19 Feb 2013, 9:32 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,126
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
19 Feb 2013, 9:47 am
19 Feb 2013, 9:54 am
nessa238 wrote:
Are you looking for an aspie female with NT female looks though?
As a certain proportion of aspie females probably wouldn't make your 'grade' in terms of how you wanted them to look,
you might be looking for an NT 'look' coupled with an aspie personality
For example, I'm an aspie female and I wouldn't even have identified you as aspie from your photos - you look very NT to me,
plus you are good looking so double the reason I wouldn't bother as I'd think we had nothing in common
People tend to prefer others at their own level in terms of looks and intellect
Your matches in looks will by default have more NTs in there
You should choose a person based on their personality rather than their neurology as there's plenty of unpleasant people with ASDs just as there's caring NTs (albeit they're in the minority!)
As a certain proportion of aspie females probably wouldn't make your 'grade' in terms of how you wanted them to look,
you might be looking for an NT 'look' coupled with an aspie personality
For example, I'm an aspie female and I wouldn't even have identified you as aspie from your photos - you look very NT to me,
plus you are good looking so double the reason I wouldn't bother as I'd think we had nothing in common
People tend to prefer others at their own level in terms of looks and intellect
Your matches in looks will by default have more NTs in there
You should choose a person based on their personality rather than their neurology as there's plenty of unpleasant people with ASDs just as there's caring NTs (albeit they're in the minority!)
I would just like to meet that sweet, warm-hearted, innocent, attractive little aspie-girl. (: I guess that does mean nt-look with aspie-personality.
If you met me you would not doubt I was an aspie given I was myself.
Finding an attractive, but very caring NT is like finding a needle in a haystack. But it is a good piece of advice you are giving me, nonetheless. I need to give it a chance. I have just been disappointed countless times.
Last edited by qawer on 19 Feb 2013, 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
19 Feb 2013, 10:06 am
AspieOtaku wrote:
Theyre at the Library and Anime conventions! 
So that means I have to get books as my new interest...
It does not appeal much to me unless they contain mathematics
19 Feb 2013, 10:15 am
Wolfheart wrote:
You have the typical nightclub pop mainstream look which is going to attract a lot of girls that are NT but it might not attract artistic women or ones that have alternative interests. To be honest, I doubt many girls on the spectrum go to nightclubs so you'd have a better chance at an art class.
You have a great point. Art classes might be an idea. I can draw stick men, I wonder if that'll do it
It was mainly when I was younger I went to nightclubs. The attitude in those places did not appeal much to me, but the music, the dancing, the nice drinks, the good vibes, was much fun. I came there for all the wrong reasons, but probably also just to have experienced it.
19 Feb 2013, 10:19 am
19 Feb 2013, 10:34 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,126
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
19 Feb 2013, 10:39 am
19 Feb 2013, 10:54 am
19 Feb 2013, 11:05 am
qawer wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
For example, I'm an aspie female and I wouldn't even have identified you as aspie from your photos - you look very NT to me,
plus you are good looking so double the reason I wouldn't bother as I'd think we had nothing in common
plus you are good looking so double the reason I wouldn't bother as I'd think we had nothing in common
Perhaps these would convince you that I'm aspie (I was not aware I have those common aspie-eyes until I read about it). These pictures really show my true personality:
From looking at your photos you do not look as if you have any 'conditions' therefore you look NT
ie your autistic neurology/genes is not showing in your face to the extent that I can see it
For people like that, if they can learn to be NT they might as well be NT as they will get good general acceptance off NTs
My genes/neurology are too evident in my face and manner, hence I've got no chance blending in with the NTs
A lot of people get hassle off the police - it all depends on the particular policeman you deal with and what mood they're in ie many different criteria than it being due to having Aspergers etc
You look like a Hollyoaks actor
They should set up a separate forum called 'Very Good Looking Aspies with 'Problems' '
19 Feb 2013, 11:09 am
Wolfheart wrote:
qawer wrote:
RawSugar wrote:
MountainLaurel wrote:
Aspie women are around, but they tend to blend in. Unless you meet and get to know women, you are are not going to meet and get to know any aspie women.
I know and associate with 6 aspie women. One at church, four in my workplace and my upstairs neighbor. If you are in school, there are aspie women in your environment, you just don't know who they are. They are not wearing badges that identify themselves as aspie.
I know and associate with 6 aspie women. One at church, four in my workplace and my upstairs neighbor. If you are in school, there are aspie women in your environment, you just don't know who they are. They are not wearing badges that identify themselves as aspie.
QFT
Also, don't be so quick to dismiss neurotypical people. I've had some of the most raw relationships that I've ever had with neurotypical males. The thing you have to understand about NTs is that they are not all the same. There are so many out there with the potential to offer you happiness.
My problem may be that people expect me to be NT because of my looks. I do not see why one should not want to look nice just because one is an aspie..
I know neurotypical people can be very kind. No doubt at all. But a part of me is always missing that aspie-warmth when I am with a pure NT. I do not feel they understand me.
Honesty and trust are two important aspects for me. I'd rather not experience a divorce in my lifetime. I feel NT people (in general) are less likely to be completely trustworthy. This might be because they are less happy about routines and need changes to not get bored.
To be honest, I know how you're feeling but what you are looking for is relationship maturity and that can either come from an NT or an AS girl, it's really dependent on the person and what they have been through. You need someone with that same priorities that want to build a trusting, honest and open relationship along with the patience and tolerance to understand you. Trust me, that's not going to be the easiest thing to find as I have dated women that are even 30 and they couldn't understand why I withdrew from them.
I trust you, what you describe is exactly what I fear will happen again and again...I never knew I was in this situation until quite recently. It has not even been a year since I found out I have aspergers. Good luck to you mate!
19 Feb 2013, 11:24 am
nessa238 wrote:
From looking at your photos you do not look as if you have any 'conditions' therefore you look NT
ie your autistic neurology/genes is not showing in your face to the extent that I can see it
For people like that, if they can learn to be NT they might as well be NT as they will get good general acceptance off NTs
My genes/neurology are too evident in my face and manner, hence I've got no chance blending in with the NTs
A lot of people get hassle off the police - it all depends on the particular policeman you deal with and what mood they're in ie many different criteria than it being due to having Aspergers etc
You look like a Hollyoaks actor
They should set up a separate forum called 'Very Good Looking Aspies with 'Problems' '
ie your autistic neurology/genes is not showing in your face to the extent that I can see it
For people like that, if they can learn to be NT they might as well be NT as they will get good general acceptance off NTs
My genes/neurology are too evident in my face and manner, hence I've got no chance blending in with the NTs
A lot of people get hassle off the police - it all depends on the particular policeman you deal with and what mood they're in ie many different criteria than it being due to having Aspergers etc
You look like a Hollyoaks actor
They should set up a separate forum called 'Very Good Looking Aspies with 'Problems' '
I am way too innocent and naiive to be NT (or was, I've figured out how things work now).
I just do not want to "learn to be NT". It is not the natural me. It's like going through life always faking who I am. I can act NT, though (You basically just need to care extremely much about yourself and not be too kind, open nor honest).
People think you do not have problems if you look good. I know looks is a huge advantage. But in fact, I have noone to identify with. My "friends" are more or less NT, I have to pretend quite a lot. I do not really consider them friends. On the other hand most aspies do not consider me to part of their group either. One leg in each camp is an awkward, lonely position.
19 Feb 2013, 11:32 am
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Some NT women would be willing to become Aspies just for you.
Hehe
The NT-women who are willing to that are the not-so-good-looking NT-women. Then I'd rather have company of a compassionate aspie.
19 Feb 2013, 11:38 am
Good luck and welcome to Wrong Planet, Qawer. Send me an add request on facebook in my web page link and I'll send you an add to the Wrong Planet Facebook group if you like.
Last edited by Wolfheart on 19 Feb 2013, 1:30 pm, edited 3 times in total.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,126
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
19 Feb 2013, 1:13 pm
qawer wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Some NT women would be willing to become Aspies just for you.
Hehe
The NT-women who are willing to that are the not-so-good-looking NT-women. Then I'd rather have company of a compassionate aspie.
Oh, so you want an aspie + gorgeous woman?
How typical.
Sorry pretty boy, such Aspie women already have NT bfs.
Oh...wait, I know such one who's single, and she's a member here, but you have to bribe me first to tell you about her.
19 Feb 2013, 1:30 pm
qawer wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
From looking at your photos you do not look as if you have any 'conditions' therefore you look NT
ie your autistic neurology/genes is not showing in your face to the extent that I can see it
For people like that, if they can learn to be NT they might as well be NT as they will get good general acceptance off NTs
My genes/neurology are too evident in my face and manner, hence I've got no chance blending in with the NTs
A lot of people get hassle off the police - it all depends on the particular policeman you deal with and what mood they're in ie many different criteria than it being due to having Aspergers etc
You look like a Hollyoaks actor
They should set up a separate forum called 'Very Good Looking Aspies with 'Problems' '
ie your autistic neurology/genes is not showing in your face to the extent that I can see it
For people like that, if they can learn to be NT they might as well be NT as they will get good general acceptance off NTs
My genes/neurology are too evident in my face and manner, hence I've got no chance blending in with the NTs
A lot of people get hassle off the police - it all depends on the particular policeman you deal with and what mood they're in ie many different criteria than it being due to having Aspergers etc
You look like a Hollyoaks actor
They should set up a separate forum called 'Very Good Looking Aspies with 'Problems' '
I am way too innocent and naiive to be NT (or was, I've figured out how things work now).
I just do not want to "learn to be NT". It is not the natural me. It's like going through life always faking who I am. I can act NT, though (You basically just need to care extremely much about yourself and not be too kind, open nor honest).
People think you do not have problems if you look good. I know looks is a huge advantage. But in fact, I have noone to identify with. My "friends" are more or less NT, I have to pretend quite a lot. I do not really consider them friends. On the other hand most aspies do not consider me to part of their group either. One leg in each camp is an awkward, lonely position.
I can see what you mean
People are generally friendly on WP so you might make some friends here
Just don't expect everyone to be 'your people' as this is a common fallacy
People with Aspergers are just a variety of different people with an overlay of the problems/differences Aspergers brings with it so in many ways they might as well be people with Asthma for all the similarity in personality to yourself you are likely to find
I'd agree that we are more likely to be honest and open but everyone is an individual; we are not one set personality type
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