Aspie burnout-what does this mean to you?

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well i'm not a middle-aged man yet so I don't think I have experienced this

This thread goes into it in depth for more major burnout: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt153352.html

I guess you are asking about minor burnouts in personal relationships with friends or lovers though.

I used to have them a lot. It was one of the reasons that I decided to not make friends (or at least not get close to them) with people unless they don't tire me. Unfortunately, the last minor burnout I had with someone I was close to and had a burnout - it lasted for 9 months (and I should note for 3 of them he was away overseas). So yeah, I had a very good friend that I avoided for 9 months, even though we have been friends for the last 10 years. I just needed time to recuperate and he was tiring me, and the friendship was getting very emotionally draining and causing me emotional overloads too frequently to the point I had to avoid him.

Things are fine now though again, I just needed that break to recover and process everything and recharge batteries.

This hits close to home. This REALLY helps. How did you reconnect?

Hiding in a hole is too dull to do forever. The aspies that like hiding in holes have probably been there so long, most aren't aware they exist (those aspies).

The rest come out

-Random thoughts by LeLetch

Well one of the reasons things were hard was because of the emotional needs. He needed to be closer and was getting more demanding and encroaching more then usual and I needed space more than usual because of it. But also we used to live together. He was taking a few liberties way too far, particularly in one thing - which I blew up over (which is very unlike me as it takes a lot for me to really blow up properly, especially at a close friend). He left to go back home for 3 months, and he knew he needed to sort out a lot of his stuff and get himself together (figuratively speaking). After he came back, we both moved out and I realised he had changed a lot, but I still needed to give it a few months for me to recover. Our friends locked us in a room in an intervention so I would stop avoiding him and so we could sort things out. Over the last few months we have been getting to know each other again slowly because a lot of things have changed. Probably the tipping point was when I realised he would respect my boundaries this time if I needed space instead of encroaching upon them because of what he wanted and needed. Once the level of respect changed, I had been able to start trusting him again, more then before.

And I think that can be a pretty major driver. A lot of NT's don't respect our need for space at all, they are too busy thinking about their own needs and a lot of them hound us, not realising the damage it does. We have trouble trusting them after that, so it's easier for us to withdraw or avoid. Often they have no idea they aren't respecting our boundaries, but often they aren't. This is particularly an issue during overloads, meltdowns, shutdowns - and especially during burnouts, either minor or major.

What seems like a few phone calls, a few emails, or a few texts, can seem like x100 to us when we are in burnout, and it's just overwhelming. Often saying to them verbally that we need space goes completely ignored. Usually if they can see you are respecting boundaries, they will start to come back of their own accord once they have recharged - testing to see if it's safe step by step as they go. Sometimes it can be slow in reconnecting because they may be wary as testing each step as they go.

Come out, come out wherever you are.....

"Coming Out" as an Aspie is as dangerous today as it was for gays to "Come Out" back in the 1960s, what with mass murderers being "outed" by relatives and the press as having AS. Besides, I owe it to no one else to reveal my Aspieness, since no other Aspies ever did anything to enable my success, so why bother?

*snicker* We meant something else.

*snickers* yes....something else entirely.

Yes, yes ... your cute little inside joke is obvious.



I'm trying to keep this discussion serious by referring to the fact that there seems to be the widely-held belief that if only more successful high-functioning Autistics (like myself) were to "Come Out", all Autistics everywhere would benefit from it.

*more childish snickering*
The theme of the thread is aspies hiding in holes... from burnout. We ain't talkin' 'bout closeted aspies.

I'm pretty proud of this thread. I feel it's as serious as it needs to be. "Cute little inside jokes" aside

I've benefited greatly.

*more childish snickering*
The theme of the thread is aspies hiding in holes... from burnout. We ain't talkin' 'bout closeted aspies.

Thank you for your post.... I'm just a little lost on how this fits into the conversation...

Good. Then I didn't pointlessly post this.

As far as relationships and friendships are concerned.... I don't know if anyone accepts me for who I am. So my guess is as good as any that there are no friendships or relationships right now where I am. I'm currently making no effort to communicate with anyone I know. I simply don't care for it right now. All of this expectation for me to be what others want me to be is too much right now. Need to walk away for a bit.
And yes, I am on a burnout stage to the person who asked. I switched shifts at work because of the burnout. Notice I am writing a reply at 2 AM EST.