I can't tell if this man is too good to be true!

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Halfmadgenius
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05 Nov 2013, 9:47 pm

leafplant wrote:
That's great, have you given any thought about what this hypothetical kid might want for him or herself?

Safety first. And the simple fact is public schools are not safe. If my kid begged me to send them to a public school I might try it but any problems at all and I would yank them back out so fast their heads would spin.

There was a case on the local news where two kids had sex in the cafeteria DURING LUNCH. And ever heard of Quick? It is strawberry flavored crystal meth, it looks like poprocks. I myself had my nose broken in class. The teacher knew this kid bullied me and stepped out, he jumped up and punched me in the face while she was in the hallway.

The idea of subjecting my own children to all that scares the hell out of me, it's borderline abuse.



JitakuKeibiinB
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05 Nov 2013, 10:34 pm

Halfmadgenius wrote:
And ever heard of Quick? It is strawberry flavored crystal meth, it looks like poprocks.

I think you've been reading too many chain letters.



hurtloam
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06 Nov 2013, 1:47 pm

Halfmadgenius wrote:
leafplant wrote:
That's great, have you given any thought about what this hypothetical kid might want for him or herself?

Safety first. And the simple fact is public schools are not safe. If my kid begged me to send them to a public school I might try it but any problems at all and I would yank them back out so fast their heads would spin.
... I myself had my nose broken in class. The teacher knew this kid bullied me and stepped out, he jumped up and punched me in the face while she was in the hallway.

The idea of subjecting my own children to all that scares the hell out of me, it's borderline abuse.


I understand that. One of the reasons I don't want children is because I don't ever want to have to deal with schools again. I never could understand how teachers can be aware of bullying in their classroom, but let it happen anyway. I used to sit there thinking, "can't the teacher hear what these kids are saying to me." Looking back I wonder if the teacher thought I was asking for it. The physical assalts were always out of teacher's eye/earshot.

I don't want to have children, but I would home school them if possible if I did have them. Chances are they will be as quirky as me and my parents and not cope well with the school environment anyway.



mikassyna
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06 Nov 2013, 2:18 pm

If you are 25 and he is 42, that is a 17 year age difference. For some people that is OK, but it can make a difference in twenty years. If he hasn't been married already it would make me wonder. I've met and dated guys like that, and they love to spoil but they have problems sustaining a healthy relationship. They are always looking for the next prettier and younger thing that comes along to boost their ego.

My best friend's husband married a girl who was much younger. Their relationship is not doing so great. Because they were at different points in their lives. He worked hard and accomplished his wealth and wanted to marry someone to share it with, but that meant that she would always remain a "work in progress" meaning she hasn't had much motivation to become a self-reliant or self-identified person, nor does she understand or appreciate the value of the things he provides for her. She feels resentment because she is no longer attracted to him and still has a hot body and can attract hot guys but can't do anything about it, and she doesn't pursue her own career because her fire for survival has gone out.

Sorry I know this is a very jaded perspective. It is possible that he is a very good guy, but coming on too strong is a red flag. I'm sure you're fabulous and deserve it (!), but your instincts may be correct in making you want to slow down and look at things a little differently.



nick007
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06 Nov 2013, 5:31 pm

leafplant wrote:
It sounds more like Pretty Woman but without the obvious call girl credentials. Specially with all the "service people were so nice to me!" stuff.
I was thinking the same thing.
It's possible he's just a really nice guy who's sensitive & caring with his partners. Or he may have some issues lthat he could be compensating for or a psychological desire to spoil his partner because of something to do with how he was brought up with his family. This may also be something like a parent daughter relationchip considering his age difference & that it's not uncommon for us Aspies to end up in those types of relationships with NTs due to our issues. Non of those things are necessarily bad if he really does care about you & listens to any issues you bring up. Sociopaths would not entourage their victims to get counseling. Talk about these thigns witht he Aspie specialist & in the meantime be careful.


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Bitoku
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06 Nov 2013, 6:49 pm

NataleeR wrote:
I've been having some mood swings though, and a "not quite right" feeling. Relationships always seem to screw up for me and I am just not convinced that he is being sincere, I am afraid that things may change.
What do I do???

It does seem like from how you described it that he's trying to "buy" you. That doesn't mean he's necessarily thinking anything intentionally devious. But it does say something about him on either a conscious or subconscious level that may not be good, and could be understandably triggering your "not quite right" feeling and not being convinced about his sincerity.
I think what you're feeling he may not be "sincere" about is the apparant altruism of his spending so much money on you like this. And if that's what it is, then I think there's a good chance that feeling could be right.



MCalavera
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06 Nov 2013, 6:53 pm

Quote:
I've known my guy for a month now and I met him on a dating website where successful older men meet younger beautiful women. He says he's a computer programmer and I believe him because I see him working on the computer and I hear him talking to his co-workers on the computer. I met his neighbor friend in the apartment complex where he lives and he seems kind of decent. There's also a boyfriend girlfriend couple who are more my age, the girl seems very nice and my boyfriend introduced us because he wants to teach me how to make friends.


That quote alone says everything.



mikassyna
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06 Nov 2013, 7:40 pm

mikassyna wrote:
My best friend's husband married a girl who was much younger.


Whoops, I meant "my husband's best friend". :?