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octobertiger
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07 Oct 2013, 11:46 am

Geekonychus wrote:
To the OP:
Don't Date!! !

Untill you can get your demons under control you'll be toxic to any girl you try to interact with.

It's best to just ignore them and pity them from a distance. They are already damning themselves to a life of loneliness with thier attitudes anyway........


Quality, that.



Last edited by octobertiger on 07 Oct 2013, 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Uprising
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07 Oct 2013, 11:52 am

auntblabby wrote:
as a child and teen I also was picked on by alpha females.

Even the adult ones?

I always used to have more guys picking on me than girls when I was in school.



cavernio
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07 Oct 2013, 2:34 pm

You're clumping all women into the same category, and you call YOURSELF a chauvinist. You know you're being sexist, so it's no surprise that you act sexist around them, so it's no surprise they hate you! No person, man or woman, who has self-respect, will be appreciative of someone (again, man or woman) who treats them poorly.

What you need to do is to stop treating people as the group the belong to but rather every person uniquely. I don't know how to really do that, but I think *that*, more than anything else, will help you by leaps and bounds. Like, when you first encounter a man, do you automatically think 'oh, it's a man, he's nice smart and considerate'? I doubt it. So why would you, upon seeing a woman, automatically think 'oh, she's a b***h, a terrible person, mean,' etc.? We're all individuals. Be open-minded and you will find other open-minded people.

As it is, I know plenty of girls who treated guys poorly all the way up through their 20's. I don't have much social interaction, but it really wouldn't surprise me to see that happening in older cohorts either. Of course being a girl I took a lot more crap and bullying from other girls, but there were a couple guys who felt the need to lord it over me too.

It's possible you come off as stalkerish, but I didn't get that vibe from your OP.


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Cafeaulait
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07 Oct 2013, 2:45 pm

I understand how someone would feel this, even though I am female myself.
I generally feel more at ease with guys than with women.



auntblabby
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07 Oct 2013, 5:14 pm

Uprising wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
as a child and teen I also was picked on by alpha females.

Even the adult ones? I always used to have more guys picking on me than girls when I was in school.

the most of the guys were a bit intimidated by my size and my unpredictability. the girls/young women had no such worries. older women [like in their later 20s and up] were generally neutral towards me, like they grew out of their immaturity or something like that.



Teiraa
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07 Oct 2013, 7:56 pm

I appreciate you all taking the opportunity to offer advice. It's nice to at least have a place of solace when I'm not feeling the best. Now, I'm open to the idea of having a foreign bride, there's just one itty bitty problem. Immigration. I can't afford the papers to bring the love of my life(or, hopefully, the love of my life) over to the States. Foreign women are very tempting, but that's a burden I can't afford to bear. As far as caustic feminism goes, I'll just have to learn how to say no to her face. If she starts treating me like the recessive member of the party, I'll cut her loose. No lenience for human behavior, no co-dependency, it's either me or her. I've dealt with girls like that in the past, I'm not about to do it again. You're either perfect or you're out was always my philosophy, but in the dating scene, as well with friendship, I've only had a handful of friends or potential gfs. But now I'm starting to realize that this black and white mentality is ludicrous and only based on a phobia.



coffeebean
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07 Oct 2013, 8:05 pm

I think the best way to conquer personal demons is usually to face them in some form or other. Just burying them won't make them go away.



auntblabby
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07 Oct 2013, 8:20 pm

trust is hard to gain but all too easy to lose. what kind of a world would it be if it were easy to gain and all too hard to lose?



elkclan
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08 Oct 2013, 1:27 am

wow OP, you're thinking about a foreign bride???? When you hate women? Not a good idea. That foreign bride is a real person, with real needs and real feelings. That's not a 'love of your life' - that's an acquisition and one you'll be disappointed with. She's not a wind-up toy.

Very few women are attracted to men who hate women. And those that are... well...

And yes, you do have to take account of human frailty. All of us screw up, all of us have the capacity to be hurtful. And the capacity to love and nurture.

The first step, why don't you try to make friends with a girl - with NO expectation of anything further. You'll see she's human.



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Oct 2013, 1:35 am

cavernio wrote:
You're clumping all women into the same category, and you call YOURSELF a chauvinist. You know you're being sexist, so it's no surprise that you act sexist around them, so it's no surprise they hate you! No person, man or woman, who has self-respect, will be appreciative of someone (again, man or woman) who treats them poorly.

What you need to do is to stop treating people as the group the belong to but rather every person uniquely. I don't know how to really do that, but I think *that*, more than anything else, will help you by leaps and bounds. Like, when you first encounter a man, do you automatically think 'oh, it's a man, he's nice smart and considerate'? I doubt it. So why would you, upon seeing a woman, automatically think 'oh, she's a b***h, a terrible person, mean,' etc.? We're all individuals. Be open-minded and you will find other open-minded people.

As it is, I know plenty of girls who treated guys poorly all the way up through their 20's. I don't have much social interaction, but it really wouldn't surprise me to see that happening in older cohorts either. Of course being a girl I took a lot more crap and bullying from other girls, but there were a couple guys who felt the need to lord it over me too.

It's possible you come off as stalkerish, but I didn't get that vibe from your OP.



Based on his story, he became chauvinist because girls bullied him and hated him - surely chauvinism makes him hated more, It's an 'egg or chicken' case.



FunkMasterMike
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08 Oct 2013, 2:37 am

I would say the best place to meet women around my age is college. Sometimes we will be forced to wait in the hall for the professor to come in, so sometimes waiting outside the classroom can make conversation. Most people in college wanna excel their life too.

Deleting your Facebook is the first step to success. Always needing to tell everyone what you're doing/excited for is just plain dumb. Your real friends would be there with you, in real life, and your real friends wouldn't try to have a contest on who's post shows up at the top of the page. I deleted mine, and I don't miss it. You gotta remember that everyone is their own unique person too.

Do you watch porn? It can affect your subconscious to not like, or even hate women. Try to stop it for a few nights, see how it affects you. I won't lie, I used to watch it on a daily basis. Nothing too....gross or fetishy, etc. I know I don't want to hurt anyone and I mean well. (my conscious tells me that) but then for some reason, when I watched porn and saw women in public. it builds some animosity. Its really weird.



Kinme
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08 Oct 2013, 2:40 am

FunkMasterMike wrote:
I would say the best place to meet women around my age is college. Sometimes we will be forced to wait in the hall for the professor to come in, so sometimes waiting outside the classroom can make conversation. Most people in college wanna excel their life too.

Deleting your Facebook is the first step to success. Always needing to tell everyone what you're doing/excited for is just plain dumb. Your real friends would be there with you, in real life, and your real friends wouldn't try to have a contest on who's post shows up at the top of the page. I deleted mine, and I don't miss it. You gotta remember that everyone is their own unique person too.

Do you watch porn? It can affect your subconscious to not like, or even hate women. Try to stop it for a few nights, see how it affects you. I won't lie, I used to watch it on a daily basis. Nothing too....gross or fetishy, etc. I know I don't want to hurt anyone and I mean well. (my conscious tells me that) but then for some reason, when I watched porn and saw women in public. it builds some animosity. Its really weird.


+1



Teiraa
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08 Oct 2013, 2:51 am

Generally, I wasn't that I came off as a stalker, in fact, that wasn't the case at all. They looked at me and decided they didn't like me. No justifiable reason, they just didn't. Sure, now I may come off as mysterious and they want to know more, but romantically, they wanted none of it. Too much baggage, maybe? I've held down a romantic relationship before, though it ended with her hating me. I didn't do anything to make her hate me, I never struck her or called her names during the relationship, she hated me because I wouldn't do the major workload of the relationship. I'm just one guy, relationships are a coordinated effort. Aside from that, she always acted like she was SOOO abused. Her parents were great, she had a tight bond with her siblings, and had NUMEROUS friends, she just whined to hear her own voice. She was also emotionally abusive to me, being that she mocked me in front of everyone, she encouraged her friends to mistreat me, she would go into bouts where she didn't want to be touched(I'm a pretty affectionate guy), and she would distance herself from me because she wanted to appear as though she's damaged. Since our break up, she never dated :twisted:. Moving on to when I moved to Bloomfield, Iowa, the girls there were MONSTERS. They would be rude to me at random intervals over THE STUPIDEST THINGS EVER, whenever they did things, I was never invited, they always gossiped about me, and all that nasty stuff. So, to say I have no rhyme or reason to be upset with these self-righteous, moronic, and, ultimately, slimy creatures is to saying Americans shouldn't be upset about 9/11. But in respect to the voices of reason, I should be more upset at the ones who made my life miserable, not the ENTIRE sex in general.



FunkMasterMike
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08 Oct 2013, 4:17 am

Teiraa wrote:
Generally, I wasn't that I came off as a stalker, in fact, that wasn't the case at all. They looked at me and decided they didn't like me. No justifiable reason, they just didn't. Sure, now I may come off as mysterious and they want to know more, but romantically, they wanted none of it. Too much baggage, maybe? I've held down a romantic relationship before, though it ended with her hating me. I didn't do anything to make her hate me, I never struck her or called her names during the relationship, she hated me because I wouldn't do the major workload of the relationship. I'm just one guy, relationships are a coordinated effort. Aside from that, she always acted like she was SOOO abused. Her parents were great, she had a tight bond with her siblings, and had NUMEROUS friends, she just whined to hear her own voice. She was also emotionally abusive to me, being that she mocked me in front of everyone, she encouraged her friends to mistreat me, she would go into bouts where she didn't want to be touched(I'm a pretty affectionate guy), and she would distance herself from me because she wanted to appear as though she's damaged. Since our break up, she never dated :twisted:. Moving on to when I moved to Bloomfield, Iowa, the girls there were MONSTERS. They would be rude to me at random intervals over THE STUPIDEST THINGS EVER, whenever they did things, I was never invited, they always gossiped about me, and all that nasty stuff. So, to say I have no rhyme or reason to be upset with these self-righteous, moronic, and, ultimately, slimy creatures is to saying Americans shouldn't be upset about 9/11. But in respect to the voices of reason, I should be more upset at the ones who made my life miserable, not the ENTIRE sex in general.


My last and only up-to-standards girlfriend I had faked her dad's death to break up with me long distance when I was in the Army. She skipped out on her plane ticket to avoid coming to my Basic Training graduation. How do you think I felt? I felt great. I'm glad that shady b**** left my life on her own and I didn't have to lift a finger. I'm glad it ended before I had developed more feelings for her.

Your last girlfriend wasn't a woman, she was an immature attention-whore. I would of left the first few major signs of immaturity arose. But she in the past now.

You know how many weird looks I get in public for looking weird? (the look in my eyes and straight face) Why are people concerned with the way people look? Society has grown on so many stereotypes, its ridiculous.

Date someone that will treat you right and won't judge a book by its cover.



Teiraa
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08 Oct 2013, 5:46 am

FunkMasterMike, I know where you're coming from, but the town I speak of has a population of roughly 3,000 people. The place is TINY! I mean one-blink-you'll-miss-it tiny. People in these towns, despite appearing friendly, are judgmental, hypocritical, gossipy, and just plain stupid. KCMO, which is where I live now, the people I've met are generally nice and friendly. A GameStop I was at, an employee was cracking jokes with my stepfather and I. You don't get that in a podunk, hillbilly town. It's strictly business. People generally don't whisper to one another about how weird I look, that stopped once I got into high school. Some of the whispers, quite a few actually, were of praise about how smart, cute, loving, and all-around great guy I was. I feel for you in your struggle, but I didn't get it nearly as bad into adulthood, course I'm only 20. So, yeah...



Uprising
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08 Oct 2013, 6:04 am

FunkMasterMike wrote:
Date someone that will treat you right and won't judge a book by its cover.

Hard to find though these days when you're a 20some.