Why NT`s are not atracted to aspies?

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Well some NTs do love Aspies.

This is true,NT`s care too much about their appearence in front of other people,and are too selfish to deal with someone`s problems.There are a few exceptions but they are extremely hard to find.

SMH......

I think one of the biggest issues is that NTs don't understand AS. Us Aspies tend to be direct & straightforward whereas NTs are more subtle. The NTs misinterpret what the Aspie says & way they act as being a jerk/ass/not caring about them ect

I don't consider that selfish, I consider it self-respecting. A compassionate society is one that understands that people have struggles and may appear differently than first expected, but an unhealthy society is one where people consider other people's problems their responsibility above their own. If someone doesn't take care of themselves they typically can't rely on anyone to do it for them. It makes it far easier to get into unhealthy, draining friendships and relationships when that's the expectation.

Many personal struggles are within the self and therefore can only be accessed on a meaningful level by the one experiencing them. Outside assistance can help, but it's first and foremost theirs.

Last edited by Cilantro on 08 Jun 2013, 7:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.

+1

^^^^This

Hmm actually I was saying that from the view point of a close minded person. Someone who does not have empathy for others. If you do indeed have problems which you yourself can't handle, then I would recommend not entering into a relationship where you cannot deal with someone else's. My role here was to play devil's advocate.

SMH....good job!

I don't get what SMH means XD

It means "shaking my head". You know kind of how you don't know what to say so you just smile and shake your head back and forth?

Were weird hyperactive at times when were happy and act chilish and immature I think thats why most NTs dont like us. The ones that do like us because of our routines making us predictable also mea.ing trust worthy in the eyes of an NT.

Some here say that about NTs esepcially groups of NT girls

But the thing is not everyone can deal with their problems completely on their own. Most people tend to cope with stress better when they are socially connected. This is shown in scientific studies. This idea that you can't have friends because you might be a burden on them is damaging. It can drive some people to suicidal thoughts. Why the hell should I think that I don't deserve friends and shouldn't even try for fear of rejection because I happen to suffer from depression? That kind of mindset just makes things magnitudes worse. It causes a vicious circle that traps people. With this attitude so prevalent it's no wonder there are so many depressed people in our society. Not just people with AS but all kinds of people. This "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality is horrible and not even scientifically sound. Emotions actually do matter. Being socially connected does matter in terms of functioning and avoiding depression so you can be a productive member of society. Our society doesn't have a problem of being too generous. It has a problem of ramped narcissism and selfishness.

Sometimes childish and immature are a breath a fresh air....just as long as there is more to the person than those behaviors. I've been told I'm 'silly' but then I've been told that I can make people laugh and am fun to be around. So I'll take 'silly'.

WHY SO SERIOUS?!?!?!

NT's are probably attracted to Aspies in equal proportion to other NT's. The difference is probably perception. You didn't notice the hints or attraction indicators. He/She walked out disapointed that you completely ignored them.

But after contact is made; and it becomes evident that this person is not "normal" in the traditional sence. You can do one of three things; take the easy road and say thanks but no thanks. Keep a close friendship as see if the difficulties can be ironed out. Take on the challange and try to make this work.

I have no data what proportion of the obove list people will do. But I can see that from initial contact, to making an attempt, a lot of possible suiters have been weeded out of the lineup before anything even gets serious.

So, I think it is perception your seeing, not the reality of attraction.