Girls: if you were male...

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Not moody is very important to me as well. I've known both moody men and women and found them very difficult to deal with.

You? Low maintenance?

Sense of humor?

That's not funny Boo. Now I'm upset. Get me some chocolates and say nice things to me now, dammit.

Just chocolate? you're really low maintenance after all.

I'd have thought the "saying nice things" would be harder to provide than the chocolate.

Back on topic, if I was a man I'd look for a female who didn't require chocolate and nice empty words from me when she's upset.

Gonna die alone.

What would she require, then? Nothing?

Nah, it's because men are easier to date whatever sex you are.

If I were male. Let's get real. Based on how most men perceive women and post in this forum... this is how it would go.

When first starting out being a hormonal noob, I'd most likely obtain this thought that I am entitled to a supermodel and just fixate on looks. Afterall, you are raised to think you are superior and women who pretend to be smart will drive a stake through your ego...so I would most likely fawn and get really pissy if I can't have this:




I am supposed to be entitled to that woman regardless of my looks and if she wants money too, what a damned slut! How could she not see how f*****g awesome I really am? I was the first born son and considered a blessing! How dare she frown on me...royalty! Who the hell is this b***h to judge if I still live with mommy? I'll have you know she's not just my mommy but she's my slave too! She does all my laundry and cooks for me which if this stupid dumb model who isn't worthy of me doesn't learn her place soon, I'm gonna get her addicted to World of Warcraft and demand she makes me a sammich!! !! !






Then 5 years go by, still living with mommy. Now age 25. I had enough of the basement dwelling so I enter a library and find this female that reminds me alot of me. I only went there for Dungeons and Dragons. She was sweet and shy. There was something I hated about her though. She didn't show her nerd boobs and she would be classified as a 6 or 7 because she's not a model. Then we start getting to know each other and suddenly, I discover, I like her. Still though, I'm all stubborn and she's not fitting into this defined role I grew up believing to be lady like so instead of being nice, I give her a taste of how cruel I can be just to show her how dominate I am! She looks angry and runs off. I found out later, she ran off to the bathroom to cry.







10 years go by as I'm watching porn thinking about how women are supposed to be like this and somewhere in the back of my mind is that shy girl that was a lot like me running off sad. It makes me sad. I'm too stubborn though, she got what she deserved!

Another 5 years go by. Still living with mommy but she's not doing so good. I hear the shy girl ended up with another geek like myself but nicer. They have two aspie children together. Sucks to be me. I have no drive to watch porn anymore. Those women I once thought were perfect are seeming less than perfect now.




1 year goes by, my mother dies. I have no idea what to do with my life at this point except play games until I die.


Out of lonely desperation, it finally occurs to me that you don't have to marry a woman. You can marry a keyboard!


After finding some random homeless man on the streets who was drunk enough to pretend to be a preacher, my keyboard and I were finally married and lived happily ever after....

You sound like a big jerk in your male version.

Ahhh.... your past behavior all makes sense to me now.

The Face of Boo...this is for you.

Ahh the rage button, the well-known anger management tool for the bitters and jerks.

I see that you are well equipped.

Probably nice, non-empty words - but those might be even more difficult to provide.

I see that you didn't read well enough to get that it was a joke or is not joking about guys and making a parody not allowed?

To answer the question honestly. I do not know what kind of women I would be into if I were a guy. If I had my brain and experience implanted into a guy as a woman that would be different.

I'd probably choose a woman that has hobbies, intelligent and have things in common.

Yeah, that I guess. Preferably the "problem solving" kind. I don't gain anything from hearing "oh it will all be okay", but I might from "have you thought about trying X?". I'd look for someone the same as me in that respect, because that's about all I can comfortably provide, and if I was a man, I imagine I would feel even more that way than I already do.

(Or nothing. That's often what I require when I'm upset. Distance, or just a shoulder. Not "things" and "fluffy words".)

Muscular thighs, broad shoulders, lots of body hair, a deep voice and a nice thick schlong.