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Just looking for friends?

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hyperlexian
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21 Jan 2013, 8:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Okcupid is a DATING website, with hearts and pink all around its design. Period.

It's not a facebook.

then why does it offer a friend matching service?


I have yet to see a profile of someone straight seeking only friendship with both sexes and non-single -it's always with the opposite sex and single.

that doesn't answer my question. why does OKCupid offer a friendship matching service?

also, do these people's profiles affect your dating prospects in any way? if they are looking for friends and you don't want to be friends, it doesn't affect you. if they are actually looking for dates that happen after friendship and you are not wanting to take that chance, it doesn't affect you. you can literally completely avoid their profiles and never have to look at them.


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Venger
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21 Jan 2013, 8:21 am

Many people are no doubt very nervous about meeting someone they met online, so having the meeting initially under a pretense of "platonic friends" makes it seem a lot less intimidating. Meeting up in real life for a possible boyfriend/girlfriend relationship sounds very official like they're committing themselves to something. Even though it's usually the real reason.

That's probably why the OKcupid site offers a friendship matching service although people sometimes use it for other reasons.



Last edited by Venger on 21 Jan 2013, 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jan 2013, 8:23 am

hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Okcupid is a DATING website, with hearts and pink all around its design. Period.

It's not a facebook.

then why does it offer a friend matching service?


I have yet to see a profile of someone straight seeking only friendship with both sexes and non-single -it's always with the opposite sex and single.

that doesn't answer my question. why does OKCupid offer a friendship matching service?


Because they're trying to get more audience ;p? it's for the same reason why Facebook has the "Interested in Men/Women" thing but that doesn't really make facebook an appropriate venue for seeking dates.


Quote:
also, do these people's profiles affect your dating prospects in any way? if they are looking for friends and you don't want to be friends, it doesn't affect you. if they are actually looking for dates that happen after friendship and you are not wanting to take that chance, it doesn't affect you. you can literally completely avoid their profiles and never have to look at them.


Not really, but I simply hate hypocrisy.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jan 2013, 8:27 am

Vitamin-K wrote:
Friends make a great foundation for a relationship. I believe (personally) healthy relationships are made from friendships. I mean that way when the friendship progresses into a relationship, there's not a lot of awkward feelings and what not. Both people would (assumedly) like each other and they'll already know what they're each into and what not.

Friends are great, and I suggest that if you really want to find a relationship you expand to include the people who just state they're "Looking for friends." Best thing is you will get some good air time in public with friends of theirs others, so you'll have a chance to mingle a bit and learn about things the person is into just by being around their friends.

:D


Friendship developing between two persons dating is a de facto matter - but on the other hand, I find it is very important to make your intentions clear from the beginning for what you're really seeking.

With my current date, I was very clear and literally said "My goal is beyond friendship but if this doesn't work then I am ok with just friendship", that was said before the first date.

I am always very clear and transparent in what I want.



Stargazer43
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21 Jan 2013, 12:21 pm

Venger wrote:
Most people on OKcupid have looking "for new friends" set as one of their options along with long-term dating and/or short-term dating. However, I think the OP was referring to ones who claim that they're only looking "for new friends" that are straight and single which is obviously questionable.

By the way, I seriously doubt there's many straight-male friends(two guys) that met each other on OKcupid. lol


Yeah, that was exactly what I was getting at. Like I said I fully understand wanting to be friends before a relationship, and I can even say I've made a few friends off of dating websites. Although I wasn't out specifically to make friends, we just went on a few dates and it didn't work out, so we stayed as friends. I don't have problems with people using those sites purely for friends or anything, just thought I'd post to figure out why exactly they do it ;).

Lol I can just imagine messaging some other guy on there, "Hey would you like to go out for coffee? I'd love to get to know you better, no homo". I can imagine you'd get some pretty interesting responses.



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23 Jan 2013, 7:50 am

Does it sound like a good idea to make a life changing decision by browsing?


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Boadicea
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23 Jan 2013, 6:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Okcupid is a DATING website, with hearts and pink all around its design. Period.

It's not a facebook.

you're right, it's not facebook, because facebook is ass for meeting new people, it's for keeping up with people you already know in real life
myspace used to be good for new friend finding but myspace isn't really a thing anyore
whether you like it or not, a lot of people in college/young people use okc for social reasons, like meeting new friends and putting together groups for tabletop gaming

if you don't like how someone is using their profile or something on it bugs you, don't interact with them, it's that easy



Venger
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23 Jan 2013, 8:23 pm

Boadicea wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Okcupid is a DATING website, with hearts and pink all around its design. Period.

It's not a facebook.

you're right, it's not facebook, because facebook is ass for meeting new people, it's for keeping up with people you already know in real life
myspace used to be good for new friend finding but myspace isn't really a thing anyore
whether you like it or not, a lot of people in college/young people use okc for social reasons, like meeting new friends and putting together groups for tabletop gaming

if you don't like how someone is using their profile or something on it bugs you, don't interact with them, it's that easy


Post links to a few of these profiles(besides yours). Boo said every profile he's ever seen that claimed to be only looking "for new friends" also had criteria that coincided with the person's sexual orientation or relationship status.



hyperlexian
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24 Jan 2013, 5:45 am

Venger wrote:
Boadicea wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Okcupid is a DATING website, with hearts and pink all around its design. Period.

It's not a facebook.

you're right, it's not facebook, because facebook is ass for meeting new people, it's for keeping up with people you already know in real life
myspace used to be good for new friend finding but myspace isn't really a thing anyore
whether you like it or not, a lot of people in college/young people use okc for social reasons, like meeting new friends and putting together groups for tabletop gaming

if you don't like how someone is using their profile or something on it bugs you, don't interact with them, it's that easy


Post links to a few of these profiles(besides yours). Boo said every profile he's ever seen that claimed to be only looking "for new friends" also had criteria that coincided with the person's sexual orientation or relationship status.

no, please do not post links to people's profiles. WrongPlanet is not in the business of critiquing people's profiles without their permission.

Boadicea had some very good advice, which i bolded.


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