Tim_Tex wrote:
"6. I do make the first move when I come across someone I might want to date, but I struggle with a lot of the unwritten and unspoken social cues."
This is the one I am concerned with the most.
I think much of it *can* be written down. Same thing with going into a different culture; you can avoid a lot of gaffes by reading up, getting tips. I don't know where social-cue lists for dating interactions are, though.
What are some cues you've missed in the past? I'd be happy to brainstorm with you if there's not a ready-made list out there.
My BF is really big on empathy, and he picks up on cues a lot of NTs don't. For example, the first time we met, he figured out that saying goodbye with a hug would be totally off-putting to me. He closed with a hug after our second date, when we'd spent an entire day together. That still surprised me, but it was fine. He also just flat-out accepts and operates on individual cues where a lot of "normal" people would try to force the individual into the norm. When I ask him how he does it, he can point out concrete details he's added up.
Oh, and FWIW, he's fat and I don't find that off-putting at all. He always smells nice, and he owns that he's a major nerd.