I feel like I'm a forever alone and I don't want to be one.

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Thanks everyone for the great advice it seems I just need to get out there and do more and try to get new hobbies which both are doable I just need to motivate myself

I'm 42. I have always really wanted a relationship as well, and have had many very short term ones. I'm sure there is something compatable out there, but it must be very rare. lonelyness is definately one thing humans cannot live with, no matter who you are. I honestly cannot help you, and I know how you feel. I could make a prediction and say, someday you will find a girl who can accept one another or, you will come to realize that you have compatibility issues with most of the opposite sex in an intimate way that makes it very unlikely. if you do find a good one, like I'm sure I have, don't do what I did, and stand there picking lint out of your pocket. social blunders are the queens of us. make your move, and don't do something that might wind you up in jail. remember, you're a rare bird, and eagles cannot mate with chickadees. good luck.

It is not hopeless try to fine someone.

I have personally found that studying human interaction has helped me to socialize, and then I will find potential mates from within my network. If you have the confidence to be the aggressor, then the SIRC Guide to Flirting might help you out a bit. Really though, at 19 you still have plenty of chances and learning opportunities, not to mention projects to improve your value as a mate and therefore the quality of potential dates. The best thing you can do is make mistakes you can learn from.

Fellow forever alone here, 31 year old kiss less, relationship-less aspie virgin. So I definitely understand your frustration, OP.

Indeed, being told to 'just wait and they'll come along' is horrible advice for an Aspie. We suffer sometimes from our introversion and poor social skills, so if we just recluse ourselves and wait , nothing will happen. I listened to this advice for the longest time, which could account partially for how I ended up this way.

I don't know about approaching every woman you meet. I don't like or have a romantic interest in every woman I meet. Desperation will make you less attractive to women, I've heard. Nobody wants to be a 'you'll do', they want to feel special. It can be pretty hard not to appear desperate when you're an adult virgin, I know.

Good luck to you, you are still young, so you have plenty of time to turn this around, if you don't wish to remain a forever alone. I have not got a lot of optimism left for myself.

Don't be desperate when talking to a girl. Also, practice makes perfect. You will get rejected but don't see this as a failure, see this as a way to be better at it the next time.

[quote="JP88"]Hey man I'm in the exact same boat at age 22. It's just so hard to find a place where it is approachable to just go right up to a girl and talk to them. I'm out of college, so I don't know either man.

Making sure you look good, start walking a small, adorable dog [your own or someone elses] to a park or somewhere where there are girls. They will come up and talk to you, about the dog. Have answers ready. not too short. Not too long. Practice answering questions and then asking one of your own. Practice with your friends, or your sister, or even your mom for gosh sake. And be pleasant.

If you feel comfortable asking her for a date, DO NOT USE THAT WORD. Casualy mention an activity, event, restaurant or whatever. Find out if she's interested in seeing that movie, trying that restaurant, going to see that exhibit in the museum. then ask her if she would like to join you. Then you get her number and set a time for the two of you to meet. And yeah, you have to pay for the date...maybe with the extra money you make walking dogs.

Oh come on, you're 19, not 45

Buy a bike and ride from the quayside > wylam or the coast with me if you want to get out doors

That offer goes to anyone else in Newcastle Upon Tyne that want's to get out and enjoy the outdoors a bit more, maybe even get a sun tan this summer!

I'm not a woman and I'm not gay though just offering friendship

Took me till 29 to even go on a date and almost 30 before my first relationship. I have found at my age I get FAR more interest, especially since I started volunteering. I'm single again but I hopefully it will not last much longer. I have also fixed my posture and diet a bit and have started smiling and being open and friendly to everyone (not just attractive women) and the results have been remarkable. I have even begun dating multiple women, something unimaginable just a couple years ago!

I also changed my approach from "why can't I get a girlfriend/what's wrong with me?" to "what can I do to make myself the type of man a woman would fall in love with?" Trust me being in a relationship with the wrong woman is FAR worse than being alone!

The response you get is the equivalent to "you'll have to figure that out on your own", people forget that women do not land in your lap, so saying things like "you'll meet someone" leaves out the part "if you make it happen". Sorry but, if you don't make it happen it's not going to. You should view every place you go to as a potential place to meet women, including on the bus (and at the bus stop), on the train, at work, college (uni/whatever), an interest group and basically pubs and night clubs - places people go to meet people. Practise talking, practise flirting, practise offering them a drink, or asking for their number.

That wouldn't work with all women, but it might work with some of them.

You could be like...



good luck ! !!

I know right! I have gotten so much better at making friends, but I can never get someone to like me. It's not because of any attractiveness problems ( I'm average,) but rather that I act so awkwardly that it wards of anyone who would be interested. I'm extremely shy, so whenever I guy I don't know approaches me, I am unable to respond. I go through what I think I should say, so I either sound boring or a little robot like. It's worse when I'm trying to be outgoing. I can act so aggressive or spastic that it makes guys uncomfortable.

I'm 29, nearly 30, and I am in the same boat as well. I had some girlfriends, some LDR, but all were failures. I tried online dating, but was met with rejection after rejection, many wouldn't even give me the time of day, let alone a hello, or even a "thanks, but no thanks". I don't have any trouble making friends, and I do have a few female friends, some local, some overseas. It hurts me deeply, when they proudly announce they have found love.

I've already given up, especially after a disastrous relationship, and failure to find the right person. I guess I have to accept the fact that I am forever alone.

Non-forever-alone status has to be earned.

Well duh, but not many of us can take subtle hints, or even comprehend of what we are doing wrong. It's practically impossible to "earn non-forever alone status " for many people like us.