I'm not sure if your boyfriend is the instigator though. It seems he has some friends who have some issues with women. But did he actually contribute to the bonfire conversation or just laugh?

Obviously the comment "gross, ugly truth" is deliberately a double meaning and very hurtful - but maybe he was just angry in general and knows your vulnerabilities. I guess you have to decide what you can live with.

But whoever you are hearing these comments from, I'd stay away from.

No, none of that is an acceptable way to talk about anyone.

He knew I was upset and went into the house but, yes, he wasn't the instigator. I won't be going back to those people's house either, at least not for awhile (a friend of mine moved away and I might have to go to parties there to see him again). But anyway, back to the topic of this thread haha. I'm glad some people are agreeing that a guy won't knowingly say this stuff if he knows it will upset the girl and he cares about her.

Um... I don't think that's acceptable. That sounds abusive. That isn't just teasing or something minor (like "she nags a lot," etc.). Why bother being with someone when you're making fun of who they are or how the way they look? It's quite obvious that isn't love; I'm not sure why it's done.

The thing I wonder about is whether or not he was actually being serious, but making it into a joke and making you, EmoGlambertAspie, think you're overreacting. My ex did this to me constantly: he would make fun of things that SERIOUSLY bothered me, whether or not I was still affected by them. I'd tell him that he hurt my feelings, but he still resorted to that kind of cruelty. He would say "Oh, it was just a joke!" and crap like that. Don't let yourself stay with an abuser; if they don't think they're wrong, they WILL NOT change. I hope, for your sake, that this isn't happening for you.

some people are like this and others are not. teenagers and people who are emotionally immature like teenagers tend to joke or talk like this, but most others grow out of it. my dad was like that, and yes i was scarred for life (once he stopped drinking and emotionally matured a bit he got better to a large degree).

i tried not to date or befriend people like that, but it's not always a known quantity as it's not really visible to the opposite sex, necessarily. my rule of thumb was that you'll notice that these body-shaming sorts are often the same ones who tend to reflexively point out the positive attributes of people's bodies in socially inappropriate situations as well (i.e. the same people who talk about a girlfriend's small boobs will also point out every movie star's cup size no matter who is around). somehow, these people seem to think everyone needs to know their detailed opinions about bodies. so that is a red flag.

when i did encounter it as an adult i confronted it head-on as a strident and outspoken feminist, and that pretty much killed that sort of talk. basically, you can be aware that you 100% have the high ground, and it is up to them to shut that talk right down or it is going to get pretty awkward pretty fast. there's nothing "fun" about a sociopolitical conversation interjected into their jokes or nasty crap.

He never tried to play it off as a joke. He said it to me seriously and knows what it did to me. As I said, I feel he apologized adequately and he said it wasn't true about me but down inside I feel like all guys lie about that stuff now.

Have to disagree here. Guys aren't bitchy towards other guys but more openly sexist since it's within a group of guys, they all know they won't get the feminist hairdryer treatment, there isn't really any topic off-limits and any genuine insults can be laughed off.

The problem I have with this girl / bro talk, is that women will never accept how often, bitchy and rude they are about gossiping, especially in groups going to the bathroom and guys will never accept how bitchy they can be with other guys.

I don't know what really out of this topic?
If you were looking for an excuse to dump your boyfriend, then you should simply ask yourself - am I happy being with this guy?

I know only one man who sometimes complains about his wife's cooking (sometimes he praises it) - but just that's it.

I've never met a man complaining about his wife/gf's breasts or something stupid like that.

@J-Greens I'm happy with him; this is the only time something like that has happened that I know of. I'm not looking for an excuse about anything just trying to see what other people's opinions of this "bro code" s**t allowing you to cut the woman you supposedly love to ribbons just because there are no other women around.

I've noticed people that are married don't openly criticize their wife/husband very much in front of others. They seem to think that openly dissing on their spouse is the same as dissing on themselves.(i.e. they mainly criticize each other in private)

I'm sure it's much more common in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation like in the OPs case.

Hope it works out for you.

Only bad-manered and spoiled people do that.