How to go about finding a non-sexual partner...

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I do feel sexual arousal sometimes, but I never have any desire to engage in sexual intercourse when I'm aroused, and I don't think the idea would actually have occurred to me if I didn't know that was the 'norm' in society. Likewise I don't get turned on at all by the idea of having sex. The best way I can describe it is that the two concepts just aren't linked in my mind.

I don't think this is all that unusual amongst people who identify as asexual - some never experience arousal at all, while others do, but without any interest in actually having sex.

Thanks for responding.

I remember a long time ago, high school age or so, I had a girl tease me in a sort-of flirty way and the attention made me feel aroused (though I didn't say anything back really as I was self-conscious and wasn't sure if I was just being messed with). Just looking at a women's body isn't quite enough though, not even naked. It's nice but not intensely arousing like it should be for men. It's not low testosterone though as I've always had non-sexual fetish-type fantasies that aroused me enough to masturbate ( but would be pretty much irrelevant in a relationship and not at all important to my sexual identity ). Sorry to be blunt but I have to explain everything for people to possibly understand. I have trouble being this blunt in explaining IRL so it's frustrating.

At this point I don't know if I could ever have sex or not. It's possible but I can't guarantee to anyone that it will ever happen. I don't want to date someone who can't accept this. It's a serious concern that bothers me and I get highly irritated IRL when I've tried to explain it only to be accused of "thinking too far ahead". I don't think I'm just over thinking and from reading information online I have found that other so-called "demisexuals" have problems in their relationships when they don't come right out and explain everything up front. Of course as a heterosexual guy I have insecurity about this which is what's prevented me from ever bothering with girls in the past (I'm 33 years old now), but I think it's a real concern as well.

I'm just glad knowledge and understanding of this kind of thing is at least spreading on the internet.

Now, come to think of it, the very title "non-sexual" is misleading. That would imply zero sexual attraction. That isn't the case for me. Cuddling could be sexual to me. The main issue isn't complete lack of sexual attraction, it's the notion of eventually having to commit to marriage and actual sexual intercourse. Not that there's a 100% chance it will never happen. I also don't want people to assume I just want to voluntarily abstain from sex for personal or religious reasons. I'm not religious at all and have quite liberal values.

Telling the OP that is sort of like telling a gay man he just hasn't met the right woman yet. Not sure it's all that helpful for him.

OP, like you seem to realize, there are women out there who are in the same boat, faking it through the sexual aspects of their relationships and who might find what you are looking for to be sort of a relief. Not sure how to go about finding one, though, unless it's through an Internet forum. Does AVEN have a personals section? I'm guessing you'd be hard-pressed to find someone in your local area, though, just as it would be on WP.

A couple of websites to try:
Celibate Passions
http://www.celibatepassions.com/
Platonic Partners
https://www.platonicpartners.co.uk/

On rare occasions, I have come across profiles on http://www.okcupid.com and http://www.pof.com , in which the person states that she is asexual and is looking for a romantic, asexual relationship. Also, some dating websites use your responses to questions about your sex drive to try to match you with other people who have a similar sex drive.

Anyway, best of luck with your search.

It sounds like Marshall and Seashell are compatible. Why don't you hook up?

^^^ If we knew where she lived. I could theoretically move back to the Seattle area where I lived for graduate school. I really really love hiking and being in the mountains so I would kind of need a partner who would be up for that kind of thing. I'm stuck in Michigan at the moment though.

Unfortunately I live in London, UK. It's a shame because I love mountains too - it would've been nice to have someone to go hiking with apart from my parents.