Girl approaches, clearly flirts, and then talks about bf

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^ This.

I had once a 30min skype conversation with a very good-looking girl, it was full of flirts and sexy talk, when I asked for her facebook she said her boyfriend doesn't like her to add guys.
And oh, he works for the intelligence.

...another thought - A lot of people (male & female) are always looking to "trade up".

Taken or not, they'll flirt with someone intriguing... and either move "up" to you, or decide to friendzone you and stick with the preferable current partner.

Or both! Heck... fidelity is for suckers, they say!

Another ape explanation.

APES!!

Flattering, but unlikely, except perhaps in the second case. I think the self-gratification explanations make more sense.

I once met a married woman in a bar, had a good friendly conversation, and then made some joke about married people a long way into the conversation and she says she "forgot" to take her ring off because she usually likes to go without it when she goes out, so she can flirt for fun. lol so funny!! !! !

Do they? I don't start random conversations with people without a reason. I have a hard time accepting that a woman would start a conversation with me for absolutely no reason. If she's talking to me, she must want something. If that something is not obvious, I become suspicious.

1. People are social animals.
2. If you don't talk to strangers, you'll never make friends.
3. People talk to strangers.

It's true - even introverted aspies like me can and do. I almost never pursue a conversation to the point of getting dates... but I suppose I could... if I really wanted to. Talking isn't too bad, but flirting with a stranger is like tiptoeing through a minefield!!

please don't blow up please don't blow up please don't blow up please don't blow up please don't blow up *BOOM* damn!
[walks away with foot in mouth]

I can flirt- with people who I know I'm never going to sleep with (that would be fellow women and gay men).

You're such a tease

Oh, boy. This thread is making me feel very guilty.
So instead of saying how I've been a bad girl and need a spanking, I will say sorry.

I can't really help it. I never send more than one flirty comment, unless I truly like the guy. I would date any of the guys I do heavy flirting w/, my bf just doesn't like to share. I mention him so that the guy doesn't get his hopes up. I see judging from this thread that I am too late.

I thought this was a girl who flirted in person... I'm pretty sure you're off the hook there, MD.

If I misread something, I blame the sleep deprivation.

I had similar problems with two boys that were member of an hobby club of mine. It seems that for many people mans and woman having conversations, and showing great interest in that conversation, and really enjoying the conversation, are normally thought to be enjoying the presence of the other person and talking to that person, if they are men and women, instead of enjoying the topic. So my SI is a rare one, and I normally cant speak to anyone about it without boring them. So, when I came into that hobby group, sure I was completely and happy to have someone to talk about and showed great interest in talking and was very happy when talking to them.

The other thing for me is, that I am a bit childish due to Asperger. So "Do you like to go swimming." means for me if I´d like to go swimming. So I like swimming very much, so as long as I really dont hate a person, everyone will get an agreement from me. Same is it with "Afterwards after the hobby club meeting, we could watch the fimd "Dogma" at my home if you are interested." So I really love the film Dogma, so the answer is yes. If you ask a 9 year old girl, if she wants to see Disneys "The Lion King" she will simply answer if she likes the film or not. The other part of me being childish is being naive in some way. So when people asked me, if I like to do something with them, I normally phoned my partner, what he was doing in the evening. If he was with his friends, and would return later it was ok to do something afterwards the hobby club with friends of my own, if he already was at home I wanted to spend the evenings with my partner. So the people from the hobby club knew of my partner. I never had the idea, that someone would be flirting with me, or thinking of me flirting with other persons, when he knew I had a boyfriend. Sure this happens in films and so on, but people flirting with other people in relationships are normally shown as really slimy, evil guys. I never had the idea before that completely normal friendly guys, would try to flirt with someone if they knew the opposite is in an relationship. As child you are always told that this is a really, really bad thing, so I didnt think of normal people doing this, as I didnt think normal people would sell drugs or steal cars.



As long as I am not thinking of flirting or anything, having body contact to a boy is no different for me then having body contact to a girl. I dont think about it and it doesnt feel anything different. So if I am watching video with someone, I didnt see the problem of sharing a couch or a blanket, if its cold.

When someone told me, that it appears to others, that I would flirt with someone, only because I dont change my behaviour between men and women, it was a big problem for me, because its too much for me to think in every action, sentence, word, behaviour of myself or my opposite, if there is a hidden meaning in it or not. I reduced to having contacts to bigger groups that dont know me, instead I have now a smaller hobby group with someone who knew me since I was younger, or if I do something with a bigger group I try doing it together with my partner. So I still have sometimes an unusual enjoyment, when talking to other people, depending on the topic. But as long as my partner is about 15 meters in reach I hope its definitely clearly, that I am only enjoying the topic and not the person.


If you yourself think, that such things are happening to you as male Aspie more often, then other males. Maybe normal NT-women are sensing themselfs no flirt signals from your side, so they feel safe to act just like they way you are as they can with female friends, including not caring for body contact and such things. While when acting to an NT guy, sending them flirt signales, in which they are not interested, they always have to care that they have to avoid things that would mean an flirting interest on her side, dud to NT-rules?

In my opinion, I think that's still wrong as it only causes confusion and sends the wrong message.

Apologizing won't break the habit, but whatever rocks your boat.

Last year this married woman with two children ended up opening up to me about some weird things(first day of summer for her, she probably drunk a bit too much, we went out with a group of people and while everyone was leaving she asked who could stay I had nothing to do)

Anyhow she asked me to walk her to her car and shed take me to mine from there, they were at a similar distance so I figured it was ok.

As we were walking to her car she started complaining about how some new girl was taking the attention away from her and some friend wasnt paying that much attention to her.
Ipointed out that she had two children and a stable partner and she said that it wasnt like that, that she just wanted to know that she still had it from time to time

I wouldnt say every woman does this but it could be a similar situation. As soon as she knows that she still has some sort of charm she makes it clear that she has a partner and nothing will happen

^ Apes, humans are so apes.