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Wolfheart
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01 Apr 2013, 6:29 pm

BlueMax wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Or worse, recognized instantly for the cheeeeezy pickup line that it is. It'll only work for people whose bodies are quickly categorized as "sexy" - otherwise, expect to be instantly CreepZoned(TM).


Not necessarily because it relates to personalities so it will make the girl think about personality types instead of instantly thinking about the looks of the guy who is approaching her.



onechordbassist
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01 Apr 2013, 7:16 pm

Wolfheart wrote:

Not necessarily because it relates to personalities so it will make the girl think about personality types instead of instantly thinking about the looks of the guy who is approaching her.


I'll ask her and then she'll know some things about my personality I'd rather hide. Most of these things will have to do with me being much too gullible to be a good catch :wink:

Plus, there's no such thing as fixed personality "types". Correlation sure, and it's fun to assign these so-called "types" to oneself and people we know, but as soon as you take them seriously there's no need to get to know others better because they're already in their category.



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01 Apr 2013, 7:20 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Or worse, recognized instantly for the cheeeeezy pickup line that it is. It'll only work for people whose bodies are quickly categorized as "sexy" - otherwise, expect to be instantly CreepZoned(TM).


Not necessarily because it relates to personalities so it will make the girl think about personality types instead of instantly thinking about the looks of the guy who is approaching her.


An average person believes very little in the correlation between stars and personalities...

I think the options are that that line will either suggest that you are a) a nutjob b) a creep. Neither will do you any favours.


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Wolfheart
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01 Apr 2013, 7:25 pm

onechordbassist wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:

Not necessarily because it relates to personalities so it will make the girl think about personality types instead of instantly thinking about the looks of the guy who is approaching her.


I'll ask her and then she'll know some things about my personality I'd rather hide. Most of these things will have to do with me being much too gullible to be a good catch :wink:

Plus, there's no such thing as fixed personality "types". Correlation sure, and it's fun to assign these so-called "types" to oneself and people we know, but as soon as you take them seriously there's no need to get to know others better because they're already in their category.


There's plenty of ice breakers..
http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ ... _list.html



Wolfheart
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01 Apr 2013, 7:42 pm

Lilya wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Or worse, recognized instantly for the cheeeeezy pickup line that it is. It'll only work for people whose bodies are quickly categorized as "sexy" - otherwise, expect to be instantly CreepZoned(TM).


Not necessarily because it relates to personalities so it will make the girl think about personality types instead of instantly thinking about the looks of the guy who is approaching her.


An average person believes very little in the correlation between stars and personalities...

I think the options are that that line will either suggest that you are a) a nutjob b) a creep. Neither will do you any favours.


Why do you assume that the OP should go for an average person? maybe he is extraordinary himself and wants someone similar. Maybe some girls would find it more light hearted or fun whereas others would be intrigued by it.



goldfish21
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01 Apr 2013, 7:48 pm

uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Ah, you have so much to learn, young Aspie..

I've been a very scientific mathematical analytical quantifiable show me the hard proof sort of Aspie most of my life, but over the last few years or so I've had some new experiences, met new people with different interests, and have learned a lot about the metaphysical. At first it was almost lol funny to even consider believing any of this stuff, but I decided to be more open to it because of one of my close friends who's quite into these things as well as some experiences I've had in life. Things that most people discount as nonsense are a lot more real than most ever give them credit for. I've read a number of books about them & watched some video series, but I've also experienced and perceived some things first hand that I'd have never believed if I didn't. There's a lot more to the world than the obviousness of what meets the eye. I was once like you, but I know this to be true now. Maybe you'll be fortunate enough to learn the same some year.


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MXH
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01 Apr 2013, 8:51 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
Lilya wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
BlueMax wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Or worse, recognized instantly for the cheeeeezy pickup line that it is. It'll only work for people whose bodies are quickly categorized as "sexy" - otherwise, expect to be instantly CreepZoned(TM).


Not necessarily because it relates to personalities so it will make the girl think about personality types instead of instantly thinking about the looks of the guy who is approaching her.


An average person believes very little in the correlation between stars and personalities...

I think the options are that that line will either suggest that you are a) a nutjob b) a creep. Neither will do you any favours.


Why do you assume that the OP should go for an average person? maybe he is extraordinary himself and wants someone similar. Maybe some girls would find it more light hearted or fun whereas others would be intrigued by it.

And how can you assume he doesn't want someone average or even closed off?



Venger
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01 Apr 2013, 10:13 pm

Lilya wrote:
An average person believes very little in the correlation between stars and personalities...



I think The Moon is the only celestial object whose gravitational pull is strong enough to possibly affect a person's behavior since it's so close to the Earth.



yellowtamarin
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02 Apr 2013, 12:38 am

Wolfheart wrote:

I'm not a fan of many of those, do most women actually respond positively to them? The only ones I liked out of the 20 examples were:

"I'm Joe, happy to meet you."
"Mind if I join you?"
"I've heard this DJ somewhere else; he sounds great."
"Hi."



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03 Apr 2013, 10:27 am

Janissy wrote:
jagatai wrote:
I think the question you need to ask first is not "what do I say" but "what do I hope to achieve in talking to this person?"

My point is that if you find yourself not knowing what to say to a person, it seems to me you have no business talking to that person. But you still want to talk to her. That makes me think your interest is not in discussing any particular topic. Instead it seems like your interest is in interacting with her in the hopes of developing some kind of friendship. That's all very well and good, but if you are to form some kind of useful relationship with her, it must be based on mutual interests. What you choose to talk about with a stranger must usually be based on some kind of shared experience.

To know what to say to a person (of the same or opposite sex) you need to know why you are approaching that person. Sometimes the circumstances are clear. For example, let's say her shirt is on fire. You might approach her and ask if she would like you to fetch a fire extinguisher. Other times there is no clear and pressing reason to speak to her, but social convention allows for strangers to interact to a limited extent. Here, you might pass the table where she is sitting and smile and say hello as you pass. More interaction without a welcoming response from her is not appropriate.

That's the social game that NTs seem to naturally understand and Aspies struggle with on a continual basis. After many years I learned to not overstep these social boundaries. My habit is to err on the side of less interaction rather than more. The result is I don't irritate or creep out people as much as I used to. The down side is that I have less opportunities for interaction. But at least the interactions that I do have with people do not involve a restraining order.

So what do you say to an attractive stranger? What you say is based entirely on the circumstances of the moment. And there has to be a reasonable reason why it would make sense for you to interact with that stranger.

Here is an exchange that I witnessed on a hiking trail that is a good example of doing it wrong. I watched this play out many years ago, but I remember it strongly because I could have just have easily been the guy in this anecdote. A young woman was jogging while listening to a radio with a set of headphones. As she passed by, a guy called out "What kind of radio is that?" She had to slow and kind of turn as she jogged to reply... "I don't know... it's just a radio" before she continued on.

Here's what was wrong in this interaction. The girl was jogging. The guy was not. His attempt to talk to her required that she pause what she was doing when she had an expectation of being able to continue jogging without interruption. Also why was it important that the guy know what sort of radio she was using? And why should she be expected to tell him? It seemed to me that he asked the question simply because he wanted to get her to talk to him. Not because he had a pressing need to know what sort of radio she had. His reason for asking the question had nothing to do with the question itself. It was all about getting her to interact.

What's so wrong with that? Well, really not much. But there is a socially acceptable way to do it and there is a socially awkward way to do it. This guy did it the socially awkward way. Perhaps a more socially acceptable question might be if they happened to be jogging or walking at the same pace he might have said "I've never hiked on this trail. Is there anything interesting to see further down the path?" or "I'm new to the area. Can you recommend any other hiking trails that might be fun?"

Why this approach is socially acceptable is that it is actually a valid reason for talking to a person and there is the shared experience of walking on the same trail. You both are hiking on a trail. It is reasonable to assume the other person may have more experience with trails in the area than you do and can offer an opinion on them. Asking an opinion opens a valid reason for further interaction.

But if she says "No sorry. Can't talk. Have to run..." then don't pursue her. You are free to attempt to open some communication, but she is free to reject it. Pursuing her despite her indicating that it is not welcome will only make things worse. Never insist that people talk to you if they don't seem to want to.

I guess the simple answer to your initial question is you might be able to open up a reason to interact with a stranger by seeking advice. If you are a stranger to the area and you find someone engaged in a similar activity as you, and the stranger seems like the best person to ask, then by all means ask for their opinion on similar activities.

But if you go out of your way to ask the prettiest woman a question that might be more appropriately asked of someone else, she'll quickly figure out what your real agenda is. Only ask her if she seems like the most reasonable person to ask. (She's the nearest person to you or she is wearing a shirt that reads "I'm an expert on the subject you are interested in" etc.) If you are hiking and there are a couple of dudes around and you have to jog ahead to reach the woman you'd rather talk to, she'll probably quickly figure out that you're just trying to talk to her, not really interested in hiking locations.

Okay, so I've probably rambled on enough. I hope some of this helps answer the question.


This explains everything that is needed to know. Read it. Read it again. Learn it. Live it.

quoted again so it won't be missed. the OP should keep in mind that there are a number of women who don't like to be approached by strangers *ever* (only in safe, shared activities like work, school, online dating etc). so if he's relying on approaching women that way, he will always be excluding a certain proportion of people - he will automatically turn some of them off by talking to them at all. plus the cold approach really only works for people who don't give off the wrong vibes (whatever those vibes may be). but if he reallllllly wants to do this, your advice is spot-on.


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minervx
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03 Apr 2013, 1:15 pm

If you can't think of anything relevant to talk about, just be direct and say "I saw you around and I wanted to meet you".

Sure, there's a good chance she'll feel uncomfortable and in that case, remove yourself from the conversation. But there's also a good chance she'll appreciate your honesty. It all depends on her first impression of you.

In any case, it's better than seeing a girl and saying absolutely nothing.



uwmonkdm
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03 Apr 2013, 1:43 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Ah, you have so much to learn, young Aspie..

I've been a very scientific mathematical analytical quantifiable show me the hard proof sort of Aspie most of my life, but over the last few years or so I've had some new experiences, met new people with different interests, and have learned a lot about the metaphysical. At first it was almost lol funny to even consider believing any of this stuff, but I decided to be more open to it because of one of my close friends who's quite into these things as well as some experiences I've had in life. Things that most people discount as nonsense are a lot more real than most ever give them credit for. I've read a number of books about them & watched some video series, but I've also experienced and perceived some things first hand that I'd have never believed if I didn't. There's a lot more to the world than the obviousness of what meets the eye. I was once like you, but I know this to be true now. Maybe you'll be fortunate enough to learn the same some year.


I'm well aware of the history of astrology, its connection to the I Ching and ancient india's time cycles. There are metaphysical ideas at work, yes, but the orientation of constellations at the time of your birth has nothing to do with your personality. Perhaps in the past they did, but life moves much too quickly, and people are conditioned to behave in certain ways so there's no way to know nowadays.
I highly doubt any of this was what Wolfheart was referring to. I've dabbled in Tarot, hermetic mysticism, the I Ching... don't be so quick to imply I'm uneducated :wink:

http://ca.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ ... _list.html
Cookie cutter methods don't work; everyone is different and these tips are based on approaching a woman just for the sake of it because you like the way she looks.



goldfish21
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03 Apr 2013, 2:09 pm

uwmonkdm wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Ah, you have so much to learn, young Aspie..

I've been a very scientific mathematical analytical quantifiable show me the hard proof sort of Aspie most of my life, but over the last few years or so I've had some new experiences, met new people with different interests, and have learned a lot about the metaphysical. At first it was almost lol funny to even consider believing any of this stuff, but I decided to be more open to it because of one of my close friends who's quite into these things as well as some experiences I've had in life. Things that most people discount as nonsense are a lot more real than most ever give them credit for. I've read a number of books about them & watched some video series, but I've also experienced and perceived some things first hand that I'd have never believed if I didn't. There's a lot more to the world than the obviousness of what meets the eye. I was once like you, but I know this to be true now. Maybe you'll be fortunate enough to learn the same some year.


I'm well aware of the history of astrology, its connection to the I Ching and ancient india's time cycles. There are metaphysical ideas at work, yes, but the orientation of constellations at the time of your birth has nothing to do with your personality. Perhaps in the past they did, but life moves much too quickly, and people are conditioned to behave in certain ways so there's no way to know nowadays.
I highly doubt any of this was what Wolfheart was referring to. I've dabbled in Tarot, hermetic mysticism, the I Ching... don't be so quick to imply I'm uneducated :wink:


I don't have any definitive proof that they do, but nor do I that they don't - so I'm still open to the possibility. The moon's gravitational pull on the Earth is powerful enough to move our oceans. It causes plenty of strange behaviours in people and animals, and influences the life cycles of plants and virtually every other organism on the planet. Every planet & star etc has a mass and gravitational pull/magnetic fields etc - it's how they're all hanging out up their in the positions they're in. Physicists know that the most efficient path to travel between planets is where their gravitational forces equalize vs. equidistant between them, so they have an affect great distances from their centres. Who's to say that the positions of the stars relative to our birth date don't have an affect on us? I'm open to that possibility.


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uwmonkdm
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03 Apr 2013, 6:55 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
uwmonkdm wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Try the line "what's your sign?" That will instantly open up a conversation about personality types and something that is interesting to girls.


Plus you'll know if she's a nutjob that believes in Astrology..


Ah, you have so much to learn, young Aspie..

I've been a very scientific mathematical analytical quantifiable show me the hard proof sort of Aspie most of my life, but over the last few years or so I've had some new experiences, met new people with different interests, and have learned a lot about the metaphysical. At first it was almost lol funny to even consider believing any of this stuff, but I decided to be more open to it because of one of my close friends who's quite into these things as well as some experiences I've had in life. Things that most people discount as nonsense are a lot more real than most ever give them credit for. I've read a number of books about them & watched some video series, but I've also experienced and perceived some things first hand that I'd have never believed if I didn't. There's a lot more to the world than the obviousness of what meets the eye. I was once like you, but I know this to be true now. Maybe you'll be fortunate enough to learn the same some year.


I'm well aware of the history of astrology, its connection to the I Ching and ancient india's time cycles. There are metaphysical ideas at work, yes, but the orientation of constellations at the time of your birth has nothing to do with your personality. Perhaps in the past they did, but life moves much too quickly, and people are conditioned to behave in certain ways so there's no way to know nowadays.
I highly doubt any of this was what Wolfheart was referring to. I've dabbled in Tarot, hermetic mysticism, the I Ching... don't be so quick to imply I'm uneducated :wink:


I don't have any definitive proof that they do, but nor do I that they don't - so I'm still open to the possibility. The moon's gravitational pull on the Earth is powerful enough to move our oceans. It causes plenty of strange behaviours in people and animals, and influences the life cycles of plants and virtually every other organism on the planet. Every planet & star etc has a mass and gravitational pull/magnetic fields etc - it's how they're all hanging out up their in the positions they're in. Physicists know that the most efficient path to travel between planets is where their gravitational forces equalize vs. equidistant between them, so they have an affect great distances from their centres. Who's to say that the positions of the stars relative to our birth date don't have an affect on us? I'm open to that possibility.


I suppose, especially from a Hindu or East perspective where everything is one, the idea has some merit. I'm not really going to say that it's possible that gravitational forces can determine someone's personality though, and I don't think that's what astrology says either; it's quite mystical..
As for the time cycles; i.e the precession of the equinox, it is not entirely clear what actually causes it, some hypothesize there is a force/mass outside of our galaxy that causes the 'wobble'.
http://books.google.ca/books?id=mzIAeXD ... &q&f=false
Page 51.
There are of course a lot of crackpots out there, but the assumptions of physicists have been shattered before.. something to think about :shrug:



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03 Apr 2013, 8:52 pm

If I was alone and single and wanting to meet people. I would like , "Hey, would you like some company?" or, "Mind if I sit here next to you?" or a reference to the atomosphere to give an oppurtunity to open up like. "Isn't this music great? Do you like this type?" Or "This music isn't my style much; what do you like :)" I like friendly neutral openers like that which makes me trust and willing to talk to the guy. I would not respond to perverts or people who compliment my looks. I would think they are too superficial or just want one thing.


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