"Please help me with my AS boyfriend!" posts

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ShamelessGit
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18 Jul 2013, 9:12 pm

I never thought the posts by NT about their AS boyfriends were offensive or inconsiderate.



albedo
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19 Jul 2013, 5:30 pm

The only thing that will help is more advocacy.

However by advocacy I don't mean a sugar coated PC advocacy. But a realistic one.

Personally I think the best advocacy, comes from dialogue, rather than some PR campaign.



ntgrl
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21 Jul 2013, 10:10 pm

I was one of those people who came here in 2009 looking for advice. I did/do interact with some amazingly helpful people. I do know that my ex and I are not compatible and that relationship was never going to work. I did need more than he could give, but he could give very little.

About this time last year I wanted to post something very positive about AS/NT relationships, so I did. Then I got some very hurtful comments about what I wrote being more like a I think he called it "diary entry" so I deleted the post.

For what it is worth, I am in a very happy relationship now. I have been for two years and some people here were very helpful to me.

:D



Tyri0n
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21 Jul 2013, 11:22 pm

Kjas wrote:
I think even if you post a list of resources (which would be helpful), it's never going to actually solve the problem.

The problem is that these people come here and simply do not have the natural amount of empathy and compassion and thoughtfulness/consideration necessary to make a romantic relationship work in the first place with that said person. Rather than facing that truth, they go around either trying to change their partner or themselves.


I agree with this. Seems like a lot of these women are very selfish and demanding. They want their partners to change themselves to fill their needs, but many are not willing to make equal sacrifices for their partners. I have learned to avoid women like this (an unfortunately high % of NT women do feel entitled like this, sadly) like the plague. I think changing and sacrificing should be a two-way street, and if the situation requires too much of it for either one or the other, then this couple is not compatible.



Uprising
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22 Jul 2013, 1:10 am

I definitely remember that certain "aspiesRf*cktards" girl coming down here tearing the place apart a while ago in a way that has never been done before by any NT ever, because of her past AS boyfriend.

So they don't always simply ask us for advice.



Tyri0n
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22 Jul 2013, 1:12 am

Uprising wrote:
I definitely remember that certain "aspiesRf*cktards" girl coming down here tearing the place apart a while ago in a way that has never been done before by any NT ever, because of her past AS boyfriend.

So they don't always simply ask us for advice.


I think that was an autistic guy trolling. In fact, a lot of these "NT girls" might be regular posters trolling. Some of the stories--and some of the crazy girl neediness-- seem just a little bit too over the top.



Uprising
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22 Jul 2013, 1:31 am

Tyri0n wrote:
Uprising wrote:
I definitely remember that certain "aspiesRf*cktards" girl coming down here tearing the place apart a while ago in a way that has never been done before by any NT ever, because of her past AS boyfriend.

So they don't always simply ask us for advice.


I think that was an autistic guy trolling. In fact, a lot of these "NT girls" might be regular posters trolling. Some of the stories--and some of the crazy girl neediness-- seem just a little bit too over the top.

Yeah, that's true, but then again, aren't most people in any aspect of life not a little bit or even a whole bit over the top?

Like wrecking your partner's car until it doesn't look like a car anymore is absolutely necessary when you find out he isn't in love with you anymore?



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Jul 2013, 1:53 am

Alex should add "Wife-diagnosed" as diagnosis status for profiles.



Aspie1
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22 Jul 2013, 7:50 am

MCalavera wrote:
FMX wrote:
By the way, there seems to be a marked shortage of "please help me with my AS girlfriend" posts. :)


Could be that NT men are less likely to complain about their partners not giving them emotional support and/or not working to help support them both financially.

Men, NT and Aspie, are less likely to worry about things like "emotional support," as women understand it. Their equivalent of emotional support consists of a round of beers and a pep talk, which they get from their buddies, not their girlfriends. Hence, no "help me with my AS girlfriend" posts.



tarantella64
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06 Aug 2013, 2:04 am

Problem with looking elsewhere for help/support is that NT "omg, a-hole or Aspergers or does it matter, I'm losing my mind" sites/fora are quickly bombed to the ground by AS advocates who believe the complainers/questioners are attacking all people with Aspergers, and who're desperate to defend themselves and by extension everyone else with Aspergers. Non-hilarity ensues as the NTs who created the haven for discussing the problems try to explain and defend themselves to agitated Aspies, further provoking the Aspies, who become seriously nasty in ways they believe are entirely justified. Thread ends with NTs deciding Aspergers does in fact turn people into tremendous a-holes and the attacking Aspies believing they've won a tremendous victory by derailing the NT conversation.