Need help with trying to pick a girl up intelligently

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Picking up women while they are working is indeed more difficult. Glad that you're realistic about your skill level. With enough practice and experience, you'll get there.

If she makes it obvious that she's interested in you, then I would capitalize on it. If anything, for the experience. From how your skill level sounds, I would stick with simple strategies. Speaking of which, I strongly advise against Facebook. You want something more personal...like a phone number. Once you realize how easy it is to get phone numbers, you'll have a HUGE epiphane. However, you'll also realize that women do give our phone numbers quite easily...because it doesn't mean much for women. It's just a bridge to set up a date. Nothing is solid until you two are actually committed in a relationship (this is typically done after sexual intercourse, but there exceptions, e.g. highly religious women). Facebook is impersonal and paints you as just another number--another tally mark for her to add to her online friends list. In other words, Facebook is shooting yourself in the foot.

lost makes a good point about telling if she likes you. This will be mostly body language and tonality (men, and especially women, will often say things contrary to what they really want, which is telegraphed by their non-verbals...why people say contrary things is another can of worms, but for now, know it's due to social baggage). For anyone, aspie or NT, who asks me how to learn social skills, I tell them they FIRST need to get good with reading body language and tonality. This is foundational for ALL social skills. It's what allows you to know how to behave AND also adjust your behavior on the fly as your realize she is getting comfortable/uncomfortable. Until you've gotten good with body language and tonality, you're essentially shooting in the dark. This applies not just to dating, but to all social skills.

I read the 1 page and i was kinda rude to you Fnord, sorry about that. most people would probably agree with you

Are you sure she doesn't have a boyfriend?

“if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”

if she's giving me signals I must investigate, if she's not giving me signals I must avoid

(I don't want her to cheat on her partner with me though)

the_alchemist, you nailed it. If she cheats on her partner with you, you have not done anything wrong. In fact, her partner failed to fulfill her needs. Women won't cheat if all her needs have been met. Why should a women stick with someone when she's unhappy? The rules that mainstream society imposes is madness.

Wtfizthat

If a man we're to cheat on a woman this wouldn't be the attitude. The man would be viewed as a scumbag.

It's not ok for either sex to cheat on their significant other in my book. Even if you are a woman.

Mainstream social standards are illogical, so judging people by them is as well. For example, when men have many partners, they are admired (if you don't agree, just look at how society idolizes James Bond), but when women have many partners, they are branded as sluts. This is a double-standard. "Slut" is actually a weapon used by women to use on other women (women are just as competitive as men), and sexually frustrated men have adopted it without even understanding the implications and meaning behind it, but it's a convenient rationalization for their failures.

When someone cheats on you, it means you were not a good partner. Blaming your inadequacies on your partner is an unhealthy coping mechanism. The healthy approach is to figure out where you failed short, and work to fix it. This is what taking responsibility is.

I have also never said it's okay to cheat. I have only said if they cheat with you, you are not at fault. The issue lies strictly with the partners. If you fulfill all her needs, there's nothing anyone can do to make your partner cheat. People who think that you have done something wrong is also saying that people don't have free will. Somehow, some people have the ability to mind control another person into cheating? Cheating is always a choice.

When cheating is involved, the cheated is always at fault because he/she failed to fulfill needs. The cheater is also at fault too if he/she failed to communicate unfulfilled needs. But if this was communicated, and the partner continues to fail to meet these needs, you've got a failed relationship, and the unfulfilled partner begins to feel trapped. That's how cheating starts.

A lot of this trapped feeling can be mitigated by not jumping so quickly into exclusive relationships (yes, there are non-exclusive relationships). There is a lot of illogical social pressure to rush into these things. It's best to take your time to get to learn someone so you get a better understanding of their expectations and whether you can meet them. As a man, you are also expected to lead (women will resent you if you don't), and that includes setting relationship expectations. Exclusivity should be reserved for that rare, special person. Most people too readily offer exclusivity to anyone who likes them back. No wonder there are so many unhappy/failed relationships out there--people are needy.

I agree but our generation is very selfish

When first met this girl I said "oh.... stacey... that's a nice name :'(" and slinked away she acted like it was sweet.

Then another day I sensed her checking me out and turned around and there she was. It didn't feel like love it felt like "your mine" or "im checking you out"energy.

Again....

wtfizthat??

First of all, the are millions of reasons for cheating and it's not always the cheated's fault - sometimes the girl/guy is nymphomaniac and can't have enough from one partner, sometimes one partner is getting too busy traveling abroad or whatever, sometimes one partner got a sudden strong lust toward someone in specific, sometimes the cheater always had a fantasy type and her/his isn't of that type and suddenly someone of this type appears in his/her life (that's why I insist that for a couple to marry each other they HAVE to see each other more attractive than any fantasies).

Second, no man can fulfill 100% a woman's needs, there will always be one or two shortcomings here and there, sometimes periodically, perfection is impossible - if a woman would jump on another man's dick at the moment her partner fails to fulfill 100% of her needs then all women in relationships would cheat one day - and this is simply untrue.

There are these bonds you forget called 'love' and loyalty, which make partners overlook the flaws.

Please, press Ctrl F4.

Relationships are complicated the boyfriend could be a jerk or the girl could cheat on a nice guy with a bad boy. I guess it goes both ways

If your in a loving close relationship I've been told you don't have to worry about this too much

im going to treat her like forbidden fruit i probably can't have. say i read her signals that she's interested, then i need to talk to her and my social skills need work. my only option is to put as little effort as possible into it

Look, I know you have Asperger's like we all do, but that doesn't entitle you to be a dick. Learn some manners. I've been civil all this time, but you're taking advantage of my good graces. So you know what? Say what you want, virgin loser. You're clearly more interested in putting me down than in intelligent discussion.

To everyone else, this guy is clearly sexually frustrated. He just contradicted himself by admitting that a girl could cheat if she "can't have enough from one partner." That's a perfect example of not fulfilling needs!

And how does this chump know no man can fulfill 100% a woman's needs? He projects his failure on others; assumes that because he failed, every man will as well?

Sorry, but there's just so much negativity on these boards, it's so difficult for me to remain calm and patient. It's like these boards are more of a support/validation group and circle jerk rather than to actually encourage each other to grow. This place is toxic. Too much negativity will rub off on you. Someone please tell me it's not always like this. And you know what I dislike about some aspies? They think AS automatically makes them smart. No, AS just makes it easy for you to focus intensely on a topic. Aspies only develop great intelligence when they focus on topics that foster great intelligence.

Sheesh, unbelievable. The blind leading the blind.

Good, I am a dick and you hate me.

Now press Ctrl + F4, Ctrl F4.