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CeallachSolomon
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08 Jan 2007, 8:33 pm

If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't mind if she talked to other guys. Then again, I wouldn't mind if she had sex with other guys, either, as long as she told me about it and was careful.

...And she accepted the fact that I'd want to be with other girls. Nothing against her, I just don't think I could be satisfied limiting myself to one woman, no matter how much I loved her. It's not a sign of less love, it's a sign of a very powerful libido.



eet_1024
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09 Jan 2007, 10:48 am

likedcalico wrote:
The one from Idaho was going to give me something he didn't want and I asked if I can have them and he said yes but I'd have to give him something in return and when I didn't know what he was talking about when he said "Get on with it" he told me I was naive and when he told me he meant sex, I said 'forget it' and then he apologized and said he was just kidding.


It's hard to tell if he was really joking or not. But if he doesn't want his girlfriend to know about anything, then red flags should be going up.

You don't have to dump someone outright. You can cool the relationship down over time by slowly reducing your interest and time investment in it.

I think it's good to have friends besides your S/O. But having a friend who wants you sexually is dangerous to your relationship to your S/O. It's like someone who's suicidal having a loaded gun around. You hit one bump in your relationship, and next you know things are really screwed up.



eet_1024
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09 Jan 2007, 10:50 am

CeallachSolomon wrote:
I just don't think I could be satisfied limiting myself to one woman, no matter how much I loved her. It's not a sign of less love, it's a sign of a very powerful libido.


Have you considered treatment for sex addiction?



diseased
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09 Jan 2007, 11:44 am

OP... as has been mentioned once or twice already, it sounds like your boyfriend has some trust issues and some control issues that, in all honesty, need to be dealt with before things go any further. Granted, we don't know him and we're only hearing one side of the issue, so this is all speculation.
That said, the part about him controlling (or wanting to) who you can and cannot talk to immediately set off alarm bells. I've seen this happen at least 5 times to female friends of mine who, the whole while, kept insisting "But he loves me..." during which time the boyfriend slowly but surely kept making tiny little changes that, over time, resulted in him controlling her more and more.
"But he loves me..." is not an excuse. That's not love. That's power and the exercise thereof. Alternately, it's insecurity and jealousy that haven't been addressed beign externalised and projected onto you. Either way, it's not fair to you and it's certainly not love.
Think carefully before you progress this relationship.



snake321
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09 Jan 2007, 7:38 pm

Chances are, he's afraid you'll go for some other guy and end up leaving him. Largely because NT girls often act that way, once someone richer, with better social skills, or more popular comes along they'll ditch the person they've been seeing (unless theyr married, but even that isn't neccessarily a guarantee). Chances are he's been intimately starved so long he's afraid of loosing you after he's finally managed to get with you. I know because I've been there.



shadexiii
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09 Jan 2007, 8:30 pm

likedcalico wrote:
The one from Idaho was going to give me something he didn't want and I asked if I can have them and he said yes but I'd have to give him something in return and when I didn't know what he was talking about when he said "Get on with it" he told me I was naive and when he told me he meant sex, I said 'forget it' and then he apologized and said he was just kidding.


Your boyfriend for some reason sees this other guy's actions here as the important part. It isn't, its your actions. You effectively told the guy off. If your boyfriend can't appreciate that, that's an issue. If he can't trust that you were being serious about that with the other guy, then that's something that needs addressing. Its already clear that he has trust issues, but this is an instance where he should have taken it to show he can trust you.



GLHARILA
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09 Jan 2007, 11:23 pm

first thing i never told her she could not talk to other men or have male freinds i just don't like the ones that she talks to that keep asking for sex and have girlfreind and still are on dating sites asking to talk to women and men that don't want me to come along when she meat them or won't bring there girlfreind to meet her I'am not a violent person she said i throw my phone across the romm i n ever throw the phone i got off the phone because she was talking online to a guy that wanted sex for the item he had and has a girlfreind and is onlie on a dating site that is why i got off the phone upsetly I have been cheated on by one woman i have been in only one rerlasonship so i'am naive to life somewhat i really don't have trust isues i trust her don't trust other men she is niave and is very trusting of people so i am in fear that someone is going to take advantage of her



Last edited by GLHARILA on 09 Jan 2007, 11:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

09 Jan 2007, 11:46 pm

Delete this whole thread. I should have kept this to myself in the first place and only asked if it bothers men when their girls chat with other men. I started a poll on it and it got locked and I'm in a mess right now so just delete this whole thing.



MagicMike
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10 Jan 2007, 8:00 am

So what if you find someone better; you're simply in the dating stage and probably have yet to decide to "go steady" or "engage to be engaged" or whatever the crap kids call it these days. Insecure types are dangerous; try talking to him about his dislike towards other guys, and if he doesn't respond rationally about it, you may very well have to dump him, head for the hills, and don't look back.