Is he a keeper?

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12 Nov 2013, 8:05 pm

Hey Yuzu, no it wasn't me being critical. It's just my dry and cynical sense of humor kicking into gear.
So.. I take it you won't be hearing from this guy any time soon?

Yuzu
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12 Nov 2013, 8:11 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:

Hey Yuzu, no it wasn't me being critical. It's just my dry and cynical sense of humor kicking into gear.
So.. I take it you won't be hearing from this guy any time soon?

You mean the lovely awkward guy? I texted him today saying "Hi" but he never replied back. It's over.

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12 Nov 2013, 10:03 pm

coffeebean wrote:

What kind of guy needs to date a lot of vapid, entitled women before deciding he'll settle for someone who isn't? :wink:

Slow learner.

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1401b
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12 Nov 2013, 10:45 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

coffeebean wrote:

What kind of guy needs to date a lot of vapid, entitled women before deciding he'll settle for someone who isn't? :wink:

Slow learner.

Or a lot of first dates.
I dunno, I didn't get how from that one sentence he was so obviously and clearly a POS.
I still don't really, maybe that means I'm a POS too.
Some times guys just say only exactly what they mean.
Some times others read a bunch into it.

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Who_Am_I
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12 Nov 2013, 10:59 pm

1401b wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

coffeebean wrote:

What kind of guy needs to date a lot of vapid, entitled women before deciding he'll settle for someone who isn't? :wink:

Slow learner.

The problem is the implication that the typical American woman is vapid and entitled.

If I went on a dating site and said to a guy "I like you because you aren't a dumb, primitive Australian man", it would be similarly offensive, but to Australian men rather than American women.

1401b
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12 Nov 2013, 11:03 pm

Yuzu wrote:

I got a message from a guy on okc and it said, "Part of the attraction is that you're not an entitled vapid blonde American woman. I've dated a lot of these and I'm not going to do it anymore."

I should definitely go out with him, right?

Gross.

God, I seriously don't get how this is evil.
Looks like he's happy that you're not rude, demanding and stupid, and that he's been a bit too tolerant and open (against his own best interest) of women while learning about them as a new date.

I remember once listening to the radio and the woman mentioned that she was performing a song that night.
The male DJ said, "You've really worked on it and practiced that song a lot!"
And she said, "Are you saying I'm old!?"
No, he was complimenting her dedication and talent.

It wasn't a joke, she had gotten Seriously Pissed-Off at him.

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12 Nov 2013, 11:26 pm

1401b wrote:

Yuzu wrote:

He said that solely based on my race. (he assumed I was non-American because of my race. ok maybe it was my poor English.)
It was only in the second message and I told him that I could be an Americanized b***h.

It's like me saying to you "I'm attracted to you because you are not a controlling chauvinistic Japanese man" without even knowing you at all. How do you take that? I'll be just an as*hole who stereotype people based on race/nationality.

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12 Nov 2013, 11:27 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:

1401b wrote:

Who_Am_I wrote:

coffeebean wrote:

What kind of guy needs to date a lot of vapid, entitled women before deciding he'll settle for someone who isn't? :wink:

Slow learner.

The problem is the implication that the typical American woman is vapid and entitled.

If I went on a dating site and said to a guy "I like you because you aren't a dumb, primitive Australian man", it would be similarly offensive, but to Australian men rather than American women.

Nope, sorry, I'm still not seeing it.
I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm just truly not seeing the insult (or weirdness). I can see and understand insults that wouldn't be insults to me, it's just in this case I'm completely missing it altogether.
Those are all modifiers of "woman" so it's not assuming that all women are just vapid, and/or entitled. But by this light it's meaning all woman are also blonde, and/or American.
I don't see how anyone can imagine that all women are American, nor how all women can also be blonde, so the remainder doesn't follow either.
It sounds like he's saying he's no longer interested in exploring a future with a woman that is all of the above.
It sounds like he's saying she seems a lot cooler than some of the lameos he's blind-dated.

My third instinct is that someone is feeling insecure and 'seeing' more insults than are offered.

(BTW, I didn't understand the original and I don't understand your example, probably because they're identical. Besides for most guys, they wouldn't care {or hear} anything after "I like you..." their brain is busy going, "YAY! YAY! Woot!! She likes me!!)

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nebrets
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12 Nov 2013, 11:29 pm

Fnord wrote:

Yuzu wrote:

... you're not an entitled vapid blonde American woman ...

That means only that YOU are a "keeper".

As for him - Insufficient Data.

These questions require 'Yes' answers:
- Is he already a citizen?
- Does he have a four-year degree from an accredited American university?
- Does he have a stable job that requires that four-year university degree?
- Does he have a driver's license and a car that's less than 3 years old?
- Does his real description match what he has posted?
- Does he get along well with his relatives?
- Does he have a good credit rating?

These questions require 'No' answers:
- Does he live with his parents?
- Does he have a prison record?
- Does he proudly display firearms, knives, or other weaponry?
- Is he a womanizer (the "Love 'em and Leave 'em" type)?
- Does he smoke or use illegal drugs?
- Is he an alcoholic?
- Is he already married?
- Has he been divorced?
- Does he have any dependent children?
- Has he ever been the plaintiff in a paternity suit?
- Has he ever declared bankruptcy?
- Does he have any outstanding warrants?

Those questions might be the ones you require, but other people might have other requirements. After all, my (definitely a keeper) SO does not have more than an associates degree in art, but he is gainfully employed at an industrial plant, and his work is putting him through technical school to be a millwright. He has several knives and swords used in costumes (he designs and makes leather costumes on the side), but all are functional, and has a 22 rifle. I think guns are a must as I have been in competitive pistol shooting.

As to the OP, it sounds like a pick up line, but it does not seem great as he insults other people in the same sentence. You might message him to get to see what he is like, but that is up to you.

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1401b
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12 Nov 2013, 11:39 pm

Yes answers required:
Are they alive.

No answers required:
Are they a*ssholes.

Most things can be flexible, imo.

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auntblabby
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13 Nov 2013, 2:31 am

my only suggestion is to not confine oneself within the upper middle-class as fnord suggested. there are good men who, due to the lack of good breaks, are still working-class but still are worth investigating.

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13 Nov 2013, 3:10 am

Do you realize that you are the first female (at least in a very long time) who starts a thread about a first okcupid message?

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13 Nov 2013, 3:37 am

And oh, he's a creeper, not a keeper.

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13 Nov 2013, 3:47 am

Yuzu wrote:

JanuaryMan wrote:

Social awkward on a forum of social awkwards judges a guy for a terrible compliment and being socially awkward. Love it!

Seriously though? I get the feeling he was trying to be nice to you but unwittingly insulted a lot of people as well as demonstrated a bit of misogyny. Probably best you not experiment with getting a 2nd message from him unless you find his profile enticing. Mind you I don't know why I'm saying that as it was a rhetorical question you asked and you've already come to a decision.

I don't think he is socially awkward at all. I would know from his profile if he was. He has a good job, average looking (not overweight), and tall. And remember, he said he dated a lot of blond American women.

And this was actually in a second message.
The first one said;
"If there's one thing I've learned from online dating it is to NEVER tell an Asian woman that I am attracted to Asian women."
(he said more but it's irrelevant)

So I replied asking what's the attraction of Asian women, if it's because we seem more submissive, and told him that I'm fairly Americanized and could be really bitchy.

He also said he lives by a university and "it's like an international beauty pageant there".
Just gave me an overall creepy feeling.

Was the "international beauty pageant" thing a joke? I really don't understand what he meant by that. Does he mean to say the women are all beautiful, or that they're fake? I'm lost. Interesting dude.

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13 Nov 2013, 4:40 am

Kinme wrote:

Yuzu wrote:

JanuaryMan wrote:

Are you alright Kinme? Are you ill?

You didn't mention banana thong.

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13 Nov 2013, 5:05 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Kinme wrote:

Yuzu wrote:

JanuaryMan wrote:

Are you alright Kinme? Are you ill?

You didn't mention banana thong.

Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry. Would you mind if I wore you on my head like a banana thong, Boo? I wonder if I will be reported a third time to mods for posting about bananas and thongs.

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