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dating is competive. ( rewording)

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1401b
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26 May 2013, 5:13 pm

Drat I missed the 'offensive' post! lol

men and women are divided pretty evenly 50%/50%ish so there's about one for each person.
And all dating/courtship is competitive, human and otherwise.

Every creature discovers that success chance increases with the lowering of 'standards'.

Since I missed your original post, I think I missed your original point.


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MXH
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26 May 2013, 5:14 pm

1401b wrote:
Drat I missed the 'offensive' post! lol

men and women are divided pretty evenly 50%/50%ish so there's about one for each person.
And all dating/courtship is competitive, human and otherwise.

Every creature discovers that success chance increases with the lowering of 'standards'.

Since I missed your original post, I think I missed your original point.

I don't think there ever was a point.



billiscool
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26 May 2013, 5:25 pm

MXH wrote:
1401b wrote:
Drat I missed the 'offensive' post! lol

men and women are divided pretty evenly 50%/50%ish so there's about one for each person.
And all dating/courtship is competitive, human and otherwise.

Every creature discovers that success chance increases with the lowering of 'standards'.

Since I missed your original post, I think I missed your original point.

I don't think there ever was a point.


there was, but I delete it. I didn't word it the right way.
in a nutshell. there are too many better social skill men that
also like the same type of women I do.

so, they get the girl, and I get a new female friend, and new male friend as well.
so, the better social skill nt guy and his eccentric geeky g.f get married.
but I like the eccentric geeky girl but I can't compete against better men,
so I just bow out and wish them luck.



1401b
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26 May 2013, 5:34 pm

aspiemike wrote:
I would think there are two reasons others might be more successful in dating compared to you.

1. Other men know what they want and they go for it. It does sound like that you don't know what you want you in a girl.
2. Other men have learned how to connect with others and do their best to compromise and understand a girl better than you do.

    I can think of a third possibiity.
    What is your definition of "success"?

    If a man you don't know, leaves a party with a woman you don't know, how do you know what happened?
    She may have slapped his face 5 minutes later, and didn't have the heart to go back to the party.
    Was that a "success" for him?

    What is your definition of "success" for you? One "date"? Six dates? 2 year relationship? Marriage?
    If your definition of success for others is not the exact same as it is for you, then how can you possibly compare?
    I suspect that your definitions are not exactly the same, and that you are not being fair to yourself, stop that! =)

    It's Occam's Razor, I win!

    Besides it makes it sound like a big, fat, pity party. No chick likes that.


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1401b
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26 May 2013, 6:00 pm

Or I'm wrong...

besides, if he's now married he's outta the loop and you can run wild! =)


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aspiemike
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26 May 2013, 6:49 pm

1401b wrote:
aspiemike wrote:
I would think there are two reasons others might be more successful in dating compared to you.

1. Other men know what they want and they go for it. It does sound like that you don't know what you want you in a girl.
2. Other men have learned how to connect with others and do their best to compromise and understand a girl better than you do.

    I can think of a third possibiity.
    What is your definition of "success"?

    If a man you don't know, leaves a party with a woman you don't know, how do you know what happened?
    She may have slapped his face 5 minutes later, and didn't have the heart to go back to the party.
    Was that a "success" for him?

    What is your definition of "success" for you? One "date"? Six dates? 2 year relationship? Marriage?
    If your definition of success for others is not the exact same as it is for you, then how can you possibly compare?
    I suspect that your definitions are not exactly the same, and that you are not being fair to yourself, stop that! =)

    It's Occam's Razor, I win!

    Besides it makes it sound like a big, fat, pity party. No chick likes that.


Definitions of success does vary from person to person and you are correct on that one.



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26 May 2013, 7:54 pm

Quote:
ut it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.


Yes, it does suck when there are people out there who are better equipped to get what I want than I am. But that's life for you.


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billiscool
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26 May 2013, 8:03 pm

I think is true for all type of men. Even nt men, can have hard time talking to women.
But what the sucks the most, not only do men have to learn have good social skill around women,
we also have to compete against other men who are also chasing after the same woman.

a girl can walk into a bar and have 5 guys hittin on her, and now she has 5 guys to pick from,
and there can only be one winner. ( or none)

I would love to date an eccentric woman, but so do alot of others guys. so I have to compete against
other guys. so maybe I just stick with being a friend guy, dating is too f up in any more.



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28 May 2013, 2:16 am

billiscool wrote:
since my original thread, might have offended some people. I decide to delete it. I wasn't trying too.

I try to reword so it won't be as offensive: but it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.


Not all women are equal either. Dating really isn't competitive. Where problems start is when people are not self aware and do not know the right fit for them (I am quite guilty of this as well). Most dating problems can be traced to lack of self-awareness.



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28 May 2013, 2:22 am

Tyri0n wrote:
billiscool wrote:
since my original thread, might have offended some people. I decide to delete it. I wasn't trying too.

I try to reword so it won't be as offensive: but it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.


Not all women are equal either. Dating really isn't competitive. Where problems start is when people are not self aware and do not know the right fit for them (I am quite guilty of this as well). Most dating problems can be traced to lack of self-awareness.


I agree with the self-awareness part but I don't agree that dating isn't competitive.



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28 May 2013, 2:31 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
billiscool wrote:
since my original thread, might have offended some people. I decide to delete it. I wasn't trying too.

I try to reword so it won't be as offensive: but it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.


Not all women are equal either. Dating really isn't competitive. Where problems start is when people are not self aware and do not know the right fit for them (I am quite guilty of this as well). Most dating problems can be traced to lack of self-awareness.


I agree with the self-awareness part but I don't agree that dating isn't competitive.


Dating quality women/men is very competitive. Just getting any kind of date isn't, really. Just depends on how low you are willing to lower your standards. I think where you live kind of sucks in some ways as far as an open-minded secular person dating. I have no doubt that if you lived here in Austin, you would have gorgeous girls all over you constantly. :lol:



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28 May 2013, 3:44 am

Tyri0n wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
billiscool wrote:
since my original thread, might have offended some people. I decide to delete it. I wasn't trying too.

I try to reword so it won't be as offensive: but it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.


Not all women are equal either. Dating really isn't competitive. Where problems start is when people are not self aware and do not know the right fit for them (I am quite guilty of this as well). Most dating problems can be traced to lack of self-awareness.


I agree with the self-awareness part but I don't agree that dating isn't competitive.


Dating quality women/men is very competitive. Just getting any kind of date isn't, really. Just depends on how low you are willing to lower your standards. I think where you live kind of sucks in some ways as far as an open-minded secular person dating. I have no doubt that if you lived here in Austin, you would have gorgeous girls all over you constantly. :lol:


I don't believe it's the area, my social skills would remain the same everywhere.

And I don't think in TX gorgeous girls will pile over me constantly; this is projected case of the grass is always greener on the other side.



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28 May 2013, 3:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
billiscool wrote:
since my original thread, might have offended some people. I decide to delete it. I wasn't trying too.

I try to reword so it won't be as offensive: but it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.


Not all women are equal either. Dating really isn't competitive. Where problems start is when people are not self aware and do not know the right fit for them (I am quite guilty of this as well). Most dating problems can be traced to lack of self-awareness.


I agree with the self-awareness part but I don't agree that dating isn't competitive.


Dating quality women/men is very competitive. Just getting any kind of date isn't, really. Just depends on how low you are willing to lower your standards. I think where you live kind of sucks in some ways as far as an open-minded secular person dating. I have no doubt that if you lived here in Austin, you would have gorgeous girls all over you constantly. :lol:


I don't believe it's the area, my social skills would remain the same everywhere.

And I don't think in TX gorgeous girls will pile over me constantly; this is projected case of the grass is always greener on the other side.


You may not give yourself enough credit. Besides, there are tons of single women in Austin. And any lack of social skills would probably be attributed to cultural differences. Plus, it seems like a lot of American women are very attracted to Middle Eastern men. I am sure you would do quite well here. You should look at the OKC profiles here. There are literally thousands of them.



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28 May 2013, 4:47 am

Tyri0n wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
billiscool wrote:
since my original thread, might have offended some people. I decide to delete it. I wasn't trying too.

I try to reword so it won't be as offensive: but it does sucks when you so many men out there,who have better social skills than me, smarter and make more money than me.
that also likes the same type of women I like.


Not all women are equal either. Dating really isn't competitive. Where problems start is when people are not self aware and do not know the right fit for them (I am quite guilty of this as well). Most dating problems can be traced to lack of self-awareness.


I agree with the self-awareness part but I don't agree that dating isn't competitive.


Dating quality women/men is very competitive. Just getting any kind of date isn't, really. Just depends on how low you are willing to lower your standards. I think where you live kind of sucks in some ways as far as an open-minded secular person dating. I have no doubt that if you lived here in Austin, you would have gorgeous girls all over you constantly. :lol:


I don't believe it's the area, my social skills would remain the same everywhere.

And I don't think in TX gorgeous girls will pile over me constantly; this is projected case of the grass is always greener on the other side.


You may not give yourself enough credit. Besides, there are tons of single women in Austin. And any lack of social skills would probably be attributed to cultural differences. Plus, it seems like a lot of American women are very attracted to Middle Eastern men. I am sure you would do quite well here. You should look at the OKC profiles here. There are literally thousands of them.



vs thousands of male profiles.

But numbers is always good for diversity of options, I give you that.



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28 May 2013, 8:48 am

I'm also of the opinion that Boo would do really well with American women........ Any eccentricities would be dismissed as him being a silly foreignor.

billiscool wrote:
aspiemike wrote:
I would think there are two reasons others might be more successful in dating compared to you.

1. Other men know what they want and they go for it. It does sound like that you don't know what you want you in a girl.
2. Other men have learned how to connect with others and do their best to compromise and understand a girl better than you do.


and the same men are going after the same type of women That I Like. ( eccentric women)
I like geeky and eccentric women. but so do alot of other guys, and most guys are better than me in the social skill area.
so they get the girl, and I get nothing, but a new female friend.


God forbid....... :roll:



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28 May 2013, 9:02 am

billiscool wrote:
PinkeySherbet wrote:

^ All of this. Geeky/eccentric/non-NT women are not lesser than NT women. I am an Aspie, fat, eccentric, weird, geeky woman and have a gorgeous, talented and amazing boyfriend who is also an Aspie. He thinks I'm beautiful and I agree. So I'm going to venture a wild guess and say the reason your chances with women are so slim is because you keep looking at women as prizes to be won and not actual human beings.


no, I like asperger women, I like eccentric women, I just hate competing against other men. and also the fact, that many men
are above me in social ladder, make money than me, and are smarter than me. have a better chance of dating any type of women,
than I do.


There is a black man, who works at the Family Dollar. He is skinny and wears fingerless gloves. He also wears a winter hat in the summer. He is the kindest man I know of. On top of being the guy who listens to anyone's problems when they need a shoulder to cry on, he has to take care of three kids. He gets paid minimum wage, and has three kids to feed, yet it has not turned him sour, not to the least extent. He is a good man. If that man can get a lady looking like a homeless man who makes minimum wage, and raise three kids on top of it, you should be able to do better. The man I speak of deserves better himself, yet he is happy with his life.


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