Interracial Dating and double standards

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Joined: 28 Jun 2013
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03 Aug 2013, 4:31 am

Naturally I think I have a very feminine personality. I'm shy, polite and while I'm not majorly attractive I enjoy wearing dresses and looking after my appearance. It is strange though, because other parts of my personality I would concider quite masculine/tomboyish such as my interest in gaming and the fact that I don't like to talk about my feelings.

I have noticed there is a type of guy that likes me, and he is usually one who is traditional in gender roles, which suits me, although the most important thing to me is that my partner sees me as an equal.

I find these days though that there are quite a lot of men who want woman to be more confident and dominating. Some guys wouldn't give me the time of day because to them I'm too shy, and maybe they see that as boring.

I do see what you mean about black guys, it's true tbh, but I think it's probably a lot to do with culture as well as appearance. I have never dated a black guy personally, tbh where I live there is not many black people here and I have never met a black guy socially, even though appearance wise there have been some I was very attracted to, I felt like socially there was many differences, and I hope this doesn't sound racist, but I have at times felt intiminated by black guys because of how overly masculine most are, when I guess I'm used to white guys who are generally less imposing.

I think the "Asian fetish" is there for that exact reason. I think the majority of men still crave woman who are feminine and lady like and I have met a lot of Asian girls and most are very feminine, appearance wise and culturally. Having said that I have a Chinese friend who is tiny but seems to be in charge of her 6"4 boyfriend lol, it's funny.

AspieOtaku
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03 Aug 2013, 4:38 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clteInE5WCY[/youtube]

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belladonna25
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03 Aug 2013, 4:44 am

Quote:

I tend to see it as "milder," "quieter," "more respectful" and "kinder." It isn't necessarily rooted in a man who wants to be a patriarch, or dominate the woman. In my case, I often end up with Asian women simply because I have many of the same personality traits.

So there's that side of it too. Maybe some women who go for more masculine guys are more masculine themselves. Not sure.

That is interesting, as I said in my pervious post, I believe I have a very feminine personality, and I am intact attracted to guys who are quite gentle, polite and I also like a little shyness in a guy, similar to my personality.

Last edited by belladonna25 on 03 Aug 2013, 4:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

Cafeaulait
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03 Aug 2013, 4:45 am

Kurgan wrote:

Asian women take care of themselves. They don't eat lots of choccolate just because they get sweet cravings, they don't binge drink every weekend, they don't cut their hair short once they hit 25, they don't do powder tobacco and they don't wear track suits and Moon boots because it's slightly more comfortable than the alternative. This is why Japanese and South Korean women are so beautiful.

And why not Chinese women?

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03 Aug 2013, 4:48 am

Cafeaulait wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

And why not Chinese women?

They're just examples he gives I think.

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03 Aug 2013, 1:05 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

And why not Chinese women?

I'm just giving examples. South Korea and Japan are countries with a higher HDI--and thus provide the world with great movies and video games. I like Chinese and Fillipino girls as well, though... and so do many other men, as the former makes concept cars even more interesting.

[img][800:1210]http://image.yaymicro.com/rz_1210x1210/0/240/chinese-girls--models-from-car-show-240d71.jpg[/img]

lost561
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03 Aug 2013, 1:48 pm

belladonna25 wrote:

Interesting. We both see what's happening with relationships today, but we disagree with why/who is responsible for women's role in relationships today vs in the old days. I say women want more control of the relationship, you say men want less control of the relationship essentially.

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03 Aug 2013, 3:32 pm

so I like more masculine women.... just because they are black. wtf :pale:

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03 Aug 2013, 4:10 pm

Stalk wrote:

so I like more masculine women.... just because they are black. wtf :pale:

The way I see it, the whole "African masculine, Asian feminine, European in-between" cliche has an uncanny resemblance to certain pseudo-scientific claims that African people are naturally hyper-sexual, violent, and dumb, Asians are the polar opposite (i.e. sexually reserved, passive, and ultra-intelligent), and Europeans lie somewhere in the middle. I suspect that this line of racialist pseudo-science is where the trope originated. For this reason the whole "hyper-feminine Asian" stereotype, especially when coupled with the idea of "hyper-masculine African", has unfortunate implications if you examine it critically.

That said, from what little I know of Northeast Asian cultures, they do tend to have patriarchal traditions which demand subservient women. This has also held true for African and European cultures, but Western culture has evolved thanks to feminism and traditional African patriarchy was (generally) less stringent than its European and Asian equivalents to begin with. Maybe this is where people are getting the idea that Asian women are naturally more docile since they are more oppressed.

For my part I despise patriarchy in all its forms. I don't think subservient women are necessarily more feminine or attractive than emancipated ones. If anything, I prefer strong women who can take care of themselves. I am sure though that you will find strong women in all racial groups.

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03 Aug 2013, 5:48 pm

A chinese lady, when me and my dad tried to help her with the food she was serving us, snaped and said don't touch. I'm sure it had something to do with what she is used to, so we left it alone. Strong women do appear everywhere, and there is a female counterpart to most male sports, so you'll find women's mma all over, probably even women's systema in Russia (kgb and spetznaz martial art of choice). I practiced with a lady who came into mma class with broken ribs, they exist.

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IlovemyAspie
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03 Aug 2013, 6:19 pm

So how does this apply to people of mixed heritage?

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appletheclown
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04 Aug 2013, 11:31 am

IlovemyAspie wrote:

So how does this apply to people of mixed heritage?

If you mean me, it was merely an example of tough women being all over the world.

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04 Aug 2013, 11:38 am

appletheclown wrote:

IlovemyAspie wrote:

So how does this apply to people of mixed heritage?

If you mean me, it was merely an example of tough women being all over the world.

It wasn't directed at anyone specifically. I'm reading stuff that says African women are like this and Chinese women are like this....I just wondered what that means for people like me who are mixed.

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04 Aug 2013, 1:44 pm

Cafeaulait wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

And why not Chinese women?

Or, you know, any nationality of which doesn't consist entirely of either men or women who behave like some kind of parody truckers ?
:roll:

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04 Aug 2013, 2:02 pm

This is kind of a sidebar issue.

Before I met my wife, I tried "dating" the single and available Caucasian women around me. They all turned me down. After I met my wife, and it became generally known that we were dating, the very same Caucasian women seemed unhappy about it.

Where I worked at the time, there were several racks of comm equipment along one wall. My job was to make periodic checks on the equipment, and the access points were behind the racks. One day I was behind the racks, doing my job, when a few of the women gathered up front (apparently, they didn't know I was there). Almost immediately, they started talking about my girlfriend (future wife) and I. They said things like: "I really hate those Asian girls - coming to our country and stealing our jobs and our men ..." and "What is it with Fnord? Why does he have to date one of those <bleeping> Asian girls when there are plenty of us white girls to ask out?" and "Stupid men and those <bleeping> <racist epithets>, anyway ...".

They didn't want this white guy, yet they complained when this white guy started dating an Asian girl. What the fork? :wink:

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04 Aug 2013, 2:08 pm

Fnord wrote:

I can actually understand why they said that, but that doesn't mean I support their opinion or them themselves personally.

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