What are relationships all about?

Page 2 of 4 [ 60 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Previous topic | Next topic

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

26 Dec 2013, 11:30 pm

for some, hope springs eternal.

Yuzu
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Dec 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,169
Location: Bay area, California

27 Dec 2013, 12:29 am

onewithstrange wrote:

It sort of occurred to me not long ago that I don't have any solid ideas on what a relationship actually is. I get that there must be some compromise, but I don't know what form that compromise takes. Sex aside, I don't know what it is that people in relationships do for each other that motivates them to enter\stay in the relationship. In short, what is the currency of relationships? What is the reward?

To me it's sharing common interests and doing things we both love. And to be inspired by that person. I don't need much emotional support.

onewithstrange
Sea Gull

Joined: 4 Mar 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 209

27 Dec 2013, 5:12 am

Thanks for the replies. I guess I was placing too much emphasis on sharing affection and underestimating the value of emotional support, something I didn't think I was lacking or desired until I could name it. I've had relationships in the past but they weren't very good ones and didn't last, so I've yet to experience the benefits of a really good relationship for myself. I hope I do.

_________________
"If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is."

~~ John von Neumann

Stalk
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Jul 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,138

27 Dec 2013, 5:14 am

Mishra2012 wrote:

For the VAST MAJORITY of men it is to secure reg free or cheap sex. "I paid for the date(s) and she didn't put out" and similar complaints are often made by men. This has been my observation and the observation of others and admission of many men.

"Men give love to get sex women give sex to get love" Great quote. Men fake love to get sex.
Based on the fact that I am an "odd" person and do not fit the western standard of beauty and I do NOT want a man that sees me as a sex thing I will be single forever or act out my freeing fantasy.

Most women grow up looking for a companion, even middle aged women still hope even after multiple divorces. lol
So in heterosexual relationships there seems to be a HUGE difference in what each gender is looking for. Most men remarry for their own comfort or help with their kids.

I wanted a HUSBAND, a man of my own not someone's ex husband, current husband nor father(I wanted to start a fresh new family just my husband and I). This seems next to impossible, unused guys are on the hunt for sex and to secure sex or a partner that boosts his ego.

People will tell it is different for everyone and not all guys are after sex. They aren't being fully honest. While there are different things in most cases they are additions to what I said.

I'm speaking about the majority.

Women, just want a handy man around the house and the instant butler and masseur on demand. The irony in your post is that your post also screams of ME ME ME ME ME... so each to their own.

Sherry221B
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Oct 2013
Age: 123
Gender: Female
Posts: 670
Location: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

27 Dec 2013, 10:38 am

Quote:

buffinator wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
leafplant wrote:
someone else to send out with the flashlight when you get woken up by strange sounds in the middle of the night

sorry, don't ask me; I've had some but they ended so I'm clearly not an expert

a true companionable couple would always go out TOGETHER in the dark with the flashlight, each having the other's back.

worst slasher movie ever! if she can cover his back or vice versa they might actually be able to hit the chainsaw wielding murderer over the head with a lamp, the rest of the movie is a court drama.

like so

It would be lot of fun to do the thing of that picture.

Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,800
Location: Stendec

27 Dec 2013, 10:51 am

What are relationships all about?

Relating - Finding common interests, providing mutual support, being there for each other in times of need (emotional, financial, physical, et cetera), and having good times together.

Giftorcurse
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Apr 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,887
Location: Port Royal, South Carolina

27 Dec 2013, 12:01 pm

Lust. Greed. Pride.

_________________
Yes, I'm still alive.

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,045
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Dec 2013, 1:36 pm

Mating lol.

onewithstrange
Sea Gull

Joined: 4 Mar 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 209

27 Dec 2013, 11:57 pm

I had another (slightly) unrelated question. In what sense can two people who don't know each other very well actually "like" each other? As in, what is the source of developing crushes for people?

_________________
"If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is."

~~ John von Neumann

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

28 Dec 2013, 12:02 am

onewithstrange wrote:

I had another (slightly) unrelated question. In what sense can two people who don't know each other very well actually "like" each other? As in, what is the source of developing crushes for people?

one party somehow influences the other party to feel better about him or herself. that is the root of it.

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

28 Dec 2013, 2:28 am

onewithstrange wrote:

I had another (slightly) unrelated question. In what sense can two people who don't know each other very well actually "like" each other? As in, what is the source of developing crushes for people?

Aesthetic physical attraction & physical features, ie smile/eyes etc.
Personality.
Energy/Vibe/Aura.
Voice.
Interests.
Musical taste.
Fashion sense.
The way they act/behave towards you, others, and themselves.
The way they think.
The way they walk & talk.
The way they smell.

etc.

There are a lot of possible things that could make someone attracted to another & develop a crush on them.

I know for myself that it's a combination of many things that's made me develop the biggest crush of my life on my closest friend. And while my crush has grown and evolved over time, I've pretty much had a crush on him from the moment I met him over 3 years ago - so it truly was one of those "love at first sight," sort of things that somewhat defies explanation.. it just.. happens.

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

28 Dec 2013, 2:37 am

I try not to notice how people smell, and I hope they don't notice how I smell. :oops:

Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

28 Dec 2013, 2:51 am

Mishra2012 wrote:

"Men give love to get sex women give sex to get love" Great quote.

uhhh yeah, great quote. Women never get into relationships with men as a direct result of his income/assets. :roll:

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

28 Dec 2013, 3:43 am

auntblabby wrote:

I try not to notice how people smell, and I hope they don't notice how I smell. :oops:

lol I meant more in a good way.. sometimes the scent of someone is a turn-on. Its stronger for some people than others. Sometimes it's just the scent of that person, maybe it's a pheromone thing? Sometimes it's the scent of that person whether good or bad, ie if the guy I have such a crush on is sweaty from work or a run, I don't find it to be a gross bo smell (in part because it's not, he doesn't stink ever.) I just find it to be his scent and like being close enough to him to notice it. No, I'm not into sweat/bo/stinky people - but I like his scent, whatever it happens to be at the moment.

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,555
Location: the island of defective toy santas

28 Dec 2013, 4:33 am

goldfish21 wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

I try not to notice how people smell, and I hope they don't notice how I smell. :oops:

I guess I lack those particular genes to be able to tune into somebody's smell like they are communicating something to me. all I know is some people smell clean, others perfumey/cologne, whereas others reek of acrid sweat or worse.

goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

28 Dec 2013, 5:54 am

auntblabby wrote:

goldfish21 wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

I try not to notice how people smell, and I hope they don't notice how I smell. :oops:

I don't know if it's being able to tune into someone's scent as if it's communicating something (maybe?) so much as it is being able to tune into people/someone you're immensely attracted to and then anything about them becomes a good thing. The way they breathe, move, smell, laugh, smile, sleep.. a million little things, all of them perfectly imperfect, all of them attractive.

_________________
No :heart:

for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Page 2 of 4 [ 60 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2, 3, 4 Next

Jump to:

What are relationships all about? Post Reply New Topic

What are relationships all about?