what wrong with no confidence men

Post Reply New Topic

Alfa males is probably a big generalisation. Society doesn't like them, and they can be very disruptive.

Women like the bad boys for two reasons, they are interesting and they are protective. The down side is, they are untrustworthy and often turn on their women.

Confidence is self-strength. Trust in ones-self and have the surity to take on the world (even if a little at a time). Mild men can be confident, but they don't look, or come accross as Alfa male.

The last thing in the world you want is a disfunctional relationship. It's a world of hurt. Confidence will save a lot of that pain in a relationship.

It's annoying to constantly deal with insecurity.

A very insecure guy had a crush on me when I was studying in France. He was so shy, and also about a year younger than me. When I came into the kitchen while he was cooking he got so clumsy. And that happened all the time. He couldn't look me in the eye when we were having dinner together.

I hate it when a guy is insecure. Off course everyone has their moments of insecurity and self doubt, but it shouldn't start dominating the whole personality.

I think it depends on the type of lack of confidence. Some people become shy, put others before themselves a lot, are loyal and really appreciative of their partner etc. They're attractive people to have as partners.

Others complain, are passive aggressive, never compliment or help others, don't appreciate their partner because they moan to themselves about how they want someone more attractive if only they had the confidence to get them etc. Theyre very unpleasant people to be around.

In general women want to be taken care of and to feel protected. People who lack confidence aren't great at taking care of people or making them feel protected.

Women also like to look after and nurture people, which is why people who lack confidence or self esteem in the first category above can be attractive.

Very nurturing and naive women may go with people in the second category, thinking they can help them, but instead end up feeling abused by them and like they've had the life drained out of them. They probably won't make the same mistake twice.

People in the first category can also be exhausting and annoying because they need constant help and nurturing, so probably only the most caring, empathetic and patient women would be able to stay with them. However, these women require lots of emotional feedback too, so if you're a non confident aspie of the cold, non empathetic variety, it probably still won't work out well.

I like a guy to be confident in himself and be able to hold a good conversation, but I actually like a little shyness/coyness in guys, I think it's really cute, and I'm attracted to it. Guys who think they are amazing or are too good for me are a big turn off for me.

I like a guy that can take care of me.

I like to nurture my guy as well.

Yeah, this is somewhat one of your better threads here, bill. It's interesting that women tend to consider confidence exuded by a man/woman as a significantly attractive trait whereas for men the tendency is to not give it much importance in terms of attraction.

There are some men who do give it importance, though, but they are usually the alpha type who prefer to be challenged by their women.

If someone likes the way you look, than they will treat you in a way where having huge amounts of confidence doesn't matter.

Looks are more important than personality with what your talking about.

I don't get why people are linking lacking confidence with insecurity. You could have someone who is clueless at socializing,always getting it wrong so lacks confidence, yet are extremely arrogant about every other aspect of their life, such as believing they are more intelligent than their classmates/rest of society, considering everyone else below them so they do not care for the opinions of others. This would fit some autistic people I know.

Equally, you could have an extremely talkative person who is massively emotionally insecure. I've met people (non-autistic) who precisely are very friendly because they find being on their own makes them depressed, so they always socialize.

what about men who can get girlfriends, but are lousy boyfriends.
a guy with confidence can take care of a woman.
so the guys who can get girlfriends,but can't take
care of them,are they not confident.

So if a man LOOKS like a bit like a boy, but acts like a man (aka confident), then will he be seen as a man? Or still as a boy?

Can I ask you something bill?:

Would you date a woman that refused to express her own opinions 95% of the time due to fear of upsetting you?

Would you date a woman that required you to do all the planning 95% of the time due to fear of messing things up?

Thats what no confidence men look like to women and thats why most females avoid them.


They expect to have a decent conversation with you, not talk to a wall that agrees with them 24/7

In response to Uprising. (I hope this avoids the Captcha bs.)
True confidence has more to do with the projection of your personality. It doesn't have much to do with appearance.

I've seen guys who have worked on their bodies and totally lacked personality. I've also seen guys that have had a great personality lack confidence in their physical appearance. There has to be a fine balance to be the complete package. But most part, the guys with the personalities tend to get into relationships and get married easier than the guys with the body.