Ever feel like dating has turned into a job interview?

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You need some professional help for this. Running, making movies and winning an Emmy are Grade A, 1st. Class chick magnets but it is something that you are doing subconciously that is messing things up.

I wish I could afford a relationship counselor, but I have too many obligations...my film work demands it. And in any case, the hours I work make it so difficult. Are there any therapists that make a point of offering weekend hours?

Dating is like a job interview... and online dating is like a vending machine. Many folks drop in their money and expect the perfect partner to pop out. At the slightest flaw, that person is dumped into the trash can and they go right back to pushing buttons for the next one.

If you do some research there are often free counseling options available for those without insurance. Catholic charities is the only major one that comes to mind, but there are a few others out there I believe. And I'm sure that there are plenty that offer weekend hours, or at least night hours during the workweek, but you might have to pay for those.

One needs to look at the underlying mechanisms in order to understand what is actually going on.

In general one needs to realize (rather easy) and accept (rather difficult) that the world is very superficial.

Romantic love (by my definition) is a concept that really only exists between people who view the world in a way they are not "supposed to". For instance, if you are very popular, dating is a matter of who has the more social status - hence, a date really is a job interview, the only difference being that it concerns a relationship, not a job. This is how it is supposed to be. The more you object against this, the more is wrong with you (by society norms).

If you want a date that feels less like a job interview, you'll need to find a girl with whom there is basically something "wrong" (autism for instance).

Just realize you cannot both have a smoking hot, rich and popular lady with high social status as your girlfriend and then at the same time expect love to be more than just that: money, power, looks.

One has to make a decision on a compromise between these two poles. You are basically saying that she was too much into the "money-power-looks"-category.

Like with the job interviews, it's not about what she can give to you, but what you can give to her. Sad, but true. John F. Kennedy said his famous phrase for a reason: "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country!". Similarly, think about it: What do you have to offer to a girl, in dating or in a relationships? Really think about how you would answer that.

"I'm a nice guy" won't cut it, sorry. It's like saying "I don't slack off" at job a interview. That's not a "good" quality; that's an adequate quality. It's something that is, and should be, taken for granted when being with a romantic partner. Yeah, girls go for abusive jerks left and right, but that's beyond the scope of my post. I'm just saying that being a nice guy makes you an adequate person, not someone special. That's life.

"I can be romantic" is a little better. But that's like saying "I'm a hard worker" at a job interview, which hasn't worked since even before Shrub was president. In other words, don't tell, show! Think back to activities you've done or places you went to that you yourself found romantic. Maybe you went boating on a lake. Maybe you traveled to a quirky, historic town. Maybe you tried something a little crazy that makes for a good story, like taking a flying lesson on a Cessna. There's gotta be at least one example in your life. Share that with a girl. Don't talk about stereotypically mushy scenes of long walks on the beach "that all girls like". When you describe something that you find romantic, it will show in your voice and body language. And girls like that.

"I'm good at [skill girls like]" is better still. But again, it's like saying "I can use Excel" at a job interview. You gotta show! For interviews, you have your resume and references. For dates, ask her out somewhere where you will shine. If you can't think of an answer, find a skill you think you can become halfway decent at, and learn it! Let's use swing dancing as an example. Learn a few basic steps, and invite a girl to a dance event. An added bonus of swing is that swing is something popular mostly among an older, mellower crowd. So on your dates, the odds of jerks stealing your girl will be fairly low. And dance etiquette dictates that others stay away from "taken" partners.

I think this should be sufficient to give you some groundwork. Good luck.