Casual sex and Asperger's/autism

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I call bullsh*t.

Anybody who thinks that having all sorts of sex with somebody "doesn't count" as long as they aren't having intercourse, is seriously deluding themselves.

When I was lonely and in my 20's I made women my special interest. Since they were my primary focus at the time, I learned how to be more successful with them. You have to learn how to communicate in certain ways. It was a long time ago and I forgot a lot of things especially cause I've been in a relationship the past 5-6 years. It can be done though.

I learned a lot from befriending women in general and talking to them about relationships and sex. Sometimes it's better to get information straight from the horses mouth so to speak.

Last edited by Jasper1 on 30 Jul 2013, 11:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've had a few casual sex scenarios; each time the brief pleasure has been overridden by the guilt, confusion, and frustration that follows, not to mention the paranoia of catching a disease.
I've also had some experience with sex workers, this is problematic for me to, but not as complex as casual sex, as there are clear boundaries when it comes to interactions with sex workers.

I'm now happily married and could not contemplate being unfaithful, nor having the courage to seek a sexual partner if my marriage were to fail or my spouse were to pass away.

I didn't realise what it was before but it makes perfect sense now I think if it, and since I've been diagnosed.
As an aspie I have a strong sense of loyalty and of moral values, as well as a difficulty with transitions of all kinds.
Hence a "friend with benefits" just makes me feel emotionally confused and insecure.
I don't generally have the confidence to chat up a woman in person - unless both of us are very drunk, and of course that leads to bad decisions with long term consequences. Like when I had a one night stand with a woman who drank at my local.
I had to avoid her until she stopped drinking there, whilst the bar staff and my friends knew of my dilemma!

So in my case, I've tried it, it's not for me, and I've moved on.
I think most people go through a phase of casual sex, but it's not a particularly healthy emotional state of mind that thinks it's okay as a lifestyle choice.

It's only the norm that is bad, not necessarily the sex. Norms are something society imagine all should and do aspire to. In a way society (and privilege) is a collective delusion, and the only thing that is real is the effect it has on peoples psyche and how they imagine the world is as a result of it. People act out stereotypes that exist about their class and expect others to do so too. This is off-topic, but here's a video about rich peoples behavior. Apparently most are more unethical and demanding (etc) than average, and those factors might not be what made them more likely to become rich in the first place, but is the effect experiencing privilege has on the psyche. When rich people felt poor in monopoly they behaved more like real poor people had been observed to behave, and vice versa.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuqGrz-Y_Lc[/youtube]

"The secret of great fortunes without apparent cause is a crime forgotten, for it was properly done." [Balzac]

auntblabby, But many rich people do see themselves as good people. They justify any unfair advantage they have to still be able to see themselves as good people, which leads to a sense of entitlement, even if whatever causes the privilege is not of their own making. "I have more privilege than X. It can't be unfair, because I am a good person - it must be because I am better."

Last edited by Anomiel on 31 Jul 2013, 1:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

yes, people like pat Robertson say that rich people are proof that god favors them, "aka the divine right of kings." conversely, he believes that poor people are being punished by god, that they deserve their fate and that hellfire awaits them.

I can't have casual sex.

Touch is one way I am able to communicate, and sex is so profound to me. It simply cannot be casual for me. I have had sex, but not casual sex. I just can't. When someone touches me, I feel them like I am unable to when they are speaking to me. Wind, smell, sound, touch.... they are all so intense for me. Sex is way too much for me to take casually. I am told I come across as abnormally sensual and sexual. I dunno, but I do know I can't do something like that lightly.

Always refused casual sex offers (but not casual relationship offers)- what does that make me?

A person who prefers to have more than just one session of casual sex with the same person ?

lucky and a fool
or a woman

Isn't that just Friends With Benefits? Or am I misinterpreting "casual relationships?"

Umm, yes, and like what woof said too, there must be minimal form of bonding in prior.

Not very lucky because it rarely happens, plus I am still single at this age.

A woman? *checking* no, there's a monstrous Dune sandworm down there.

s**t....the only possibility left is....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJnKm6ftPu0

You exposed me in front of my enemies here, I feel naked.