I'm worried about becoming a terrible husband/father

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Retract that. I am a single mother. I don't go after men because they're "easy meal tickets". If you knew anything about life, you'd know there's no such thing, anyway.

I relate to you on the anger OP. I used to be like that sometimes as a kid & younger teen when I had bad Aspie meltdowns which used to happen very frequently. I'm very sensitive, affectionate & try my best to be supportive of my partner thou. I think a lot of why I was like that was because of environmental factors. I have physical disabilities & mental stuff besides Aspergers that no one including my parents understood. Just going to school & doing my best there took aLOT out of me & when I got home I had my parents on my back about grades how I needed to study & do homework even thou I never learned that way & was ready to break from spending the day at school. I grew up a lot with my anger after I graduated because I didn't go to college(I never had any desire to with all my school struggles) & some of my disabilities got diagnosed. I still had lot of problems with my parents thou till I moved in with my girlfriend a year & a half ago. She understands my stuff alot better than my parents & we're a good match for each other. I still get upset & have meltdowns sometimes but I'm aLOT better than I used to be; I will never do anything violent or really yell thou I may talk loudly, argue & seem scary but it quickly passes. Like you I don't want kids but it's because I have so many disabilities or problems that are supposedly genetic & I don't think I could really provide for a kid & he/she would deserve better than me.

I'm glad there are people who can relate to my issues. That all said, even though I've crushed on many girls, and come really really close to dating a couple, I still don't think I have the emotional maturity to handle a relationship. It could be just because my standards are really high, but I don't want to end up in a relationship where I end up flipping out on some poor girl, or worse, her family.

Perhaps you can work on these issues in counseling. That way you won't have to worry about them affecting relationships.

OK, but why do I need a relationship in the first place? Why does society put this pressure on me to get a girlfriend or get married or have kids? I sure as hell don't need to procreate, there's already 7 billion people on this planet. I mean, I would like to have a female "friend with benefits" (and of course use protection to avoid the aforementioned kids) , but that's an unrealistic fantasy I'm sure most guys have, especially the ones who get girlfriends or try to despite not being mature enough to handle them.

I apologize if I come off sounding angry, I just don't get why I have these expectations placed on me.

Being aware of your problem and worrying about it is a first step. Now you can look into getting help for it so you can control it better and be a better person.

I'm sure you are a decent person.

It depends on where you are and who you bump into. The ones I've bumped into have come onto me hard because of my age and perceived socioeconomic status and they sense a slight bit of nerdiness in me (working on fixing that) which is misinterpreted as being "starved" which means access to resources.

I didn't think I had the emotional maturity to handle a relationship either till a while after my 1st relationship ended. I wasn't looking for a relationship when I got in my 1st but we were friends & we related somewhat & she was the 1st person I ever got close to. She was dealing with some stuff & I tried to be supportive. It didn't work out partly because of my inexperience, emotional immaturity & other mental issues. I fell into a bad depression after & I got lonely & missed having someone I could talk about things with. My depression gradually got better & I was on the very ending stages of it when I got in my 2nd relationship but we were incompatible & I still had some issues that got better after I started medication for anxiety & OCD. I got in my 3rd which is the one I'm in now not that long after the 2nd ended. You should not go looking for a relationship feeling like your not ready but you don't need to rule out ever having one. You could try dating if the opportunity comes up with someone you get along well with as a friend; you might mature/grow a lot in the process & you have one advantage I didn't have in my 1st relationship, your here on WP. For now it would be good to try working on your issues, having better coping skills or being able to avoid situations that cause you anger would benefit you even if your not in a relationship. Sometimes just learning about yourself some & what anger & other issues are related to can help a lot(at least for me)

I'm the same way. I only want flirting and sex. I don't want a relationship, and I plan on getting fixed when I get the money. My desire for sex is not high enough that I am willing to get into a relationship in order to get it. A f**k buddy is the only type of relationship I see as being an option right now (not friends with benefits because it is not about friendship, just flirting and sex). Why do you have to do what society says? Just keep your sexual life private, wear a condom, and be careful who you sleep with.

The older I get, the more confused I get about how insane societal expectations are, how I ever believed in any of that stuff in the first place, and how other people buy into it.

Actually, I would want a potential FWB to be my friend as well, as in someone I could just hang out and chill with, but not someone who I'd actually be dating. That's why it's unrealistic; from what I understand, in real life you usually have to choose between an FWB who's only in it for the sex, or a girlfriend who wants a solid relationship, not the "in between" option I described.

Also, I'm not really interested in flirting. It just seems awkward and creepy to me in a lot of ways, not to mention if I ever tried to flirt, I would probably end up screwing up supremely.