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Has anyone on here had good luck with online dating?

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LucySnowe
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01 Nov 2013, 5:04 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
Then he made me go Dutch.

Fourth guy insisted we go out on a Monday night

Apart from the "insisting" part, what's wrong with these two things?


Going Dutch on a first or second date tells me that he's not a gentleman or not interested in me in a romantic way (I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to this custom. Obviously things are different when you're in a relationship, though).

Monday night is also a cheap night (the restaurants at least in my neck of the woods typically serve food they've had since before the weekend)--so you're not high on the guy's list (unless you're in a relationship and you're going out with him every night).



yellowtamarin
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01 Nov 2013, 5:07 pm

LucySnowe wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
Then he made me go Dutch.

Fourth guy insisted we go out on a Monday night

Apart from the "insisting" part, what's wrong with these two things?


Going Dutch on a first or second date tells me that he's not a gentleman or not interested in me in a romantic way (I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to this custom. Obviously things are different when you're in a relationship, though).

Monday night is also a cheap night (the restaurants at least in my neck of the woods typically serve food they've had since before the weekend)--so you're not high on the guy's list (unless you're in a relationship and you're going out with him every night).

I see. Here it's "tight-arse Tuesday" :)



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01 Nov 2013, 5:18 pm

LucySnowe wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
Then he made me go Dutch.

Fourth guy insisted we go out on a Monday night

Apart from the "insisting" part, what's wrong with these two things?


Going Dutch on a first or second date tells me that he's not a gentleman or not interested in me in a romantic way (I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to this custom. Obviously things are different when you're in a relationship, though).

Monday night is also a cheap night (the restaurants at least in my neck of the woods typically serve food they've had since before the weekend)--so you're not high on the guy's list (unless you're in a relationship and you're going out with him every night).


If a man asked you out for dinner, he should pay for it. And vice versa.
I try to avoid this by going just for a coffee for the first meet up. Then I won't feel guilty if he spends a couple bucks for my drink.

I read somewhere that you're not supposed ask someone out on weekends for a first date?
And if a guy does that you have to pretend that your weekends are already fully booked so you need to suggest a weeknight instead? All these silly rules...



LucySnowe
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01 Nov 2013, 6:24 pm

Yuzu wrote:

If a man asked you out for dinner, he should pay for it. And vice versa.
I try to avoid this by going just for a coffee for the first meet up. Then I won't feel guilty if he spends a couple bucks for my drink.

I read somewhere that you're not supposed ask someone out on weekends for a first date?
And if a guy does that you have to pretend that your weekends are already fully booked so you need to suggest a weeknight instead? All these silly rules...


Yeah, I don't get them sometimes. But I'm slowly learning them in order to get along in this crazy world we live in.



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02 Nov 2013, 6:44 pm

Not quite. But since my sister got married, I'm determined to make it work..... I just might make a help thread in just a bit. Wish me luck!


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02 Nov 2013, 7:05 pm

equestriatola wrote:
Not quite. But since my sister got married, I'm determined to make it work..... I just might make a help thread in just a bit. Wish me luck!


Huh?? I thought you've given up? You know the story about the boy who cried wolf, right?



shiflimtamfloo
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07 Nov 2013, 9:10 am

LucySnowe wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
Then he made me go Dutch.

Fourth guy insisted we go out on a Monday night

Apart from the "insisting" part, what's wrong with these two things?


Going Dutch on a first or second date tells me that he's not a gentleman or not interested in me in a romantic way (I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to this custom. Obviously things are different when you're in a relationship, though).

Monday night is also a cheap night (the restaurants at least in my neck of the woods typically serve food they've had since before the weekend)--so you're not high on the guy's list (unless you're in a relationship and you're going out with him every night).


My first date with my now ex-girlfriend, we went dutch on the first date. I actually regret it now, but I was paranoid about dating a girl that would always want me to pay... but we dated for over 3 years. It didn't matter, except she made fun of me for it later. I don't think it's a big deal at all to do, but I would pay next time I date someone. But I don't wanna date a girl where I have to pay for most stuff, I'd rather it be even. Unless she makes less I guess.



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07 Nov 2013, 9:38 am

yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
Then he made me go Dutch.

Fourth guy insisted we go out on a Monday night

Apart from the "insisting" part, what's wrong with these two things?


Going Dutch on a first or second date tells me that he's not a gentleman or not interested in me in a romantic way (I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to this custom. Obviously things are different when you're in a relationship, though).

Monday night is also a cheap night (the restaurants at least in my neck of the woods typically serve food they've had since before the weekend)--so you're not high on the guy's list (unless you're in a relationship and you're going out with him every night).

I see. Here it's "tight-arse Tuesday" :)

Expecting the guy to pay for everything is one of my biggest red flags.



equestriatola
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07 Nov 2013, 12:48 pm

Not yet..... but that will change soon for me. :)


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yellowtamarin
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07 Nov 2013, 5:15 pm

Geekonychus wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
LucySnowe wrote:
Then he made me go Dutch.

Fourth guy insisted we go out on a Monday night

Apart from the "insisting" part, what's wrong with these two things?


Going Dutch on a first or second date tells me that he's not a gentleman or not interested in me in a romantic way (I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to this custom. Obviously things are different when you're in a relationship, though).

Monday night is also a cheap night (the restaurants at least in my neck of the woods typically serve food they've had since before the weekend)--so you're not high on the guy's list (unless you're in a relationship and you're going out with him every night).

I see. Here it's "tight-arse Tuesday" :)

Expecting the guy to pay for everything is one of my biggest red flags.

Yeah. I wasn't going to talk any more about this but I feel like it now.

It seems almost contradictory to say "it tells me this about him if..." then say "I'm old fashioned when it comes to this". If you acknowledge that your view is not the contemporary view, then doesn't it follow that perhaps the man's modern behaviour might not mean what you think it is telling you?

I think it's fair enough that you are looking for a "gentleman", everyone is free to seek out whoever they want, but I don't think it's necessarily accurate to assume that because a man conforms to modern dating behaviours, that that means he is not interested in you.



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07 Nov 2013, 5:27 pm

so, is it acceptable to enquire during the date "Are you a tight wad?" so as to resolve this issue of who pays and how often? I have had people (not dates though) confess quite cheerfully to being tight with money, so I think it's fair to find out early on in case this is a problem for one or the other.



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07 Nov 2013, 5:33 pm

leafplant wrote:
so, is it acceptable to enquire during the date "Are you a tight wad?" so as to resolve this issue of who pays and how often? I have had people (not dates though) confess quite cheerfully to being tight with money, so I think it's fair to find out early on in case this is a problem for one or the other.

For me "going dutch" or being willing to pay for the next date if the other person was paying is important. It shows mutual independence and respect for that person as a potential partner.



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08 Nov 2013, 9:18 am

Ideally, each person should pay by their own on the first dates. In fact I see it as somewhat brave to ask to pay the bill :lol: people who do that probably know they will appear as cheapskates and decide to do it anyway. If a woman offered to do that I'd be fairly impressed, although so far it hasn't happened inside a dating context.


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08 Nov 2013, 5:14 pm

leafplant wrote:
so, is it acceptable to enquire during the date "Are you a tight wad?" so as to resolve this issue of who pays and how often?


I really can't imagine the question "are you a tight wad?" going over well in any situation, not just on a date. The term has a negative connotation, so most people would probably interpret it as a personal attack. At best, it's vague - what do you mean by "tight wad"? Whatever you mean, it would be better to ask about that directly, IMO. Eg. if the issue is who pays then ask "who pays?", not "are you a tight wad?"


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