Women always try so hard to ignore me and look away from me?

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maybe his gf has done the same at times. maybe hesthinking of his past loves, etc. There isnt need to question something as simple as this thread.

he didn't ask about his gf, he asked about a strange woman he tried to make eye contact with in the supermarket. i don't see why not to ask the question. maybe there is something i don't know about his relationship - that is most likely the case. but since i don't know it, i don't understand the purpose for wanting to come across better to strange women in the supermarket.

I think it's more about validation. He just wants the reassurance that many women as a whole find him attractive. I don't think it's that uncommon, and it's not done for any relationship seeking purposes. Some people are just natural flirts.

Alenboy catches women looking at him, though, and he already knows he is attractive. so he has the validation.

i get what you and MXH are saying, but in the context of many relationships... while it may be considered flattering to have attention from other people, to actively seek it out or to cultivate it is different. a good rule of thumb is to ask would my partner mind what i'm doing if they were standing next to me right now? of course many partners don't care, and that's cool - that's how their relationship works. i don't know how Alienboy's relationship works, so that's why i was confused here. i don't have the full picture maybe.

I have seen people with AS mention this before and I have to say that I cannot ever imagine that doing little social experiments comes off as too natural. I would imagine that it would come off as a bit creepy and feel very strange to the other person. For an NT smiling and making brief eye contact is something that is done naturally, I think that perhaps what you are doing just seems very awkward to the person that you are trying to engage with. If you keep trying to catch their eye I think that would make them feel nervous, just because it is not a behavior that we are used to. As hyperlexian mentioned people don’t tend to hold eye contact with strangers often.



My ex boyfriend used to feel the need to validate himself and try to increase his self esteem by trying to see if other women besides me were attracted to him. Unfortunately this made me much less attracted to him.

He is a very attractive guy, he could easily be a model, but I often saw that people were confused by his behavior and often times female bartenders or other women he tried to interact with found his behavior very odd and awkward.

I met him online and by the time I met him in person I really liked him, but within five minutes of being physically with him, I knew that something was quite different. It didn’t help that the first thing he did was take my sunglasses off of my face so that he could see my eyes. Apparently he really wanted to make eye contact with me.



I agree with hyperlexian, actively seeking out attention in order to validate yourself or increase your self esteem could be very confusing to your girl friend. I used to wonder why my attention was not enough for him. I never tried to get another man to act like he was attracted to me. As a matter of fact, I avoided eye contact for just that reason. If you don’t know for sure that your girlfriend wouldn’t mind your social experiments, you may want to figure that out.

And even if she thinks it is fine, I still think that you will come off as very unnatural, because you are in fact trying to do something to elicit a certain response from another person as opposed to just naturally interacting with them and odds are they realize that something is different.

Maybe its because they know your autistic.

IF she's behind you in a line then it seems to me you would have to turn around/twist your head significantly to make eye contact her (also don't understand how you 'caught' her looking at you in that context anyway), in which case it would be awkward and weird even if she was checking you out.

I might check people out if i think they won't notice me, it they notice me i'll look away because i'm just checking them out, i dont actually want to engage with them....like hyperlexian said in general eye contact with strangers is not something people do, at least in places like grocery stores (maybe somewhere like a bar where people are open to talking to others) and like ntgirl said, generally random eye contact moments amongst NT's happen more spontaneously, like passing someone in the street (walking in opposite directions) you look at them, they look at you, your eyes meet, you pass, moments over. nothing odd about that, until you stop and turn around and keep looking lol but i digress.

i don't think there's anything fundamentally wrong with you, your presence, your attractiveness (based on what you said) but your mannerisms may be what's putting people off (although not so much so that it's completely creepy because as has also been pointed out, you have a gf after all).

Imagining this was hilarious. Maybe if you laughed, she would laugh too?

We've all seen the hottest birds on the arm of what could be uncharitably called the weirdest looking guys.
It isn't what you look like, its HOW you look.
Women go by how they feel when they look at you or are near you. You cant get past this filter.

You tell yourself that you are evil and creepy looking - well do us all a favor and never tell yourself the BS again.
Because that is half the attitude women pick up on you.

Women are forever scanning guys for social cues that indicate to them your suitability as a spouse. They do this for ages.
So when you are telling yourself evil things about yourself, guess what your social cues are telling them?

You have to put something beautiful inside if you want anyone else to like what they see.

Last edited by ripped on 07 Feb 2013, 2:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

I dont think you do, because ive not said anything besides that it is not up to us to decide for him what to do or want. We both like to blame society for being controlling of what others do, yet what do we do to break that chain?

Because humans are apes.

Hooo Hoo hooo hooo!!

Something that you always failed to see.

But we aren't as hairy. Oh, wait, some of us are.

Oh no, another misled male (by the media, common talks...etc) who made to believe that women have super powers that allow them to scan and sense vibes from males just by getting close to them.

I've got news for you, this is all bs.

again, we have no idea what is ok within the context of his relationship,so what society dictates is not really relevant. i feel like i don't know the whole picture here so i am commenting on limited information.

as am i. Except we went the 2 oposite paths here, mine being answering his questions and letting him figure the rest out

no, what you are doing is trying to convince me, which has nothing to do with advising the OP. if you want to help him, by all means do so. but this ain't it