Problems with the people you attract?

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Problem with standards is you have to be realistic. And that's where many get lost

I seem to attract very possessive and controlling people, or at least I used to. I went through some really toxic relationships before I figured out that I was responsible for this pattern and had to change it.

I don't seem to be able to read guys at all and I go through phases of having some interest in guys, but it dies down quickly. It's an occasional curiosity and I have finally come to understand I can't build a healthy relationship based on a passing curiosity so I don't really date guys at all anymore. I don't really even like to maintain any sort of relationship that has expectations that go beyond the present.

Basically I feel an obligation and sense of duty to always love and care about my friends, but when it comes to relationships that involve sex, I don't make any commitments to anything but the immediate future. With my last girlfriend we would say every week "I want to be with you for another week." and it became this thing that was funny to us, but it was real, and it kept us in touch with the reality that we might break up at any point and neither of us were going to dislike or blame the other, because that's kind of how relationships in your 20s go for a lot of people.

Then again, too, this area is full of very conservative people and even the ones who say they are liberal are oftentimes very bigoted. It is up to me not to make strong connections with these people that I will inevitably want to eliminate.(the connection, not the person's... life)

It's difficult to find a balance between being really open and being selective about the kind of people I want in my life. Add all of that to being socially inept and having a hard time reading people... yeah, I do have problems with some of the people I have attracted in my life in the past, but less and less all the time because I'm always trying to figure out how to change that.

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On a less joking note, most of the time i'm introduced to women, but they always have a man that they're either with or chasing.

My problem is either I have no idea who's attracted to me and I never find out or I attract older women I have no shot of dating and I mean women in their forties and beyond.

i am attracted towards smart, intelligent, popular and social person
But they avoid me at all cost they find me weird

I really only attract women who are too old for me and are married. The age part I can maybe get past (up to a point) but the married part? I don't think so.

Unfortunately "people I attract" is not a thing. It's never happened.

People that forget my name, or I have made no impact on their lives.

since I re-activated my OKCupid a few weeks ago, I've had a handful of messages.

80% of them are from overweight women who share the same interests as me, but otherwise I'm not interested in in the slightest, 1 was from woman who was actually pretty cute, she messaged me, I responded, and then because she saw my 100% anti-drug stance told me she wasn't interested anymore, and then 1 was from a gay guy who didn't quite grasp that just because I'm slight of build, and put care in my appearance that I wasn't interested in being his twink..

Yeah..

So far all of the men that have the same or similar morals, life goals, etc. were only briefly interested for various reasons(some unknown).
I tend to attract deceitful, dishonest types, of various ages. Nearly all of these men used me or wanted to use me as a time pass or I was "just good enough" because they were tired of looking. It seems "good" people that are socially awkward, shy, cautious, etc. they are viewed as an target by many. I have had a lot of people tell me that people view me as "easy prey". This goes for platonic friendships too.

A lot of the time an intelligent person wants to be the "biggest brain" so to speak I noticed this complex is very common in NTs. Also some good people were once bad and might envy or feel they don't deserve a good person. Also, a lot of "good" people seek out people they can fix up heck even some "bad" people do that. Replace good with whatever positive key points/characteristics..

This week it seems to be kinky top lawyers, including a married one

And it's only Monday.