should women hide their feelings?

Post Reply New Topic

I beg to differ on this one point- it went well for me when a fellow WPer approached me [did the "connecting" as it were], as I totally lack the connection thingie that enables a normally functioning man [aspie or NT] to approach another potential mate. so she saved me from myself and my natural inability to connect with another person.

That's why I wrote a disclaimer. :)

This is exciting news! I had hoped there would be some exceptions in the world of AS! Congratulations! =)

I like that idea way better.... to find someone exceptional & just be who you are, because at some point, someone will appreciate that... AND you started off being you instead of with a bunch of nonsense anyway. :D

^^^
thank you I believe we [me and her] are both are on the spectrum. I am weak where she is strong, and vice-versa, so there is a symbiosis going on.

That's great! :) It sounds like you really respect her, too! What a refreshing change from some of the other threads of been on lately! haha I believe that in the best kind of relationship, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It sounds like you two are very lucky to have found each other!

Technically, men shouldn't hide their feelings, even though society demands it. It creates added stress. Also, guys often don't do so good with subtle hints, so you might as well be obvious about it.

it was like winning the lotto for me, one day this just ended up in my lap like a gift basket from above

Yaay for y'all. You are such a kind, wise person, I was surprised you seemed so lonesome. But my heart just broke a little.

thank you
i'm sorry your heart has an owie.
before I met alpineglow, I lacked any glow, to answer your comment about me seeming "so lonesome" - IOW I was a hermit in a tin can out in the woods with nobody to talk to [aside from my biweekly square pegs aspie meetups in Olympia] and no prospects for any change to that situation in this lifetime. until I got on wrong planet and waited a bit. or more than a bit, actually [over 3 years]. then the miracle happened.

Just be who you are and if you feel that you might come off as too unemotional then you may want to make a little bit of effort with your facial expressions. You can't just automatically get feelings for something if you really don't but you should try and show interest, empathy and sympathy even if you have to fake it just a little bit and that's not even saying you don't feel any at all, you probably do. Just try to "act" a bit more with your facial expressions and tone of voice if you know what I mean. It'll eventually come naturally for you to do certain expressions in certain situations. I hope I wasn't too confusing for you.

after our first 'big fight' my aspie bf asked me if i knew deep down that he likes me (while rubbing my chest). i said yes, and that i am going in deep. days later i told him that i love him. i told him, because it doesn't matter the outcome. i love because i love....

auntblabby, is that a real picture of you?

hah! And I thought I would find "different" questions

It took me two days to approach the section just to find out it's the same on both sides

In my experience this is the oldest question and the most frequently asked one, really, if there was a love FAQ book this would be number 1

What's the answer, what everybody else said... I may not be the queen of romance, since all of my relationships (except for the current one) naufragated owing to my so called "weird habits and routine", still guys since my early twenties just seemed unable to keep a distance.
Since everybody else already gave you the best answer you could ever receive "just be who you are and do what you feel is right" (really, that's all folks ) I will give you something I used to grasp on when I felt down for "heart" issues:

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it means, Bones, that you know, you can love a lot of people in this world, but there's only one person you love the most.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But how do you know which person you love the most when you're confused by chemical messages travelling throughout your limbic system?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just do.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...What if you let that person get away?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That person's not going anywhere.

And this one just out of one of my rare romance moments:

Bones: "When you love someone, you open yourself up to suffering – that’s the sad truth. Maybe they’ll break your heart, or maybe you’ll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way. Those are the risks. You see two people and you think, “they belong together,” but nothing happens. The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable. That’s the burden. Like wings, they have weight. We feel that weight on our backs but they are a burden that lifts us. A burden that allows us to fly."

Ugh, not reading all of that.

yup.

That's an awesome picture.

I do envy that. I hate that I'm expected to just wait until he makes a move. I would like to say, "hey do you want to catch a coffee?" But the last time I did that the guy looked away shyly and said "no it's ok." That was about 5 years ago. I've decided that I'm not making the moves anymore. Waste of my time. I like my friend's friend, I don't know him that well, but what I do know I like, but I think he'd die of shock if I actually invited him out somewhere, even if there were others going. I've decided he's just not that into me and I will move on.

I've got to the point with romance that it's really not worth the hassle.