NTs are too picky when it comes to dating.

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And while the express "money talks, merit walks" is very true, it's not a universal rule.

I don't see too much pickiness in NTs, so I don't know what you're talking about. Some are very picky and some dislike things that I don't think matter at all, but it evens out.

I am VERY picky when it comes to whom I give my heart to. It's called quality control and taking steps to make sure I don't get hurt.

Everyone has something to bring to the relationship: their personality. And sometimes, that's all that matters.

And sometimes personalities don't match. Neither parties fault, just a basic imcompatibility which is always sad but you move on.

As true as this maybe, some of us are just born with neurological condition that means bad eye-hand co-ordination. I don't really see that there is much to be done about that. Trust me I know - I spent 10 years of my childhood being forced by my parents to try to play a musical instrument without any eye-hand co-ordination - and I was as bad at it when I started as when I started.

Why wouldn't ANYBODY be picky about who they date? Why on Earth would you go out with someone you had no interest in? Or are you disappointed that nobody is using you for cheap one night stands?

Well, okay, me too.

But seriously, there's got to be some sort of spark or chemistry that makes you want to spend time with somebody and if that isn't present, then why subject yourself to an evening (or several ) with someone you're going to be bored with - not because THEY are boring, necessarily, but because you have nothing in common with them.

It's a numbers game - you're going to get rejected a lot more more frequently than you get a "yes" - unless you're extremely good-looking and/or wealthy. All you can do is try to cultivate an appealing personality - and you don't have to be extremely outgoing to do that, just being NICE and being a GOOD LISTENER are a very solid start. Also, if you have the common Aspergian problems striking up conversations, sustaining small talk and establishing a rapport with other people, you're going to need plenty of patience.

A depressed, defeatist, "nobody's gonna like me no matter what I do" Eeyore attitude is like a nasty cologne. People can smell it from across the room and nobody wants to get close to it.

All that said, I will agree that we often bond better over the long term with other people who have spectrum-like qualities to their personalities, but I wouldn't use that as a reason to rule anyone out - why shrink your pool of potentials out of some neurological bigotry? Being used as somebody's cheap one night stand doesn't have to be a bad thing.

That's what I meant, your personality.

I read this quote and I had to comment:

Don't place all of this on people who aren't diagnosed. I myself am quite suspicious of the motives of any women I date. I have made the wrong choice countless times. All it did was force to me really analyze on my own time what went wrong. I looked for a pattern of behaviours. I looked for common dealbreakers. I now know full well what I don't want to deal with moving forward.

There are certain reasons why NT women don't like dating Aspie men. There are also reasons why others like dating Aspie men. But you are more likely to hear the reasons not to. Pay attention to both sides of the coin. You learn what to keep doing and what to control and what to work on changing.

Very true. But you can always compromise and learn to live with it, if they're worth it.

If we humans have learnt anything from existentialism, it's that that doesn't work.

"A man who as a physical being is always turned toward the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him."

I think I'm pickier than most NTs. People can be as picky or not picky as they like...

(Actually with some aspects I can't really choose how picky I am - I know there are certain things I simply can't tolerate in a partner so I'm not able to be "unpicky" about those things.)

I do think that typical NTs are not for me but it's because of incompatibility. I do agree that NTs can be very picky but I've seen some here on this forums who are more picky than the average NT I known when it comes to dating & such.

NT or not, women have the right to be choosy. It's called natural selection. Well worth reading up on.

I lowered my standards and ended up married to my first wife. After the divorce, I raised my standards up again and met my current wife.

You hit what you aim for, and I will never lower my standards again.

I would disagree as I am an NT woman engaged to an Aspie man. I love him with all of my heart. NTs dating NTs is complicated too. It just depends on the person. This relationship is the best I have had so far and we are expecting our first child together. We work together in our relationship and no relationship is easy. Again, it depends on the person.