Why do some people play games?

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Here's the solution some of the time: don't play the game. By not playing the game, you can sometimes make yourself more attractive. If she acts coy, then ignore her, and if she likes you, she will give up and make contact.

Sometimes, if I feel a girl is playing games by text, I will just ignore her for a few days, then text her randomly, then text her until she starts acting cold (short responses, etc.) and then not respond. Then, a few days later, I will repeat the cycle. Eventually, she will come around, or you can't be sure she actually likes you or is just playing nice.

i refused to play the game, or i could not play it even if i wanted to [it would've been easier to learn russian and chinese simultaneously]. and things did not turn out that way.

I don't this is necessarily game playing. I agree with all of the other posts. It was just a nice way of letting you down. And while saying you'll wait for someone might sound loyal and honorable, it's best to move one. I did that once.Told a guy whenever he was ready for a relationship I'd be there waiting. When really he just didn't want a relationship with me..

Getting on with someone online, is not a pre-requisite for being a perfect match, when meeting in the flesh.

Imo, it's a fairly straightforward case of her not seeing you as boyfriend material, but not being blunt about it. Possibly not to hurt you.

These are risks you must take if you put yourself in those situations. Chemistry is still something, that online screens do not allow to carry. It's the last hurdle, but...a decisive one.

Good luck!

Um, no we do not like the challenge. If someone said "Well, I won't wait for you there are other women out there" I'd tell him to go be with them then and leave me alone.

I prefer what you said in the first place about waiting until she had time to get together. It is rather lovely and sweet.

I was studying last year and I didn't always have the time and energy to make it out on a date with someone or chat to them online sometimes even if I did like them, I actually really was busy studying...it was not a blow off of any kind whatsoever, although the men will read it that way.

Why can men just not accept that you actually mean what you say and you are not trying to get rid of them.

She may not have been letting him down...

As I stipulated I was studying last year and had to cancel up on some meetings with peopke because I was too busy to make it. I actually was busy studying! But they got all ratty with me so I never did meet them after all.

People are so paranoid.

All these silly games people play make it difficult for people who are being honest and straight up. It is annoying.

Agreed. Pity that direct, simple honesty (which doesn't have to be rude) is just so... rare!

Anything is possible. But for the most, more often than not, this is a nice way of letting someone down-NT style.

I agree with Ilovemyaspie. I have learned to do it too. If I was to be myself, I would just blurt out the truth. So, if we had been having an engaging time online, and then I met the person, and the chemistry wasn't there (not forgetting I have a ton of sensory issues, so it could be something like his smell not being right) I would ask a NT friend how to gently let him down. The truth would be cruel and not necessary (even though it would be honest).

But I can put myself in the place of the OP, and I know it's hard.

Of course we are all just giving our own opinions, and only the woman knows the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So, if the OP wants the answer, just ask for it and tell her whatever it is he would rather have the truth than excuses. But be ready to face the consequences.

I dont agree with the "woman" thing. NT men play that games as well. I also read in these forums enough of those typical social games by men. As example that typical "If you dont do/like ... this is a sign that you dont love me." nonsense. Its nothing but a lousy try to force someone to do something for you, that you want, while youself ignore the others feeling. So if you try to play this games is not linked to women or men or Asperger and NT, its simply about your personality as human.

I agree with blabby. I would not have a lower opinion after that.

We were emailing quite a bit after meeting the first time, though. So, I think she liked me quite a bit, too.

I agree.

I didn't mean to imply that only women do it.

I get the impression some do like the challenge; some don't.



Well, thank you.