I feel my realationship with my aspie bf is a rollercoaster

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Popsicle
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01 May 2013, 7:20 pm

aspiegf2012 wrote:

HE thinks that I think he's a loser and a bad boyfriend


Could he also be borderline? That sounds like typical borderline.

It sounds pretty complex to me. Can one or both of you go to counseling?



aspiegf2012
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02 May 2013, 1:48 am

Popsicle wrote:
aspiegf2012 wrote:

HE thinks that I think he's a loser and a bad boyfriend


Could he also be borderline? That sounds like typical borderline.

It sounds pretty complex to me. Can one or both of you go to counseling?


Due to finances (we're both college students) we couldn't afford it if we wanted to



Popsicle
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02 May 2013, 6:56 am

Colleges have free counseling don't they? Mine did.



aspiegf2012
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02 May 2013, 12:14 pm

cakey wrote:
Great stuff here. May I continue to add to this thread by asking what if the AS partner is depressed about something he/she can't control(ie. Grades that were Bad, financial status, perhaps even apearance) that they dwell and complain about it and can't seem to believe others around them? What is the best thing to do other than convince them about the positives?

Yes!



JanuaryMan
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02 May 2013, 12:17 pm

I think rightgalaxy covered this best. He's always going to be this way.



aspiegf2012
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02 May 2013, 3:16 pm

Popsicle wrote:
Colleges have free counseling don't they? Mine did.


In all honestly I don't think he'd be up for it either
he's very hard to convince
however, I might look into it.



aspiegf2012
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02 May 2013, 3:19 pm

Metis wrote:
The key thing is to remember that chronic depression is a fact of life for Aspies.

I will say, though, don't try to talk him out of his depression; it won't work. If you can, endure it, and, if he's worth it, try to love him as best you can. He's loving you the best he can.

He is worth it
I do love him so much
I am so glad I found this website it all of you are so helpful!!



aspiegf2012
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02 May 2013, 3:39 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Let him post in this thread.


I want to tell him about this entire website! it's great! I think I would help him a ton
but I just don't know/want to find out how he'd react so for now I think I should just keep it on the hush ha :) :)



PsychoSarah
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02 May 2013, 3:42 pm

aspiegf2012 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Let him post in this thread.


I want to tell him about this entire website! it's great! I think I would help him a ton
but I just don't know/want to find out how he'd react so for now I think I should just keep it on the hush ha :) :)


Just mention it, and be as direct as possible.



aspiegf2012
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02 May 2013, 3:48 pm

PsychoSarah wrote:
aspiegf2012 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Let him post in this thread.


I want to tell him about this entire website! it's great! I think I would help him a ton
but I just don't know/want to find out how he'd react so for now I think I should just keep it on the hush ha :) :)


Just mention it, and be as direct as possible.


I don't know.....
I just feel like he'd be mad or something if he knew I was on the internet trying to find out ways to "deal" with him



FreeSpirit2000
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03 May 2013, 11:21 pm

aspiegf2012 wrote:
Hello friends,
When I first met my bf, in all honestly I didn't even know he has aspergers until he told me
I didn't really know much about it (except for what i've seen from Degrassi episodes)
He seemed (at the time) like he had a pretty normal life (a nice group of friends etc.)
but we have been together for almost a year and mostly I feel like it's going in a downwards spiral
We will have periods in our relationship for like a 2-3 week period in which everything will seem almost perfect and then all of a sudden he will go into this mood thinking everyone hates him at work his friends think he's a looser and I think he's a looser and that he's a bad boyfriend.

I try so had to help him out of these stinks but I just don't know what to say to him anymore
I love him so much and I want this relationship to work
like what can I do?????

Edit:
Also as far as our relationship goes, it's loving, whimiscal, and happy go-lucky
we're both in college (he's 21 i'm 19)
we jokingly insult each other at times but Idk could I be secretly hurting his feelings and making him feel worse? should I try to be more sensitive towards him?
Sex is pretty great (tmi *shrugs*)
as far as his friends go...as I said when I FIRST met him he had a nice group of friends
it seems like most, but not all of them have kind of drifted off and doing their own thing (since they're all at different colleges and such)
He has this new small circle but he feels at times they don't really like him and yesterday he told me he "cut them off"
I just really worry about him feeling lonely

He understands that he has me and that i'm there for him at what not but he longs for a group of guy friends

He's also had 2 previous suicide attempts
one before I met him and one back in December...I know he's in a better place since then but should I be worried

and as far as medication goes he's taking I know he's on trazadone


What should happen is when it comes to your boyfriend, you should probably go try to see what is stressing him out, and point out ways to avoid all the things that are stressing him out. Also, he should maybe quit his part time job if the work environment is like hell as well, to top it off. Try to help him settle many things that is wrong w/ his life and do not feel guilty for anything, in any shape, way or form. You should learn how to protect your relationship if you ask me.



Kinme
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04 May 2013, 5:24 am

Metis wrote:
The key thing is to remember that chronic depression is a fact of life for Aspies.

I will say, though, don't try to talk him out of his depression; it won't work. If you can, endure it, and, if he's worth it, try to love him as best you can. He's loving you the best he can.


Yes, this.