Do you know any female loners? Are male loners...

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AspieOtaku
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15 Apr 2013, 5:16 am

hyperlexian wrote:

Ratae wrote:

Apparently, the average woman says 6000 words a day compared to men's 2000. I don't really know any female loners. I know they must exist but they seem very rare?

that's a myth. men and women talk about the same amount every day, but on average they talk more than each other in certain contexts.

Quote:

Mark Liberman, professor of phonetics at the University of Pennsylvania, has turned the demolition of the women-talk-threetimes-as-much-as-men fact into a personal crusade. The 20,000 v 7,000 numbers that appear on the book jacket, he says, "have been cited in reviews all over the world, from the New York Times to the Mumbai Mirror". They are rapidly hardening into fact, but where do they come from?

Brizendine's book runs to 280 pages, of which almost a third are notes. Liberman was sure he would find "a reliable source for this statistic" among this battery of supporting data. Instead, according to a piece he wrote in the Boston Globe, all he found was an apparent attribution to a self-help book - Talk Language: How to Use Conversation for Profit and Pleasure by Allan Pease and Alan Garner. He was not impressed.

In the end, he concluded that the figures were probably based on guesswork, likening the "fact" that women talk more than men to the often stated "fact" that the Inuit have 17 words for snow. Both, he said, were myths. The Inuit actually have only one word for snow; and research shows only minute differences between the amount that men and women talk. "Whatever the average female v male difference turns out to be," he concluded, "it will be small compared to the variation among women and among men; and there will also be big differences, for any given individual, from one social setting to another."

...

"Women speak a lot more in areas of social comfort," she says. In other words, in the home and in domestic relationships, it is women who will do most of the talking. Coronation Street's scriptwriters are spot on. Men will hold forth in other forums. She says it is always male students who ask the first questions at her lectures, and says that men will talk so much during courtship that women will barely get a word in.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/ ... ationships

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEIeeYGMMcs[/youtube] I know its silly but ratais analogy reminded me of this!!

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ezbzbfcg2
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15 Apr 2013, 6:02 am

Who_Am_I wrote:

Oh look, another thread about how life is better for women. :roll:

I don't think that's the purpose of this thread. Please don't be reactionary and jump to a conclusion. And he didn't say anything about life being "better" for women, just a notable difference.

While individuals vary, the OP is touching on observational differences in a general sense. Are we to assume it's totally baseless because you misunderstand the premise?

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15 Apr 2013, 6:44 am

I am a loner.

I am capable of small-talk and general social niceties. I believe that I am generally well-regarded at my place of work as being a nice and helpful person. However, I only do those things as far as it is required for me to get along in life. I have 0 friends and am not seeking any. I did the math a couple of weeks ago, actually. It has been 12 years since I've made a new friend and 6 years since I've had one. I feel like I am a lot better off now than in the past when I kept pushing myself to be social and thought that isolation is "wrong" and "unhealthy" as normally championed by society. Only my husband ranks as the singular person whose company I don't actively avoid. And even so I can't particularly say that I enjoy his company more than being alone.

I do believe that this aspect of my personality is easier for society to accept from a young, attractive girl. A man would probably be regarded as extremely creepy to behave in the way that I do.

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GiantHockeyFan
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15 Apr 2013, 7:00 am

redrobin62 wrote:

Come to Seattle. I'm not kidding. Just a cursory walk around town and you see single women dining alone in restaurants. It's the saddest thing. I'm not sure if the numbers are the same as in, say, North Korea. There, 10% of the women will go to their graves as virgins. Still, the ratio of single women to single men is higher in this town. Probably related to the greater number of college grads being female.

I live in a city with a large college presence and while a few months ago I would have laughed at this lately I noticed the same thing. I was at a restaurant with my GF in a large retail area (so no travelers or women on lunch from work) and could not believe my eyes to see numerous attractive young women eating all by themselves. I wish I knew that there were such women years ago as I didn't know there were any "loner" females period.

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15 Apr 2013, 8:01 am

Forever a-loner over here.

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15 Apr 2013, 8:07 am

I am a loner, and I like it that way. I can arrive when I want to and leave when I want to I like having one other person along sometimes, but if the group gets any bigger, I somehow get shut out. .

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15 Apr 2013, 8:15 am

What is wrong with a woman (or anyone) eating alone? I always thought it was silly that some people are so scared to do certain things alone like eat or watch a movie alone. I can understand if it's social anxiety and you want someone to do most of the talking for you but many are just embarrassed to be seen alone, as though people will see them and think they are a friendless loser rather than thinking they are an independent person that will do things on their own rather than go without because they can't find a chaperone.

I do things alone a lot. It's either that or wait for my mother to feel like doing them or not do them at all.

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15 Apr 2013, 8:27 am

hanyo wrote:

I used to (and to a small extent still do) go to movies, hockey games and dinner alone. While I was mercilessly teased when I was younger most people now say "why not?". I've never understood the logic of not doing something I love just because someone else doesn't want to go with me and think it's downright silly to go to a place (like a nightclub) that I hate just because everyone else is going.

Thankfully, people see me less as a 'loner' and more an a 'strong independent man' but there are still some people who seem to think I must be a pedophile or other weirdo to be so good looking yet do most activities alone. I might have a girlfriend but I still enjoy the occasional 'loner' dinner or movie and I'm perfectly happy with it. I honestly never saw a single female doing an activity alone until a few weeks ago.

JanuaryMan
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15 Apr 2013, 8:54 am

I do know a female loner and am usually the +1. Rather not say more than that as they're awesome and it would be unfair

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15 Apr 2013, 8:57 am

Don't know any female loners whatsoever.

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15 Apr 2013, 9:17 am

Ratae wrote:

It seems that it's rarer for a woman to be a true lone wolf than it is a man. Even the shyest, most mouse-like women often seem to have at least a few friends, whereas I know a lot of guys on the internet who have no friends WHATSOEVER in real life. LOTS. I am one of them and have been since about 14 years old. Not by choice, but because I was excluded/bullied a lot from ages 14-21 due to my geeky/unattractive looks/late puberty and aspergers. Over the years I adopted to this and felt better off alone many times. It was better than being bullied for trying to fit in anyway.

It seems if a young woman has no friends whatsoever, she either travels a lot and just talks/has sex with male strangers and stuff, has a really involved job where she still socializes and stuff, or works in some remote area. Otherwise she has some severe mental or physical handicap that prevents that. Such as being housebound due to being 600lbs in weight. I think it's because it's easier for girls to make friends and they're more inclusive than a lot of guys. We live in a more gynocentric world as well. I know women are just as competitive as men, can be mean and exclude others, but it mostly boils down to who looks the prettiest and the jealousy involved in that (for young women anyway).

Apparently, the average woman says 6000 words a day compared to men's 2000. I don't really know any female loners. I know they must exist but they seem very rare?

Secondly, would any females out there give a male loner a chance to date them, or are we just 'creeps' and 'weirdos' to you?

yes, there are female loners out there. from all type. Nt,,aspie. ugly, attractive, fat,skinny,etc. The thing is loner female don't complain as much as the loner male do.
yes, guys they do exist ( I mean real loner women, not the so called loner women who has sex regualary but can't get relationship type , but actual real, no guys ever would touch,date, or have a relationship with loner women)

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15 Apr 2013, 10:25 am

redrobin62 wrote:

*buys plane ticket to Seattle wearing a T-Shirt saying I am single* Hehe

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15 Apr 2013, 4:53 pm

I pass most of my time alone because my natural instinct tells me to do that.
I'm not shy.
I wasn't bullied.
I don't have social anxiety.
I don't hate people.
It's just that I feel like passing most of my time alone, also because most people are boring to me.

I do have a few friends, but I never ring them up (unless I have an actual reason to do so), I very rarely hang out with them, like, once or twice a year.
There are a few people I enjoy talking to, because they're not boring, but I do nothing more than talking to them.
If I talk to other people, it's because I have this constant impulse I can't stop to talk and talk and talk, not because I really want to talk to them.

Most people consider me a loner, but I don't know; usually I don't pass my time thinking about how to classify the way I act.

hanyo wrote:

I eat alone most of the times when I'm not at home. People consider me creepy for that. I just need to stare at them and smile and after a few minutes they come close to and say "could you stop staring at me and smiling? You're annoying".
Sure, the only thing I do when they say that is laughing hard. I've never understood why I look so creepy when I stare.
I only watch movies alone when I'm at home. I've been to the cinema only twice because some classmates had invited me, and I hated the cinema.
There are some places I can't go alone to, though. Like new places I don't know.
I must go there with a freind or someone who knows the place, because I get lost very easily in unfamiliar places.
I don't have social anxiety, therefore I don't understand the concept of "wanting someone to do most of the talking".
I just know that, when I go to a new place to do something and I should meet new people, my parents often tell me "shut up and don't speak, let me speak instead".
Ahw well.

AinsleyHarte
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15 Apr 2013, 5:53 pm

I've gotten to the point where the only time I interact with people is when I'm leaving my room to make a beeline to and from the kitchen/restroom/etc, and it usually is brief, unwanted, and all-together quite annoying. Who really wants to be stopped for small talk when you're in dire need of a sandwich? Not this girl.

My list of friends includes a friend I've known for seven years (whom I live with,) my sister, and my cat... and maybe two people that I only talk to online.

So yeah, I guess I'd consider myself a 'female loner.'

Also: yay, Seattle. I miss living there. I'm hoping I can move back soon.

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LunaOsa
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15 Apr 2013, 6:37 pm

Generally, I'm a loner.

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15 Apr 2013, 7:00 pm

I have a question to everyone that's always on and on about the gender war. Do you people really think somethings going to change if you prove anything? Let's hypothetically say someone finds a way to post undeniable proof about every man and woman aged 14 and above that's alive and somehow make numbers to back up the idea that women have it easier. What's that going to do for you? Are you suddenly going to be successful for it? Get a medal? Hell even a cookie? No, simply put its wasting your own time that you could be working on making yourself the best possible version of you instead of trying to take away from others and bring hem down to your level.

And this same thing applies to a lot more than just dating. Stop being jealous and taking away from and spend that time working on becoming that.

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