Well, it's over with Aspie gf.

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For some strange reason, this usually never happens. Part of the problem is this arrogant feeling that a lot of people (including myself at times in the past) have that the other person will chase after us. The chasing never occurs. and the person that made the comment is likely to have found someone else's attention, or are left wondering why no one is giving them attention.

The arrogant feeling you are talking about is "pride" and it's very much something one needs to get over to have a meaningful relationship with another human person. I guess I'm interested to hear from people who hold grudges, what is it they get out of holding a grudge that they KNOW was over some slight that really was just that - something "slight" that in the greater scheme or things, is actually pretty meaningless. It can be over the turn of a phrase, or somebody interrupting a monologue. Are there no "small" slights - or is every slight a big deal ? Or is it that SOMETIMES it can be a big deal, depending on how stressed you are? That's the way it seemed with my ex (weird to refer to her as "ex", lol) If she was stressed about something, a very small thing could become a very big deal.

I'll PM you some details if you want a bad example of prides and holding grudges. Not posting it here.

You might consider it meaningless to interrupt but she may not. If she doesn't talk to people, and she rarely opens her mouth around strangers or people she doesn't know well, then she would probably never monologue around them. I never really talk properly to people unless I actually trust them, and the list of people I trust is so small that I rarely get the opportunity to talk freely. To interrupt when you are one of the few (or in her case, perhaps the only) person she trusts to talk to is tantamount to you telling you don't value her thoughts, that you don't know how rare it is for her to be like this, and that you don't value that she can be that free around you (which is a damn big deal to most of us after an entire lifetime of social isolation).

this is all so sad.

Yeah, ok, her monologues are a big deal to her - which is why she does 84 percent of the talking when we get together. And right, I have no idea what she is like around other people. Which is just DIFFICULT - especially when trying to get along with a "difficult" person - you really want some reference points - would really help to hang out with a few people who know her and be able to ask "OMG, is she like this with you as well?" I have met ZERO people who know her - all of our interactions are one on one -- which sort of spooks me out. If you want to know somebody, meet their friends - meet somebody who has known that person for ten years. she keeps it ALL inside, I have no idea how she does it actually. She must go crazy with so many thoughts jumping around her head.