"don't worry the gurls will come around sooner or later

Post Reply New Topic

one big tip: you sound like you're trying too hard.

I'm guessing you have an aura of desperation around you, and nothing is gonna turn the ladies off faster than that.

Believe me, before my relationship I did have that aura of desperation; now, I don't. I feel incredibly lonely indeed, but I'm not desperate.

The right one will come when you're just being you, and doing what you naturally do; if you put extra effort into it than you really want to, and really go out of your way for it, that's also a sign of desperation as well.

Just saying.

Stop focusing on others and wanting to attract them and start focusing on yourself in order to become more attractive.

Hygiene, fitness, mindset etc.

Make you your focus. Do whatever hard work is required for as long as it takes. You've burned up several years in frustration now. If you keep doing as you've always done, you'll get as you've always gotten. So, spend the next several years working on yourself. You'll become much more attractive, confident, hygienic, fit, happy, healthy etc. Plan on spending at least 3 years doing this. You didn't get out of shape and stuck in a rut overnight and it's not going to magically turn around overnight. You might just end up attracting and meeting someone along the way vs. having to wait a few years until it happens, you never know.

_________________
No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

I'd also like to add it doesn't take 10 years to lose weight.

I have seen people lose the amount of weight that you have in 12-24 months, (1-2 years), and not only did they lose the weight that had put on muscle mass too and looked great.

There are many inspirational stories and before and after photos on fitness websites, and I mean stories and photos posted in forums by members, not something trying to sell you something in a commercial.
That always helped to keep me motivated when I was struggling to lose weight.

In things that take a long time to accomplish, it's better not to think too much ahead. Instead every day at a time, every week at a time, or if you're really struggling - every HOUR at a time.

Just wake up one day at a time, and think "okay what am I going to do today to improve myself?" not what you're going to do tomorrow, or the next week so you can eventually look and be a certain way 3 years from now, but what is going on right now that you can do to improve and move yourself along in this journey.

It's the same thing they tell people struggling with addiction (like myself). I don't think in terms of being sober for x amount of years, I think of just being sober today and getting through this day, and eventually that day adds up to weeks, months, years.
Same thing with weight loss and general self improvement.

You brushed your teeth, you went to the gym and worked out for an hour, came home, showered, cleaned the living room in your apartment, ate everything you were supposed to eat and didn't blow your daily recommended calories for the day then hit the pillow for the night and knew you had a good successful day.. And then the next day you focus on doing that for that day.

Until next thing you know, you've got a year of a clean diet, working out every day, cleaned different segments of the house, brushed and showered every day, and whoa suddenly clothes doesn't fit anymore because the weight felt like it fell off.. et cetera.

(Also for the weight thing, I'd recommend weighing yourself every 2 weeks on the same day at the same time. Don't weigh yourself any more or less. Take a shirtless photo every 4 weeks.) It's a good way to encourage yourself when you feel like all the hard work isn't doing anything..

When I first met my boyfriend, the way he introduced himself to me was something along the lines of "I have braces, acne all over my chest and don't wash well." Really? There's nothing more disgusting than a rotting personality, more so than poor hygiene. Believe me, if you want women to be attracted to you, you have to make yourself attractive in all ways in life. Not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. It's true that appearance matters, but not by much. At the end of the day, what women are attracted to is personality. At least it is for me.

This self-pity is definitely not sexy. Improve yourself and you'll see that women will begin to notice you more.