Critique my OKCupid round 3 (or is it 4 now)

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How about you ignore Boo, since he can be a jerk about this stuff.

overall, it's a solid profile.

my suggestion is to add more photos.

Hmm no no.

I was talking JUST about the running pics.

You probably forgot but If you check the previous threads, I said very positive things about you and your profile back then. Your career is very interesting (FILM MAKING!) that alone would bring you and let you to have plenty of subjects and adventures to talk about on a date and it does differentiate you from many others - it is not a common career after all.

Your filmaking pics are totally cool.

However, on dating sites, girls would seek for the slightest things to disqualify you since every one of them have like other 10 options, like it or not, it's the reality.

In that case your running pics might be that slightest thing, there's nothing wrong about your body but in your sport clothing choices and the facial expressions of the shot moments.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 09 May 2013, 9:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

The reason I said to remove the running pics is because it shows you in positions of fatigue or pulling funny faces (as you would do when exerting a lot of energy in sport) and instead of making you look interesting it would put many women off, to boot with what Boo said there are other guys in those photos stealing the limelight. You're not an ugly guy, but those pics don't show the best in you. Your pics of photography and your social circles do, though. They make you look important, mild mannered, interesting, popular and definitely approachable, as well as good enough looking. The running pics fail in all those aspects unfortunately - and don't get me wrong what you're doing as a runner is great but it's better to talk about that after a few dates and maybe show the pics then. Give them a chance to see how you look in person before scaring them with photos that don't do you justice.

As for me cutting down your profile to those things? You're welcome. You have a lot to say about your life. It's miles more interesting than mine. But if you say too much in one go you risk implying or doing many things:
-Coming across as too self involved
-Boring your readers (no one wants to read that much about a person on the first go unless they are a stalker or obsessed)
-Where would you find time for them?
-Coming across as too intense and unable to keep it cool, keep it simple, keep it fun

I hope I didn't come across as bossy or Hitch or anything. Good luck with the new profile

Im sorry but I have to say this:

On the first thing people notice about me people talk about their most prominent features/what makes them a good catch.

Being reserved is something that most people see as a dealbreaker.


They want someone they can share their feelings/talk to and a man who describes himself as a reserved person should reconsider how he sees himself/comes accross to others before trying to go into any further dates.

You talked about how some females went out in a couple of dates with you and dropped contact.
Quite some people have dropped contact with me(and we were just friends, usually of the same sex) because I come accross as a reserved person too

Hmm. Yeah come to think of it, reserved isn't a desirable quality for a lover.

Brian, if you want really improvements, you have to accept the peer review no matter how harsh they sound.

I once posted a silly posting that i wanted to add to my profile, the general feedback was negative, so I've removed it.

Boo i appreciate your honesty. You're bluntness has been what I've needed. It's the damndest thing, but I'm a really, really good runner, but I take horrible, horrible pictures, like I'm about to vomit.

I am so flattered.

Well ..yeah... this how you looked exactly like in those pictures .

Since you're a frequent runner then you can take better pictures anytime, come on, use your filmaking sense! You're an upcoming director after all and you certainly have friends who are good at taking photos, buy more trendy sport clothes: less baggy and more revealing shirt, avoid tight shorts and flashy colors and you would look pretty fine, sunglasses or sporty glasses wouldn't hurt too.

Don't be.

Ooo, I am so scared.

Lots of actionable suggestions for tweaking from other posters. There isn't anything wrong with your profile. The thing wrong (which is not apparent in your profile) is that you are trying to sell yourself as worthy as though you were in a movie where the hero gets the girl after he has shown he is worthy by completing the quest. That works great in narratives. But in real life it isn't what people are looking for. Women aren't captive princesses waiting for the hero to prove his worth by rescuing them from the castle. They are ordinary people looking for someone who is compatible with them so that they can make a life together (speaking only of the ones looking for Long Term Relationship or whatever the wording is, which is clearly what you are looking for too). There is no such thing as worthy versus not worthy. Rather there is somebody I can see myself spending a lot of time with versus somebody I don't want to spend any time with.

What you need to convey to women is some sense of what a date and then a relationship with you would be like so they can evaluate whether that is what they want from a relationship or not. I think your profile is actually fairly good at that. It's clear from your profile that whoever dates you will spend a lot of time watching movies with you, possibly obscure ones that are shown only in museums. She might wind up going running with you but not nearly so often as she would see movies with you. She might wind up on the set of some incredibly obscure small film (you include photos that seem to be taken at sets). That's all good.

I suspect that where things go wrong is not the profile. It's the messaging. Your profile is nicely focused and should attract a fellow cinephile. But then you cast way too wide a net with the messaging and try to reel in any woman who notices you exist (via profile) with no thought to compatibility at all, only to thinking you have to be "good enough". I'm thinking of previous threads and especially the most recent one where you were devastated that somebody who had literally nothing in common with you but an interest in Dr. Who didn't want to attempt a relationship (even a platonic one) and cited her belief you were incompatible. But you should have assumed she was right- that you and her are incompatible. Instead of thinking that her dismissal meant you were not worthy of love (yikes!) I wish you could have seen it for what it really was- her unwillingness to spend lots and lots of time watching and talking about movies (or whatever she saw the incompatibility as). Focus on trying to find the woman who is right for you not just somebody who glances at your profile with mild but unsustainable interest. Don't try to be all things to all people. Send messages looking for compatibility, not merely trying to hold tight to anyone who messages you.

I personally think that having running photos is a good thing, since it shows that it's something you're passionate about and also shows that you're in good physical shape. I do agree though that the running photos could use improvement, but I still think, personally, that it's better to leave up at least one of the current ones rather than remove them entirely. Try to get a running pic like this guy (lol): http://memecrunch.com/meme/6JCC/photoge ... /image.png

He doesn't even look like a real person - he lookes like the photoshop creation of an ad agency

Brianruns10;

There really isn't anything wrong with your profile. The problem with online dating is the ratio of men to women is 10:1. Women who use online dating services are fickle and difficult to impress and are usually looking for something/ someone very specific. There isn't really anything you can do.