Okcupid women.

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It's not about being decent. Certain "types" of people are unlikely to use online dating sites.
I believe there are less extroverted people on OKC for example. The type of people who think "online dating is for the desperate. I like meeting people face to face." won't be on there either.

^ most of those I met were extroverted except one.

Sheek, fair enough.

Looking for a relationship partner and looking for someone who is "more to their liking than someone else" is not exactly mutually exclusive. In fact, the main reason why people (both male and female) look for someone who is "more to their liking than someone else" is actually because they are looking for a relationship partner or even a long-term marriage partner. I mean, let's be honest, if you were looking for a relationship partner, you would look for certain personality traits (including common interests, for example) so as ensure that you're compatible, am I right? On the contrary, most people who are just looking for a casual sex encounter don't really care if the other person is to their liking or not except for perhaps their looks.

The problem I was trying to point out is that men can be just as choosy as women are. So if their criteria for finding a long-term relationship partner are too narrow, then they run the risk that most of kinds of men that they want as a relationship partner don't want to date them. As a result, many (in fact, most if they're wise enough) women in that situation will lower their standards and reevaluate their relationship criteria because if they don't, it would become increasingly unlikely that they will ever find a relationship partner and they will just remain single. Men do this as well actually, that's why so many aspie guys here in the L&D forum say that they no longer mind as much what kind of girl they end up dating as long as they find a partner (which a lot of female members seem to be offended by, strangely enough) - it's because they've had such a hard time trying to find a partner that they've lowered their standards to almost the absolute minimum. I personally don't see anything wrong with lowering your standards, although I still think that they should at least have some interests in common.

You know, I've noticed the exact same thing. Pretty much everyone that I've met from there, still regularly shows up in the search results as being online recently.

I am a woman who would like to meet someone to date but I really cannot be bothered with the dating sites. I tried a paid one for a week and it was awful. I cannot understand how anyone with a touch or more of autism can stand using those sites. It's even more complicated than trying to work out the person in person. Nobody EVER tells the truth about anything. I mean - can you say headfuck? pardon my language.

And also, processing rejection in either direction is really incredibly hard specially when you get to the point where you realise this person is completely not what you were hoping for and then you have to deal with basically saying to them they are not good enough - what if they really like you, they will be upset and then you have to sit at home and feel like you are a bad person.

And then in the other scenario, you have to go through however many rejections or people not even responding to you or whatever so you start asking yourself - what is wrong with me and your self esteem takes a nose dive - very unhelpful however you look at it.

*some people* are able to view getting to know other people as just a bit of fun. To me it is a painful process that is best avoided unless there is some good indication of benefit to be had and sooner rather than later. To me it literally feels like having to drink gallons of s**t in hope that there will be some nutrients in there somewhere. Yuck.

Now that you mention it.. My profile has been listed as single and I've been in a relationship for going on 9 months.

I just haven't logged in on OKCupid since then.

Not sure why people still bother with online dating. Then again I suck at bullshitting people so online dating does not fit in my talents.

Good chance they just date constantly or even if they are in a relationship they can just keep finding dates why settle for one if you can have multiple.

I can tell whether a profile is active or not; I am not that stupid, those women are active.

I don't see how either of those points are any different from offline dating. I absolutely hate and distrust any of that PUA stuff, but the one thing you always hear from them that has some truth to it is that in dating, you have to learn how to deal with frequent rejection, because you will be rejected at some point.

I have been lucky in that everyone I have met through online dating has been exactly who they made themselves out to be. No surprises, and no obvious lies. The main reason that I use online dating personally is that it takes what I consider the most difficult aspect of dating out of the equation. That is, discerning if someone is interested in you, determining if they are looking for a relationship, and asking them out. Online, if someone has a profile they are looking for a relationship, if they respond to you they are interested in you, and if they respond several times then you can pretty much guarantee they'll say "yes" if you ask them on a date. Whereas in life, you can't intuitively tell if someone is single or not, it's borderline impossible for someone with Aspergers to tell if they are attracted to you, and asking others out often leads to extremely awkward and uncomfortable situations for both parties.

The bold bit - it's I guess where we differ. For me the most difficult part is discerning whether I am interested in the person who is interested in me - what I call 'getting to know people' - and spending ages talking and finding out that they are not suitable is just ..gnh..I hate it. In person I can tell that pretty much on sight.

okcupid is a terrible place.

That's why I set a deadline for any woman I am exchanging messages with on okcupid, if after 2 weeks of exchanging messages and she still hesitated or still "needs more time" or "not sure" to set a coffee date or whatever then I cut the communication. I wouldn't risk to waste my time for months only to find out that we're not compatible or she doesn't like or vice versa or whatever.

If their reactions to me are typical, it's because they talk to people for various lengths of time and then stop talking to them abruptly forever, and they do that over and over.

I think they will be thankful for you doing so. Its pretty obvious, that someone hating to communicate with them, will not match as partners for them.

They actually do the "single" thing on purpose, not by accident, but I'm sure you already know that.

There are articles about it on the net.

Maybe they like browsing, you have to admit, browsing is pretty fun.