admit it, nt men are just nicer

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Joined: 5 Nov 2012
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20 Jan 2013, 12:17 am

Over the years, I've had a lot of girlfriends. To the best of my knowledge, all of them have been neuro-typical. Some of them were very nice and the relationships lasted for years. Also, I grew up in the time that the modern women's movement evolved. Most women have the "women have the right to be angry" attitude toward men. Effectively, you really don't have to do anything that is a true offense or breach of etiquette for them to respond harshly. Let's remember back to Hillary Rodham Clinton's 'Year of the Woman' when we heard things like "the phrase 'I was just trying to be a nice guy' is not an excuse, it's an admission of guilt." I first heard that while working as a lab assistant while was in graduate school. I was called in to assist in a computer lab where a Women's Studies class was being held and listened to truly hateful discussions. When you combine the general attitude that women have toward men with the opportunities for misinterpretation that autism offers, you've got an ideal formula for getting roasted with the feminist flamethrower. I've got nothing against woman, but being practical we have to understand that most of them have terrible feelings toward us.

Now, for the upside. There are some women who really love the idea of having a smart guy in their life. Generally speaking, they are educated professionals who are deliberate in what they do and careful in decision-making. To tell the truth, you are more likely to meet a girl who is compatible with one of us in the software users group meeting, rather than in a bar. She is likely to be clean and well groomed, but not overly flashy and cosmetic. The kind of girl who likes me is one who sees the quirks in my behavior as the perfect complement to my level of intelligence and creativity. So, go for the bookworm, not the cheerleader.

Actually, I found out that I have my autistic characteristics less than a year ago. I'm hoping to run into a nice Aspie girl to date and possibly have a relationship with. We'll see. Good luck to everyone.

MXH
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20 Jan 2013, 12:28 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

No.

I admit that I notice men are more tolerant toward differences, quirks and lacks.

For example, men in general are more likely to tolerate insecurities in the women they're dating, in most societies, men are simply not allowed to show a glimpse of insecurity of lack of confidence; also men are much more likely to overlook lack of car, income or job than women do.

Why is that thought? Simply because men have less choices than women when it comes to choosing a partner, pick any average single man and any average single woman from the crowd and chances are higher that the woman have more suitors in her life than the man does.

You can always notice that like 80% of the young pretty and the average-looking women, when they're in seeking phase, are on dates very frequently, they can sometimes reach to 2 or 3 dates per week (unless she's an extreme monogamous dater who never dates several men respectively) - this never happen to 80% of young men, young men get dates much less frequently.

So the "niceness" of men in that matter is only the result of fewer choices - while the "less-niceness" of women is the result of more availability of choices - therefore none of these "niceness" and "less-niceness" are really about genuine real niceness.

To make things simpler: You're extremely hungry, if you're offered a small bucket of few half-rotten apples then you would have no choice but to pick the least half-rotten apple, you would tolerate the rotten side and eat it anyway. But if you are offered a HUGE bucket of dozens apples, you would naturally leave the half-rotten one and pick the shiniest and the best apple out of it to eat; you won't pick any of the apples with faults.

So men are NOT nicer humans, they just have less choices in general.

agreed 100%. And id like to add another thing about mens dating. Many men with fear of failure tend to go for lower than they can get simply because they know theres no risk.

aspiemike
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20 Jan 2013, 2:01 am

Stargazer43 wrote:

This post has more generalizations than you can shake a stick at!

Winner winner... Chicken dinner.

The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jan 2013, 3:39 am

billiscool wrote:

but here something else I just notice. what does shy men,aspie men, social anxiety men, and even ''nervous'' men
have in common. They suck at getting women. boom it just came to me. why women don't want to date any of these men.
Ok, they are...........Lazy.

female laziness is what perventing so many shy men,aspie men,social anxiety from dating.
a an average nt women (not you aspie women, you ladies are cool, well most of you anyways) would rather
date an annoying jerk who has ''good approach skills'' than a shy aspie men who has terrible approach skills.

nt women do not want put in any effort. They want the man to approach. They want the man to know the right way
to approach them. The man just has to know the right things to say.
since aspie men just suck at approaching and aspie men don't know how to say the right thing and fact that
nt women don't even put part in any effort (like approach them, carry on conversation,ask the guy out) many of these men will lose out.

nt women ''hate'' aspie men. because aspie men forces them to put in effort. It force them to approach, it forces them to carry on conversation, and nt women don't want that. an nt women would rather sit and wait for the man to do all the approaching and talking. and that the truth.

Why they would have to make efforts for approaching while they usually have an endless supply of choices coming to them?

The apple bucket, again, it's all about the apple bucket.

Kezzstar
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20 Jan 2013, 4:35 am

I just think it's funny that most of the AS guys I know in RL have wives/girlfriends, and the ones who don't aren't interested anyway (too busy with their car engines lol).

Ever think that it's not that girls don't like aspies, it's just that they don't like you specifically and use AS as an excuse to get away from you?

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AspieOtaku
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20 Jan 2013, 5:31 am

NT women tend to dump me when they find out Im an aspie and dump me sooner when I tell them right away but dont when I keep it a secret a long time that gets exhausting though.

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20 Jan 2013, 6:57 am

billiscool wrote:

billiscool, this thread is locked because it is both sexist and intended to provoke and belittle other members (hint: the forum has many, many women in it, so when you talk crap about them in general you're talking crap about your fellow members).

this forum isn't intended as a place for you to place blame on an entire gender (or the NTs of that gender). it doesn't serve any purpose - it makes WP an unpleasant place for the other gender, and it doesn't improve your dating odds. we want to make this section of the forum as pleasant as possible for as many members as possible, and that means you need to stop posting like this.

as of now, please stop stop creating threads and posts like this or you will face a suspension as this has been a repeat issue. thank you for your understanding.

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