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To declare your AS to a online date or not...

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JDintheQuietCorner
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12 Apr 2013, 3:10 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
I lost a super hot girl who was really into me this way. We had even met in person a few times.

So, I'd say no. It wouldn't have been dishonest. She was basing her reactions on misconceptions about Asperger's in the media that don't apply to me. And, at any rate, if I even have Asperger's, it's quite mild and probably less of a big deal than her severe ADHD.



Tyri0n
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12 Apr 2013, 9:25 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
I lost a super hot girl who was really into me this way. We had even met in person a few times.

So, I'd say no. It wouldn't have been dishonest. She was basing her reactions on misconceptions about Asperger's in the media that don't apply to me. And, at any rate, if I even have Asperger's, it's quite mild and probably less of a big deal than her severe ADHD.

This sounds so familiar it's scary. My first OKCupid experience ended this way almost exactley. Things were going really well till date 3 when she told me about her ADHD. Figured then that if she was disclosing I'd disclose too and low and behold she practically stopped communicating with me after that........... :roll:


A high % of the good-looking girls on OKC have "invisible" blemishes like ADHD and bipolar disorder. I once did a search for "bipolar" and it showed over a dozen profiles in my area, all of them hot. A search for "ADHD" landed nearly a dozen results. And those are just the ones who disclose on their profiles. A search for "asperger's" landed one profile. "Autism" landed a bunch of NT's who work with autistic kids, and "narcissism" landed 3 relevant results. "Prison" landed two, unrelated to the TV show, while "unemployed" and "looking for work" landed nearly two dozen between them. :lol:

I once went out with a bipolar + ADHD girl who was "unemployed" and had been to "prison." And she dumped me after two dates. lol

There are a lot of damaged goods out there. But they still expect perfection.



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12 Apr 2013, 11:42 pm

don't. unless you want to subject yourself to the judgment of a label.

if you're normal and cool, you're normal and cool and don't need a label.



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13 Apr 2013, 2:00 am

A guy with AS is extremely unlikely to be some kind of online-predator, and one of the safest types of people you could meet. But I guess that doesn't count for anything, even though women always claim that they're supposedly worried about guys they meet on the internet turning out to be creeps of some sort. :?



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14 Apr 2013, 9:54 am

Back when I was on OK Cupid, I threw it out there as a litmus test as much as anything else. I'd figured I didn't want to hear from people who would have a problem with it and would rather just weed them out from the beginning.

I did hear from a few cool people who sent interesting, thoughtful messages and were guys I'd like to know, but noticed pretty quickly that the majority of what I got came from guys who obviously had not read my profile at all and just messaged me after glancing at my photo and demographic info. So, really, it wasn't too effective at weeding out all the generic bs, junk mail-type messages at all.

If I were to use that site again, I would probably mention things about myself upfront, but just do it in such a way that didn't explicitly mention my diagnosis.